Things I've Learned in Therapy

Many people have dealt with mental illnesses and traumatic events; Abuse, neglect, assault, abandonment, you name it. Recently, I've been going to see a therapist. I've sought out help for a while, and now that I'm receiving it, this is what I've been learning. 

1. Areas of trauma 

Reflecting on moments of your life that have had a lasting impact on you in a negative way. Looking through your past and realizing how something that scarred you still imposes on your current day life. Once you're able to pinpoint what exactly bothers you, you're closer to figuring out how to stop it from affecting you. 

2. Do not avoid what triggers you 

I'm not here to sing exposure therapy's praises, but some degree of it helps. Having a sensitivity to certain topics is alright, but avoiding it all together only makes encounters with it worse. Seeing someone let the things they're afraid of take over their life is not pretty, I've had to witness it first hand all of my life. You'll eventually become a hermit and never be able to accomplish anything. So when you come across something that you feel like hiding from, just let it's path cross with yours. 

3. Compare traumas you've gotten over with the ones you're still overcoming 

Seeing how you've gotten through past traumatic events can help guide you through dealing with the ones you struggle with. During one of my sessions, my therapist made me rate how bothered thinking about my traumatic events still made me feel on a scale of 1-10, 1 being pretty much over it and 10 being still affected. Maybe you can use the same process that worked for you in the events you rated lowly. For me, I realized that I can use the same logic that helped me get though an event that I rated a 4 to help with an event that I rated a 7. I'll cover that next. 

4. Standing up for yourself 

With the problem I faced, I realized the best way to get out of it was to realize my power. I didn't have to deal with that treatment so I went ahead and put my foot down, I would cut all contact with the abuser. When I called him out on everything he did to me and others, I got so much closure, it was liberating. And because of this, I can recognize manipulative behavior and I will never put up with it again. Other times, it can be as simple as demanding what you need, I knew I needed help and kept pushing until I finally got it. That being said, that mindset wasn't enough to save me from being assaulted by someone I knew. But it doesn't mean that the healing process can't be as liberating as the other. Breaking off connect with that person immediately was already a great start, but I didn't see all the damage it had caused until later. 

5. Knowing that healing is a journey, sometimes a long, long journey 

There's many degrees of trauma, multiple levels, stairs to climb, hills that when you get over one, there's more lined up after. I had to see that the actual event was just the tip of the iceberg. After it happened, it took months for me to see how bad the situation actually was; My lack of control, how violated I was, and how it was not my fault. To this day I still struggle with believing that it wasn't my fault, but years ago, I would have never blamed him. I've gotten so far with this and no matter how long it's taken, it's worth it. So just trust that in time you will get through it. 

I might not know much, but I have hopes for therapy and that it will help me even more. If you're thinking about getting help, I recommend it and I'm proud that you're searching for that help. Everyone deserves to be listened to and given a second chance at life. I wish everyone the best :)