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Triggers are Flags for Healing

What are you believing?

By Taucha PostPublished 2 years ago 4 min read
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I made a Reel on Instagram about my ADHD diagnosis that has now been viewed over 555,000 times. That's 690X bigger than the population of the town I grew up in! It is blowing my freakin' mind that something that I made has reached that many people.

Of course it has attracted positive AND negative attention, and the people who didn't like the Reel made sure I knew about it.

I know it's normal for people to disagree. That doesn't usually bother me. I also know that Instagram is full of people who want to start fights for no reason, it's full of bots, and it's full of fake accounts managed by real people that exist solely to create chaos and controversy. So usually, when I get a mean comment on Instagram, I shrug it off. I will either ask that person more questions about how they came to their conclusions, or delete them all together if they are clearly just trying to hurt people.

But last night, one of these comments really stung. I was completely distracted by it for the rest of the night, it kept me up when I was trying to sleep, and when I woke up this morning it was the first thing I thought about. Classic ADHD rumination...

For more context, this was the comment verbatim:

"In today's episode of 'every flaw of mine is not my fault but if my illness and I don't need to try changing them because fuck off you all". Every IG post about X acceptams makes my closer to hating on whatever they are trying to support"

This comment—grammatical nightmare aside—totally triggered me. What I know about triggers is that they are usually a flag for something deep down that still needs to heal, and they usually haven't healed because there is a piece I am still believing.

So today I sat down and wrote a few thought downloads about it. I asked myself, "What parts of this are true?", "What parts are NOT true?" and "What about this am I believing?"

This is what I found to be true and not true. ADHD is totally NOT my fault. ADHD is brain chemistry and brain function, NOT character flaws. I don't NEED to change, but I WANT to change because I believe that although my ADHD is NOT my fault, how it manifests in my life and the lives of the people I love is 100% my responsibility. Taking responsibility for it is why I invest so much time in learning, growing, and sharing with my ADHD community.

So what was I still believing? I was believing the accusation that I am selfish and that I don't care about anyone but myself.

As someone who wasn't diagnosed until their 30s, I spent A LOT of time being misunderstood by myself and others. In that time, there was more than one occasion that I was accused of being selfish and self-centered. I became genuinely afraid that it was true. And based on my reaction to this person's comment, it appears that deep down I'm still afraid that that's true.

The funny thing about treating your ADHD is that there are many MANY layers. You'll be cruising along, happy with your progress and suddenly you'll get poked in a sore spot you didn't even realize was exposed let alone existed. That's because you had to do a lot of excavation to get there.

I was 100% triggered by this comment. I could have argued and debated with them and tried to clarify my point, and force them to see why they were wrong, but ultimately my reaction to their comment wasn't about them, it was about me.

I get to choose what I believe about myself and I believe that I am a deeply caring and giving person who takes responsibility for her ADHD. And there is nothing that anyone can say that will make that untrue.

There is healing to be done here and I will find more soft spots in the future. That's all part of the process.

If your tender heart has been triggered too, ask yourself: What's true? What's not true? and What are you believing? Something in there may need healing.

PS. My membership takes care of ADHDers' bodies, minds, hearts, and souls! Seriously. SERIOUSLY!

It includes:

-Yoga classes for all levels with time for questions after each class

-Mindfulness practices and pose tutorials in a HUGE recorded library

-Body doubles so you can work along side other ADHDers to help you do the hard/boring things

-Powerful live guided journaling practices

-Special events to help you set intentions and follow-through

-ADHD-friendly supports to prevent any shame surrounding consistency

-And membership to a non-judgmental, supportive, loving, and hilarious ADHD Slack community (Seriously, I love them SO MUCH!!!)

Follow me at @adhd.yoga and check out my online studio at adhdyoga.ca.

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About the Creator

Taucha Post

ADHDer here! I'm a certified yoga teacher and ADHD coach-in-training. I empower ADHDers to take care of themselves through movement, breath, and the occasional f-bomb. Follow me at @adhd.yoga and check out my online studio at adhdyoga.ca.

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