To men in suits who mock mentally ill women.

by Tracy Rose 24 days ago in stigma

People with cancer die. People with heart disease die. And people with mental illness commit suicide. I'm sick too.

To men in suits who mock mentally ill women.

This message is for you Mr. J****



It's obvious you are misogynistic. You belittle and trash women. Is it possible your significant other is a victim of domestic violence? Yes, it is certainly possible. And if not. In the sporadic chance you do have a heart. You should know every single mean word you say counts. And unfortunately for you could have severe consequences. Because one thing you should never do is kick a mentally ill person when they are down. Because like you stated, I am sick. You do not know me. Or understand why I was hurting. Or why I was triggered. So to answer your question yes I am crazy. Well in the clinical sense. Because we do demonize people with mental illnesses. And call them “crazy” instead of understanding like any person that is ill, we are sick. So you know Mr. J****, the person who inserted himself under posts of the unfair treatment I was receiving by a fellow colleague. The story is, The colleague said to me “If we were dating, I would’ve felt more comfortable doing business with you.” Now since this is a safe space for writers I know you will all sympathize with me and see the issue here. Because as writers we are sensitive people and have deep, pure souls. Now I am not crazy for my beliefs on this. As it is true to the fact the romantic nature of these messages only pertained to me because I am a woman, it would have not been sent to another man. If that is not enough of a reason for you to see why I am upset then let me give you more reasons. I was let go by two brokerages. Not just for my mood dysregulation, which was very mild. It is a part of my illnesses. But by the simple fact that a woman of my age and stature should be meek, submissive and not stand up to her broker. Even if he is off base. And I don’t mean stand up in the terms of cursing. I mean standing up in an assertive, dignified way. Explaining it is wrong. However that can’t be done. As I am not a man. So I need to always remain submissive. Because if my voice is ever louder than theres their man hood feels insulted. My years in male dominated industries have been exhausting. As the way I am treated doesn't let up. A sales manager constantly hit on me. And the general manager let me go because I am a “distraction” to the men around me. However all this being said, I’d like to answer the remarks you have made. Firstly I am in noway seeking attention as I just wish my voice could be heard. Because it always feels like the men are yelling through mega phones and my words are being quieted and muffled. Nobody hears my voice, because I am a small majority. There is nobody to stand up for me. Nobody who understand or relates. And nobody who cares to. I mean there are a few here and there. And if they don’t agree they put it nicely. But not you Mr. J**** your intentions were to hurt me. You wanted to feel powerful. The question is, you said I was an attention seeker and mentally unstable. Do you know what mentally unstable means? It means, well at least for me, since I have border line personality disorder. That I am in the midst of a very powerful depressive episode. That my suicidal ideation is at an all time high. That I’m questioning my life. That I believe I have ruined the lives of people around me because I am sick. That I believe my family would be better off without me. That I feel so empty that my chest hurts. Feelings of emptiness and hopelessness surround me. And the pain doesn’t stop. It won’t go away. I can’t leave my bed. I just need to continue closing my eyes and sleeping because the second I open them the pain floods back into my body. Now my depressive episodes, my BPD, have nothing to do with feeling wrongfully singled out in the sales industry. But if you want to correlate the two you can go ahead. Although I have all the factual evidence. Nothing has been made up or imagined. Now to go back to what you said. If you feel I am mentally unstable. As I just explained to you what mentally unstable is. Why would you try to push me off the edge? It’s like seeing somebody in a coma on a feeding tube and saying “This person’s sick”, then ripping out their feeding tube and oxygen. You seem intelligent you should know when it comes to mental illness, it’s words that hurt us mentally ill people the most. The sexual and physical abuse always remains a apart of us. But it’s the verbal abuse that molds us into who we are. And usually makes us sicker. Words effect us deeply. As we have warped views on ourselves. And when somebody validates a warped view it makes us spiral. We typically need people around us who spread nothing but positivity. Because even the slightest insult can be a trigger. You have used my illness to insult me which seems very small. Would you make fun of somebody with cancer? Probably not. But I am also sick, just like them. It is you that seeks attention. Needing to be validated by the pompous men around you. It’s like the mega phone metaphor. All the men on my post were yelling. But you needed to pick up the loudest mega phone and scream out your lungs into it. Because weren’t your words speaking the loudest? Because you are the one who metaphorically took out a coma patients feeding tube and oxygen. It was clear I was speaking the softest, because as I said my words are always muffled. It’s always me thats wrong. And the men around me high five each other and give thumbs up as they all take shots at me. So Mr. J**** maybe you should be more careful with the way you speak to women. It would be a real shame if you were ever to be faced with the consequences.

stigma
Tracy Rose
Tracy Rose
Read next: Never In the Cover of Night
Tracy Rose

I’ve lived my whole life with mental illnesses and tend to fall for the wrong people. I no longer want to feel stigmatized and ashamed. I will be sharing my writings, some funny and some serious. I hope to help reach those who suffer. ❤️

See all posts by Tracy Rose