The Worst Things You Can Tell a Person Suffering From Depression

Hi, you. Yes, you—I see you. Click on this because this is some dumb stuff you should already know but probably still need educated on. Slipping up on what we say to someone with depression, or any mental illness for that matter, can be very damaging, especially seeing as many people with mental illness interpret what is said more harshly. Not only that, but one third of people suffer depression at some point in their lives, a recent study showing that this number is still growing. Now is the time to learn to help those suffering, first by knowing what not to say. I'm glad you're still here. Read on, and you could save lives by your choice of words.

Depression is something that, unless you have experienced it yourself, you will not understand. The first rule for the lucky chap who never experienced the numbness and painfulness of mental illness: Never, I mean never, assume that you understand what they are going through. You do not.

So please, no one wants to hear any of the "I can relate with you" sob stories like below:

"I know just how you feel."

"No way, I had depression once." (Coming from the girl who cried for a day because she failed a test in high school who suffers no more than being a hypochondriac.)

"I feel really sad too sometimes."

Furthermore, seeing as you have not experienced depression, DO NOT TRY TO GIVE ADVICE TO SOMEONE WHO DOES ON DEALING WITH IT. PERIOD.

"You just need to get over it."

"Sleep it off."

"Stop being lazy and do something and you will be fine."

"Just stop being sad."

"Stop overthinking."

"You aren't even trying to get better."

"Just get on with it."

"Stop dwelling on it."

Recommend a counsellor for crying out loud.

Also, do not try and pep talk a person who is suffering more than you can imagine.

"You know, you are really just being a bum."

"You are going to fail your exams if you don't study more."

"You're just being lazy, and you are going to end up without a future."

"You should just ignore it."

"You should just stop feeling sorry for yourself."

*Depressed person has an anxiety attack.*

Don't assume that you know what is going on.

"I completely understand. When your dog died, everybody was sad but we just have to move on." No Barbara, no. It was not the dog dying which gave me depression. I just choose not to talk about it.

"You're always so low when it's your period, aren't you?"

Don't talk about prescribed drugs unless told to/ asked about it.

"Hey, you take your happy pills today?"

"Do you take drugs for that? It could help."

"Take your crazy pills yet?"

Break their legs. I give you permission.

Do not share information about another person's depression.

"Yeah, this lad here, he didn't get out of bed for a full week once!"

"She always flakes. She's just depressed. It's such an excuse."

"Yeah, she broke up with me because she has depression."

Yes, I know what you are thinking—A GUY ACTUALLY USED THAT. Be wary of who you date, my fellow mentally ill friends.

Do not bring up things to do with that person's suffering, how they cope, or make jokes about it—even if the depressed individual does.

Joking about the pain is often a coping mechanism, but it is just hurtful listening to other people do it. The depressed person can make light of the situation, and you can laugh with them but be very careful if you joke. You could just be hurting them. If a person says they have depression, take it seriously.

"Have you done it recently?" Mother states worriedly. *Slashing wrist imitation in front of Dad*

"I feel so depressed todayyy." *whining, annoying person*

"I will jump off that bridge with you if you want. I'm done with school."

May I also point out, suicidal jokes, are in no way at all funny.

I.e.:

"Go drink Domestos."

"Go jump off a bridge."

"Hang yourself."

If you find that amusing to tell people, mentally ill or not, you need to check yourself into a hospital, you psycho.

Being hyper sensitive, and looking at the person as though they are an abused puppy in a definite no-no.

"Are you okay?"

*Five minutes pass.*

"Are you okay?"

*Another five minutes pass.*

"How are you feeling now?"

*Two minutes later*

"Are you feeling any better?"

*Depressed person punches other person in face.*

OH MY GOODNESS, WE ARE STILL HUMAN BEINGS.

Lastly, do not, please, please, please do not turn the depressed person's situation into your own problem.

Person with depression: "I have depression."

So-called friend: "OH MY DAYS, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME. I can't believe my friend has depression. It's so sad. I just don't know what to do, or how to cope. Like, what do I even say to you? Is there any way possible that I can help you? Oh I feel so terrible. I haven't slept for days just thinking about this. It is just so, oh my goodness, are you still reading this huge spiel? Get a life, dude."

Ultimately, finally, lastly what I want to say is, in general, you open your mouth and you will probably fail in some way at comforting a person who suffers from depression. It's okay, though, because we've had a rough time already and we deal with people like you a lot (no offense.) The greatest part about this is that you don't need to speak. So slap some duct tape over that gob, Janet, because your ears are far more useful. Depressed people need to vent sometimes, to rant and gossip like everybody else. All they need is a listening ear, so that they know someone cares. We don't have all the answers, and we don't expect you to either. We just need a friend.