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Titanium Woman

“When going through Hell, just keep going....”

By Tanya Arons Published 3 years ago Updated 3 months ago 2 min read
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I am Standing in the middle of a maelstrom. A vortex. A tornado. In the stillness of hell that buffets me. I take a breath and remember. I am a cog in a wheel in the circle of life. My time is always Now. I am never too late or too early. I am always perfectly aligned with the machinations of the multiverse. A wheel within a wheel slowly Inexorably locking into place, in time and space.

Yesterday some dirty motherfucker made me want to push myself off my own timeline...off my tiny grip on my cosmic wheel that keeps turning and clicking into place with or without my fractal frenetic accomplices.

Fait accompli? Not yet...not yet...my wheels are spinning but they have their own orbit and their own rhythm. The people and souls that choose me each and every day, who grant me love and support and holiness, may bounce into my orbit or fly free of my stolid hobbit footed grip on this equally gyrating planet, a tiny sphere in a giant multiverse. A mere dot.

Who am I to go against the Will of God, of all the gods that excruciatingly denied me wealth and true love and safety and sanctity until even They said “Genug! Enough”. The woman has talent, and heart and courage and we shall bless her with beauty, bliss, benevolence and brilliance. And so They did.

Suddenly, miraculously, albeit arduously this woman reclaimed her lifeforce and her awe, her delight in small things and in the Majesty. Her grip on her cosmically enshrined clock. Chiming into eternity.

Tick tock! Time is a human construct They say. Nature will hold her sway and The Tanya?...Will rejoice another blessèd day. Dance, sing, write, and Love. Politely segue the ignoble and dissolute who tried to destroy her joy and her light.

Go! Be awesome somewhere else. Shine bright like a Diamond. Be the best version of you. Perhaps a version you yourself has not met yet!

I will Suffer no competition or befoulment, no envy or vice. For we are Equals under the skies. Children of earth and sky and sea and most precious beloveds of the gods. (Just keep that Trickster cherub away from me as her arrows scorch and brought me only scorn!)

My Love merits a love that meets me halfway and takes my hand and dances me to the end of love and back again. Hallelujah. But I had to grow my own heart another skin. I had to let it heal. Then ignite it and spark it out into the cosmos. A siren song and distress/impress call...

Alone I remain as my heart called in The One amongst the many who sought to trifle with my existence. And in my solitude I remained in love with life, with love and with my own soul. I grew older and bolder. Threw grief over my shoulder and gained back the peace stolen by ugly Fools.

My time...is Precious. My heart is strong. It will leave a resonance long after I am gone. In the sweetness of a blooming flower, or a faint memory for the ones who truly did love me...even from a distance of eons.

Click clack. The locks are sealed in time and space. I miss your face and the love you denied me but it’s all okay. Another day. Another way. Another epoch awaits me.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons

16 January 2021

humanity
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About the Creator

Tanya Arons

I write about my life experiences. I write about complex ptsd, the agonies, the angst and my post traumatic growth. About Beauty, Truth and Honour and little vignettes of comfort from the spirits that love me: living and dead. I also Dance!

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