Throw Me To The Wolves And I Will Come Back Leading The Pack

Dumping a bucket of water on a wicked witch is like dumping a bucket of truth on a narcissist. The difference is this. You can collect water from any place to dump on a witch. The hose, the sea, rain, the toilet. It doesn't matter. Dump and watch them melt.

To gather a bucket of truth, you have to collect it for a long time. Once you have a big bucket of solid truths (facts) you can dump it on them. It's best served once, after time has passed, and when you are safely out of their proximity.

A narcissists desperation for favorable public recognition is the very weapon that they destroy themselves with in the very end by exposure. It is not possible to urgently crave and actively seek public recognition and not eventually expose yourself.

If you are teetering on the edge, chomping at the bit for adoration from the masses, you have put yourself dead center for public exposure...when there is an informant who is playing the long game and has collected truths over a long period of time. The act of truth collecting is done in silence and without emotion.

Collecting Truth: You have to be subject to communications. Most likely, you did not have the foresight to gather truths prior to departing, or changing the terms of the relationship or at the very least complaining and seeking resolutions from the narc. Once you do that, they are onto you and sabotage you, your stuff, your contacts etc.

Chances are, you got burned in some way by a psychopath the, from that experience learned how to collect truths. It is instinctual in some ways.

You can collect truths when you are no contact.

The best way to collect truths is to be quiet, calm, polite and boring gray rock and they will come right to you. For example, hoovering attempts are good truths to collect. If you are quiet and still, the monkeys will come right at you. Keep being quiet. The quieter you are, the more noise they make.

You can collect truths from multiple narcs at one time. You can collect them over a decade or longer and you can collect truths on 50 narcs at one time or even more. They run in packs, they shift groups and they solicit new people to approach you.

Even if you are not physicaly present to dump that bucket of truth and watch them melt, you will absolutely feel the relief, even from 10,000 miles away.

You do not have to feel bad or sad for melting witches with water or narcs with buckets of truths. Over time, a bucket of truths does not dissipate in power or strength. As you collect them and they become part of a big story that intertwines and connects with the other narcs, minions, monkeys and psychopaths, they seem more and more "crazy." Because truths about evil people are scary, unnatural, unfit for a clean or pure conscience.

The flying monkeys and minions give so many opportunities for you to collect truth because they intrude upon your life in a vulgar unsolicited manner. They are abusers themselves considering that their behavior is what fuels the abuser to keep going. In a situation in which one party is harmed, victimized and subjected to emotional, physical, sexual or financial abuse there is no "neutral." If they were told about the abuse and choose to stay "neutral" they are abusers by proxy.

Minions and flying monkeys provide truth because they change over time. The psychopath burns out on group, uses them up or is dumped and moves onto a new one. They reach out, spy, send electronic communications and often threaten, harrass, photograph and/or loom near the target in order to report information back to the narcissist. As a by product of these tactics, you end up with numerous communications. Keep them. Especially the ones early on when you felt the need to justify yourself to them. You told them about your experience. They either ignored you or otherwise actively chose to support an abuser. As a result, you have communications from them in which they chastise you and sing the praises of the abuser. As time passes and the narcissist shows his true colors, these communications expose the minions and flying monkeys for their own evil. They interfered in your life six years ago and before the narcissist went to jail. They look silly now. You have the emails in which they urged you to take some action to accomodate the narcissist, the one who was convicted of fraud and is now in jail. They are not known for their forward thinking.

By embroiling themselves in this drama the flying monkeys and minions distract from the horror of their own lives, gain supply, feel relevant and powerful. The abuser dumps them at whim. They do not generally learn. They blindly follow the abuser and even when presented with evidence they refuse to adknowledge it or evaluate it with objectivity. They are invested in believing the garbage the abuser dishes out.

There are rare instances in which people are duped by the abuser. This is not as common. The people who know you, who you want in your lives are more often not easily fooled by a person who makes claims about you that are outrageous and the opposite of your character. However, using silence, isolation and secret smear campaigns that start the moment you introduce them to your friends and family, they are sometimes able to get away with this madness. It is not often that damaging flying monkeys suddenly change their minds and admit they were wrong and stop harrassing. It takes a certain type of person to be the type of flying monkey who gets into action prompted by the narcissist.

When you dump the truth bucket it will be filled with the truth (logs, emails, texts, logs of calls they ignored from you, broken email chains etc) about numerous parties. The negotiations, threats, name calling, lies and claims that the abuser is a righteous person look ridiculous as time passes and the abuser proves to be the opposite of anything decent.

Narcissists love to break the chain of communications switching from email to text to whatsapp and back. This is to make you appear flakey and to be able to support, with evidence, numerous points they are trying to make. Our Family Wizard solves part of that problem by keeping all communications in one place. I have heard of narcissists who solicit other people to operate MyFamilyWizard for them and of course, that is hard to prove. By sending their communications to folders you do not see, you have an abundance of nonsense stored away.

Once a narcissist recognizes they have lost control over you, they will call virtually any one of your contacts claiming they are "transparent" and in need of help to solve the problem. The problem can not be solved. They are abusive and you are done. If that were not the case they would not be frantically calling your contacts. When they can no longer control you, they seek to control how others perceive you. These contacts who urged you to reconcile look ridiculous later when the narcissist shows his true colors.

It is a danger sign when you learn that the person you are involved with called your contacts for any secret reason, particularly if they claimed they were worried about you. That is the hallmark of abusers starting a smear campaign. They play themselves as concerned or the victim and appeal to your close contacts. There is one decent response to a smear campaign and that is to call the target/victim immediately, check on their condition and report on what the abuser said.

If you learn later that the narcissist contacted your people and they did not immediately alert you, there is something very wrong with them and they are engaging in smear campaigns. If it were true that the abuser were worried about you and called them to express that worry, if they cared about you they would tell you. How could they hear that you are "crazy" and not tell you? How could they not find it terrifying that someone is saying that you are crazy and not tell you? Either way they are sneaky, manipulative, evil and worth avoiding. The ones who fit into the small group where they are conned and later revise their view are exception.

Every second that you do not dump that bucket and keep filling it is a moment they fear that you are going to dump. That's not your problem. They should have thought about that before they involved themselves in your life and caused you harm.

You do not have to make comments, pass judgement or say negative things when you dump. The outrageous evil exists in the truth. All you have to do is quietly store it, fill the buket, dump and walk away.