My story isn't so much different then anyone else in an abusive situation. My soon to be ex-husband was charming and funny. He was everything I could of ever wanted in a man until one day he wasn't. He would sweet talk and gaslight make me feel like I was the one that was crazy. This isn't about what he did to me though this is about my daughter. I have a beautiful 2 month old baby girl. She is amazing and I love her with every ounce of my being but she was not wanted or planned. To understand the story though you need to understand how and when it went wrong. My ex-husband had a violent side and when I would say no to anything he would take it anyways. If he wanted something even when it was out of our grasps, whether financially or physically, it was up to me to make sure he got it at any costs. If I failed at acquiring it for him, he would physically and sexually abuse me. One day he decided he wanted a new truck and this is the day it all went wrong. He told me he wanted a new vehicle and said we were going to go around town and test drive some. After a day of doing that he picked one. He acquired some time beforehand a few checks for our account from the bank and informed me I was going to write this check for him so he could acquire this truck. I told him no and he slapped me hard across the face, so I did. Fast forward check was bad, truck was taken, and we both spent a couple days in jail. My ex-husband bonded himself out with my money and left me in jail for 5 days. Instead of going home to take care of my two other children he was stepfather to, he packed all his things and went to his mothers house two hours away leaving my kids with my parents. Once he was gone though I was so relieved and excited. My life could start anew, oh how wrong was I. Two weeks after I filed for divorce I found out I was pregnant. I have spent the last year fighting him in court not only for divorce but to prove the abuse. My daughter was born November 4th early after he kicked me so hard he lacerated my liver. She was brought into this world unwanted. His goal that day was to make sure she and I didn't survive. I'm still not fully recovered and the trauma he has caused will leave a lasting effect on myself and my kids for the rest of our lives. He will never know the effect he will have on our daughter once she grows up and learns the story of how she came to be and why her father isn't in her life. I will never be able to fix the damage that will cause her heart. Even though she was unwanted by him she will never feel that way from me or her two brothers.
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Aubrey Adkins
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The secret journey to regaining emotional stability
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