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Understanding PTSD Recovery

by Stacy Davenport 2 years ago in recovery
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The Importance of Spirituality

Understanding PTSD Recovery
Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash

My story of recovery started when I was very young, and I suffered PTSD symptoms that worsened as I got older. The PTSD symptoms I had developed due to childhood trauma. My father was an alcoholic who had anger issues. I remember times where he would spank my ass all the way up a flight up stairs and make me piss my pants. There were many incidents where I feared that he would actually kill my brother. I would hear loud banging, yelling, and my brother crying. It was horrific to hear. It left me fearing my father rather than loving him or respecting him. As I got into my teenage years, my father's alcoholism became a bigger problem after my paternal grandmother died. My father spiraled out of control for years, and I was often there to help pick up the pieces throughout my entire life until he died in 2016 when I was 38 years old. Alcohol damaged his liver, and the family spent years trying to save his life. My relationship with my father caused a lot of my PTSD symptoms later in life.

I was also sexually abused by my uncle for years. When I was 8 years old, I told my brother what was happening. My brother told his teacher, and the school ended up calling my mother. When I got home from school one day, I faced my mother, grandmother, and uncle who abused me, and they forced me to tell them what happened. I told them about one incident, not the entire story, and they immediately didn't believe me. I was sent to my room. My mother told me that my father would "deal with me when he got home.” I was terrified. When my father came home, he told me that I couldn't tell anyone what happened. He shouted in my face, and I didn't understand what I had done wrong. I was punished and silenced. The events confused me a great deal and left wounds that I had to sort out all throughout my life. My mother was emotionally distant, cold, and somewhat angry most of the time. I didn't feel that I had anyone I could confide in that I could trust.

By Matthew T Rader on Unsplash

I had a deep connection to spirit that I developed right around the time I needed it most. When I was 7 years old, I remember being afraid of the dark and praying to God that he take away my fears so that I could sleep. I would get a warm feeling over my entire body, I'd feel the presence of something protecting me, a voice would come in my ear and tell me that everything was okay. I would be eased into sleep through prayer. I learned that it worked reliably so I started talking to God and praying as much as I could. I felt so incredibly alone yet I knew that I had a connection to God that I could rely on to lead me in the right direction. I started to have dreams that would come true the next day, premonitions, and a voice in my ear that told me how to be safe in my life. Over the years, the psychic experiences that I had left me seeking answers to why I experienced such strange things when nobody else did. I thought I was evil or mentally ill because the events couldn't be explained by anything natural. Even the church made me believe that only special people could talk to God, like priests and saints. It wasn't something that average people were supposed to be able to do. Still, I used the experiences to help me learn more and more about spirituality.

Although I suffered severely at the worst point in my life, I decided to try to reach out spiritually again. I started reading “A Course in Miracles,” and I finally had answers to why I what was happening. All throughout my life, these expressions of love that helped me overcome my fears were actually miracles. I was amazed to finally read something that made complete sense to me. I've met many people who have had similar experiences that I have over the last two years. I made it my mission to find people like me and build a spiritual support system that aligned me with my true purpose in life.

By Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

Recovery is possible. Never underestimate the power of living a spiritual life. Never ignore a gut feeling because they help you stay safe in life. Try to find a spiritual connection that feels right to you. You don't have to stick to the traditional God you learned about as a Christian or any other religion. You have the freedom to choose your religion, which means that you can express your love for others and the universe in the ways that feel right for you. I suggest that anyone who is suffering severe symptoms try finding a spiritual connection that helps them feel less alone. Pay attention to the ways spirit shows up in your life in the form of acts of kindness, loving gestures, or even just how beautiful nature is to you. PTSD symptoms can be overcome, but victims need to put the work in to combat them using creative techniques that help them feel better. If you have PTSD, you don't have to suffer alone in silence. Start to reach out to create a community of support that feels safe to you. It's important that you learn to trust again, trust yourself and trust that others won't hurt you.

Keep healing!

Follow me on Twitter @Anastas280055889

Please help support victims of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse by donating to my cause at Your support goes to helping to create mobile shelters where victims can find support, resources, safety, and shelter as an alternative to seeking regular shelters, which sometimes don't have the space for victims.


About the author

Stacy Davenport

I own Serista Wellness, LLC and feel passionate about topics related to health and wellness, politics, women’s rights, the LGBTQ+ community, chronic illnesses and social change.

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