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This Is How You End Fear

by Rabih 6 months ago in trauma

Never allow fear to limit you again

Photo by GR Stocks on Unsplash

We all know really smart people. People that have amazing skills and talents. We’re often surprised by how much they know. How ingenious they are, how quick they’re able to solve problems.

Most of the time, those people are no one else but us. Yes, you and me.

We did the extra work. We learned more, practiced more and gave back more. Whenever someone needed it. We were there to help. We don’t always express our needs. It’s fine. It doesn’t truly matter at the end of the day. We’re okay.

We’re independent. We love to do things by ourselves. Sometimes this love for independence makes us forget how to work with others. We may become too stubborn at times. Almost obsessive. Especially when it comes to our principles.

We know how to help others. We can design the best strategies to achieve almost anything. Others look up to us. They say that we inspire them, yet, we never understand why.

Some of us can be cocky at times. It’s just our way of having fun. We learn all the time. We optimize everything. And how we are gives us a sense of confidence — one that is unfortunately cancelled out by our doubts — because there’s always something we could’ve done better.

Why is it that those who have the most potential to develop themselves, their skills, but also — those who have the best intentions for all — why is it that such people limit themselves so much?

To the world, we look like heroes — but internally, we feel like there’s more to do — and we know that we could be capable of so much more if we just found a way to transcend our internal blockages — mainly, fear.

I once became aware that someone at work had put a bird in a cage. The news made me furious. I immediately walked to the cage. And the people around told me the bird was there for three weeks. What? And it’s only today that I hear this? Open it now! Let it be free. And I never want this to happen again.

The bird must’ve been as excited about it as we were to see it fly, once again. At least, that’s what we thought. After opening the cage, it wouldn’t move. It sat there, looking at everything it always wanted without moving a feather. It seemed confused. Finally, someone took it out, and only then did Birdy fly.

Birds represent the total freedom we all yearn for. These almost angelic and ethereal beings that journey through endless skies open us to the infinite. To who we truly are, to how we knew ourselves once.

For such a being that is literally ‘architected’ for freedom, to be confused about it when it can be free — just shows how much attachment and fear can deprive us from what feeds our souls.

Fear has its place as a protective mechanism for the body, . Unfortunately, we don’t procrastinate, limit ourselves, sabotage our progress because we have a gun pointed at our heads — even if we’d achieve anything if we were actually threatened.

Instead of having real threats that could stop us in the course of our actions — we have psychological threats. Those threats come in the form of doubts, negative self-talk, unprocessed past experiences, limiting beliefs and so on.

Just like the cage in which Birdy was, those psychological threats form the structure of our ‘mental’ prison. This cage of ours is what we believe to be the ultimate truth to life — whether factual or not, and in most cases it’s not.

Like Birdy, even while living in this cage of ours — we still have our wings and flying skills. We know what we’re capable of. And our different instincts help us live one day after the other.

As long as the cage is there — we function at our best, people notice us and they almost feel like we’re too big for such a limiting place. But we don’t bother. The ultimate truth must remain the ultimate truth. Even if it’s not an actual truth.

From time to time, we give a look at what lies outside the cage. This is a vision we have. A goal we’d like to achieve. Different possibilities, different lives.

This ‘looking’ outside our repetitive existence almost reminds us that we can choose to leave, to live. It reminds us like it does with Birdy, that we have wings for a reason. Our desire to be free, to explore, to expand can never be compromised.

It’s true. We have become so familiar with our thoughts, beliefs, reactive patterns, and the overall repetitiveness in our life that we somehow got attached to it. And you know it. Familiarity breeds attachment. Attachment means security.

But. Despite all this, we don’t stop looking outside the cage. Those ‘wings ’of ours keep vibrating. Their movements become compulsive. It feels as if they can’t help it. They want to go out.

And as if life is responding to this desire, someone gets mad and the cage is opened. We find a book, a course, a role model, a passion and something clicks. The door is unlocked. The outside that we yearned for, for so long is now just a step away.

But we sit there. We crave this. But. What will happen once we’re out? What lies ahead? Our attachment to this prison we consider to be the ultimate truth is strong. It’s all we know. It’s who we’ve become. What will happen if we dare question it?

Fear is avoidance of pain. Fear is attachment to security. How vast the ‘cages’ of pain and security are determines how much fear controls our life.

The tighter the ‘cage’, the more fearful one is and the less expansion one experiences.

The vaster the ‘cage’, the less fearful one is and the more expansion one experiences.

Just like Birdy, which represents our awareness, we move within the cage of fear.

Some beings are extremely fearful, others rarely feel fearful. How vast the ‘cage’ is depends on how connected to reality we are. We won’t say that fears are illusions until this is experienced personally.

Until then. There is only one way to end fear.

Question whatever you are attached to. See for yourself if there is true security there, be critical about it and really investigate it to its roots.

Courage is not the opposite of fear. Courage is questioning it.


About the author


I write about spirituality, not only to inform but most importantly to transform.

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