The year he was elected

The news hit with me alone in my room, my boyfriend was out of town working and wouldn't be back for some time, several months to be exact. I found myself pondering how the coming years would present. I am in the LGBTQ+ community, as well as being of the opinion that black lives matter, and I overall did not agree with Trump's message. I found myself worried for my friend's safety, as well as my own.

Leading up to this news, I had found myself crashing through the floor of my manic episode into a dismal depression while alone in my room. Unsure of what to do, I began drinking, and drinking until I eventually fell asleep on my tear stained pillow. I woke the next morning, groggy and upset to the call from a boy I had been friends with for the last ten years.

"What's up, Connor?" I found myself slurring through a daze of nightmares.

"Hey, hey! I'm going to a protest today, you should join! Josiah is out of town, right?" he started quickly, as usual. Connor, had a lot of mental afflictions.

With a large sigh I collected my thoughts "Well... I'm not sure if I have it in me to go to a protest today" I caught myself being to weep and shake at the thought of being alone another night. "Honestly, I'm not okay to be alone though, I...I don't trust myself not to do something stupid." there was a brief silence between us before he retorted.

"Well, I need to go to this protest, but I'll have alcohol, and I can keep an eye on you" an unsatisfactory resolution at best, but it was the only thread I had to grasp at, so I agreed.

Before I knew it I was downtown on a corner amidst a large group of people, where I bumped into an ex girlfriend I had ended things with in a brutal way. She was kind anyway, and offered me some weed, noticing how shaken I was. That's when Connor emerged from the crowd, bad posture and all, cigarette in one hand, bottle of whisky in another.

"Hey, Lydia, here," he handed me the bottle which I greedily accepted, slurping down enough to make the strongest of people shudder, which I did. "wanna go somewhere private?" He asked as we left the crowd allowing me to cry in a small nook around the corner as he listened. The rest of the protest was a wash of yelling, marching, and anxiety attacks. We were a rather large group after all.

I later found myself walking with him in the hopes of heading back to my house when we stopped at a bar to share a few beers, where he confessed a perspective shifting bit of info.

"Heh, I've thought about raping you on several occasions...well basically every time you've been drunk...This is the first time we've been alone in like five years, huh?" The look in his eye was piecing, and wanting. He seemed to be studying me in the hopes of making this a reality, but I couldn't be alone either. All my mind would wander back to was the thought of a sharp knife against the flesh of my wrist. I needed a baby sitter, and unfortunately he was my only option.

When Connor went to the bathroom the barkeep leaned over to speak with me "do you need help? That man with you..."

"Hmmm, no, I'm fine, I can kick his ass on the worst of my days, I've done it before..." I was slurring and upset.

"Yeah...but sti-" He stopped as Connor waltzed into the room, eyeing him suspiciously. We left shortly after, grabbing a cab, leaving me puking into my backpack. When I was done rinsing out my bag in my bath, I walked into my room to the image of Connor pulling up a feature length porno on my playstation. Shortly after I kicked him out of my room, and went to bed.

In the morning I swiftly removed him from my house, allowing the reality of one of my closest friends of so long turning out to be so dastardly. The reality that truly anyone can be a threat.

It took me six months to tell Josiah what happened, tears running down my face.

A few months later I was admitted to a mental hospital for depression and suicidal ideation for two weeks, causing me to lose both my jobs.