The sad truths

Along with love and learning how to live a good life I came to a few sad truths about my own thought process existence and way of life. Some that I know a lot of people could agree with. While others would more than disagree but persecute the people who do have to live like this. This story is more of my understanding not the worlds view. So once again I am not a professional, I'm just someone who has lived.

As many of you are close relatives and friends reading this then you already know that I have suffered from mental illness for 11 years. In this I have learned a lot about myself, how my life is different from many others, and how to live life now. My current diagnosis is PTSD. As we all know though a lot of mental illnesses overlap so I really could be anything. Even though this is one of the easiest illnesses to understand no one really does. I'm often called crazy and then lash out in crazy ways because of it. I guess that brings me to a rule. Rule: Don't call someone struggling with mental illness crazy. If you thought they were crazy before you will know what real crazy is now. No one likes to be called crazy though so unless joking around I'd refrain from calling anyone crazy. Just seems like common courtesy you know.

This is going to be a little dark so advert your eyes if you can not handle it. As someone who has attempted to take her life on multiple occasions I have finally came to one sad truth and conclusion. I will always WANT to disappear and die. However finally seeing and noticing I will always feel this way I could finally move forward with my life. I was no longer stuck in this void this depression. I am going out and doing things I've never done before. I found solace in my old friend and began writing again. I enjoy seeing words on a screen but more on paper. I can take a deep breath and dream again. I was not able to do in so long cause all I could ever do was want to die. So the sad truth is its ok to want to die but don't act upon this want. I've lost friends to this sad truth because they believe that a majority of us can live like they do. We can not though we're different embrace that and remember its ok to feel how you feel.

Before getting into the next sad truth I wanted to tell you about an experience I had. This is more like a side story but it has a lesson that could be valuable to my next point. When I was in group one day I had noticed that a lot of what the therapists said was a contradiction. She told one girl all in one sentence that, " Your friend shouldn't always burden you with her problems but should listen to yours." Now if this wasn't the biggest bit of nonsense I've ever heard. She basically says unburden yourself on others but don't let them do it to you. That makes for a very unfair world right. I chuckled in my head when I heard this. I came to my very own conclusion that day. If you want to get things off your chest to someone then be prepared for them to do it to you. One way relationships do not work even just friendships.

Finally my next point everyone got problems or pain or demons. That's the sad truth. These are our sad truths. Everyone forgets these facts so do yourself a favor and stay open and honest. You could start a chain of events you didn't even know you could. So be careful always in what you say or how you say it. I have many more sad truths about life but responsibilities are calling me and I will talk to you all some more about this later. Have a good day all.