Thinking

So I have been doing better-ish. I actually cleaned my room for the most part; I will clean it up more. I even took out my trash.

It’s the little things, ya’ know.

Maybe I’ll actually get back into working out again. Hard to say but at least the thought is in my head again.

Lately, I’ve been excited about the personal project I’m doing. I’m happy I’m getting that drive back again. Just hope it lasts.

I've actually been thinking about startup up old projects I had; well at least before school starts again. Like in high school I had many fanfic ideas but only really fell through with one. Basically, I only post one while the other was unfished or still just prompts.

I told one of my friends about them and she really encouraged me to continue or update them. And honestly, I am thinking about it. I’m actually starting to fix up the horror one I had planned. So far it is just the outline but I do think it will actually come out great in the end.

Should I post it here though? I don’t know I don’t think that’s allowed here; or is it? I am still very new to this website.

But I do know I’m going to be very proud of what I will write. This is first because writing is not really my thing. Sometimes when I write it doesn’t come out right, when I type. That’s only one of the reasons I don’t like English class. Essays aren’t too bad though just hate the writing part; mainly due to the fact that it’s supposed to be a certain amount of words and I can summarise things super easily. So the trouble is literally expanding my thought to pass.

It could also depend on what I write too. Which does make sense.

But that’s not the only thing I have been thinking about, the thing is making an ARG which means an Alternate Reality Game. Mainly due to the fact that I am home all the time; well everyone is.

But I think this would the best time to do it.

Maybe I have ti something with demons, ghosts,s or aliens. I’ve seen so many people do amazing things. I recommend them, most are obviously horror related.

But I think it would be fun and I don’t have to have a huge budget or anything. For example, hiimmarymary which she filmed herself with just her sister. Along with many others but I do think it would be fun.

Just need to cement an idea first then develop the story and such.

The last thing is my mortality. Immensity depressing I know but not entirely.

I actually took a call in high school it was called Thanatology, which is the study of death. We talk about how each culture handles death along with how people dealt with loss; of all kinds of loss mind you. Anyway, in the class, we had to plan our funerals and it was weird but oddly fun if that makes any sense.

For me, I said I wanted there to be a buffet at mine or after I guess, and to have my ashes be blown up in a firework.

So as of now, I was thinking about who would be okay if I died. I sadly realized every one of my friends and family would be sad but eventually continue on with life but my boyfriend well her said something that made me realize, I could live without my boyfriend but he wouldn’t be able to live without me.

“I hope I die before you because I don’t think I could carry on if I lost you like that.”

Is it bad to stay alive for someone else? Maybe but that’s the main reason I’m still here.

Still got so many ideas. That hopefully I can do.