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The Strongest Lady We Knew

by Wendy Leggett about a year ago in family
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Letter to Heaven

Our Dearest Friend,

It’s been a year since you left us and some days it’s still hard to believe that you’re gone. You were the strongest of us all- always there for the rest of us. Two of us had mother’s that moved us in and out of town frequently, but we knew that we always had a friend when we came back.

At twelve you had the responsibility of your baby sister since both of your parents worked, yet you were still there for us. You encouraged us all to be ourselves, and not worry about what anyone else thought. As teenagers that isn’t an easy thing to do, but you made it look like it was. You picked us up every time we fell, and helped us get back on the right path.

Even when your father passed Senior year, you never let anyone see how much pain you were in. You were the heart that held your family together then, and you never stopped. As we left school and began adulthood it would have been so easy for us to lose each other but no matter where we roamed you checked on each of us from time to time.

When I received the news, I went numb for three days, running on auto pilot. I couldn’t wrap my mind around how a selfless person could do what I always consider a selfish thing. Even when I was diagnosed as suicidal, I laughed and told them that I wasn’t that selfish. It’s selfish to me because you’re only think of yourself and not considering the way the people care about you are going to react

I came to the realization that it’s when you can no longer see the pain you will cause others is when you’ve become suicidal. All you saw was that your children had become fine young adults and you felt that your depression was the only cloud in their sky. Somehow, you could no longer see that you were still our light in the darkness, and thought we would be better off without you.

We all knew that your marriage wasn’t always happy, but you seemed to be handling it the way you had everything else- with your head up and smiling. When we spoke the last time, you made the comment that you weren’t sure you would go through it again. I thought it odd but he came out of the store and I never got the chance to ask you about it.

When we gathered to celebrate your life, eating, drinking, and telling stories we discovered that you had been dealing with depression so bad that you had entered therapy on two occasions, but you never reached out to any of us. I think that was the hardest thing to accept.

You were always there for us, so why was it so hard for you to reach out to one of us. You knew that I had finally started treatment for my depression. I talked to you about it in some detail and you never hinted you had been going through the same thing. I’m not sure if there was some hint that I missed, something more I could have said.

We’ve all been dealing with it in our own way, finding acceptance if not answers. As I had mentioned to you. I have been able to find some good mixed with the bad. We have all reconnected. While still living our lives, we try to make sure that it’s known that we’re still here for each other the way you have been there for each it us in the past.

You’re still the heart of us and will for the rest of our lives.

Hoping you found peace in Heaven

Wendy

family

About the author

Wendy Leggett

Live in a small town in South Georgia. I've been writing since I was 12 years old. I'm happily married with a grey pit and 3 cats.

Soon to be self publ my first contemporary romance.

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