I just wanna know... why you're so scared of these parts of you. Why they're the enemy. Why you refuse to feel things that so badly want to be felt. Why you continue to allow them to bleed into your life. Why they're still affecting you in the way they are. Why you give them the power you do. The control over your happiness, your mood, your life.
All the things you feel. All the things we all feel.
Trust me, I get the stigma. I get how everyone views them. But, it's you that has to deal with them. All your life you are taught to look at the negative, bad feelings and emotions are scary as parts of you that you don't want to feel and acknowledge. You're scared of things that you shouldn't be. Because no one ever told you anything different. No one ever told you that you've been looking at them all wrong. That you've been scared of the parts of yourself that aren't really scary at all. That those parts don't define you. That we all feel them. That they only have the power that we give them and the fear that we feed them. That all they ever want is the same thing we all ever want, to be understood. To be validated. To be felt. To be heard.
This is what I want you to know...
We can’t be scared to be vulnerable. We can’t be scared of our feelings. Because as long as we are scared of them, they have power over us. The power that we have given them. We hide from them and push them away because we don’t want to face them. We’re scared of them. We don’t want to feel them. And then, when we are forced to, they consume us like a never ending wave drowning us. They rush over, causing us to spiral. We feel like we've lost control, we feel lost. Left wondering if it ever ends, if we’ll ever snap out of it. If we will ever be the same. If we will ever be okay. They unbalance us because they have control over us. The control that we've relinquished to them. The power that we've allowed them to have. The place in our lives we've given to them.
The scariest part of it all is that they make us feel like we have no control. Become people we never thought we were possible of becoming. Do things we never thought we were capable of. Say things we never thought we'd say. Hurt people we never thought we could. Feel things we never thought possible. Make us question ourselves and our identities. Make us feel like we don't know anything about ourselves and others. While we manifest all of these feelings inside our heads, we are overthinking every possible thing that could happen. Replaying it over and over again.
They show us the darkest parts of ourselves. The sides we all have but refuse to acknowledge. The parts we deny. The parts we hide. The parts that we never want to feel and see. The parts that we believe make us ugly and unattractive. The very parts that make us human. Because the world tells us that everyone is perfect and it's not okay to show the parts of us that aren't. So we hide them, we push them down. We act okay until we can't anymore. Until we are on the verge of breaking, exploding... like a volcano that has been building for decades... because we've refused to acknowledge the emotions that need to be acknowledged and felt the most. The demand to be felt, and will be. It's up to you, the intensity and effect they will have, now or later.
They’ve been hidden and ignored for far too long and as long as we refused to be in tune with our feelings and fear them, we will never be fully balanced because we aren’t in sync with the very things that make us human. Never able to be in a constant state of balance as long as they remain giants. As long as we are scared to feel our emotions, they will hinder us instead of help us. When we are able to welcome instead of be weary of our feelings, they become friends and not foes. They no longer have the power they once had. Because, just like people, once you get to know them, they aren’t as scary anymore.
We get so hurt by others. Get into toxic relationships. But, in the process of it all, subconsciously fall into toxic relationships with ourselves. Forgetting to take care of our emotional health. Spending time with the parts of ourselves that we don't want to. Feel the emotions that we don't want to feel. And remember that they are just a part of who we are, not who we are.
They only want to be understood. They don’t want to be hidden and ignored. It’s a beautiful thing to be at one with your feelings, to be able to feel good and bad. To be able to feel and not fall apart. To be able to appreciate them for everything that they are. To be able to acknowledge and feel them, and it be beneficial and not detrimental. To be in control of your feelings instead of allowing them to control you. To view them as a good thing instead of a bad one. To be able to fully feel them without them consuming you, controlling you. To be able to view vulnerability and your feelings as strengths, not weaknesses. To no longer fear them. To understand that mental health starts with the understanding of everything we are feeling.
Understanding can bring so much peace, while confusion brings chaos. And to be whole means taking the time to get to know them. It takes an incredibly strong person to be able to face their feelings and be vulnerable.
Vulnerability is only as scary as we make it. It’s such an exquisite thing to be able to be emotional and vulnerable.
They were never meant to be giants. They were never meant to be the enemy. We did that all on our own. We made them that. From others. From ourselves.
They only hurt us if we allow them to. They only hold us back if we let them. They are only our baggage if we carry them as such. They don't control us unless we let them. They aren't anything until we make them everything.
The things we all seem to forget when we are lost in it all is that we aren't alone in what we feel. We aren't unique in the feelings and emotions that we feel. They are valid, every single one of them. You have a right to feel what you are feeling and no one can tell you you're wrong for that. Anyone that ever tries to tell you how to feel, or invalidate your feelings, doesn't deserve to know them. It's easy to talk about the good, but it's the bad that really need our attention. Because, just like people, they're the ones that are hurting the most. But, they're also the ones that have the most potential for growth.
They don't have to be detrimental. They don't have to hurt or hinder you. They don't have to be something you're ashamed of, or embarrassed of. They don't have to be something you're scared of, or something you fear. They don't have to be the dark part of you. The parts you're afraid to feel. The side you never want anyone else to see.
Our feelings have never been the enemy, we made them that.