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The Pressure of New Year

It can take a toll on your mental health.

By Alicia BrunskillPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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After Christmas and surrounding New Year there’s a pressure to change your life, make resolutions, chart the progress you’ve made, celebrate the passing of the past year and welcome the new one. It’s in the media, supermarkets, the high-street, colleagues, family and friends are full of it.

Just because it’s a new year, it doesn’t mean it’s the right time for everyone to do these things. Our lives don’t all move at the same pace and for some people this isn’t the happiest time of year. For some, simply surviving this time of year might be the goal so adding pressure to make big life changes hardly seems helpful.

Whether you have a mental health condition or not, we all have mental health. Not listening to ourselves about what’s right for each of us at this time of year can put a strain on our mental health in the same way as eating too much fatty food puts a strain on our physical health. I’m not a medical expert, I’ll never pretend to be. I live with depression and anxiety and have drawn on my experiences of my illnesses and this time of year to bring you this piece.

If it doesn’t feel like the right time of year for you to set goals and make changes, then have a read of the ideas below about what this time of year can be instead.

What This Time of Year DOESN’T Have to Be About:

This time of year doesn’t have to be about:

  • Progress
  • Judgement
  • Resolutions / goal setting
  • Making big changes (nutrition, job, career goals etc.)
  • What’s wrong in your life / what needs fixing
  • Going out to celebrate
  • Celebrating
  • Staying up until midnight on NYE
  • Visiting people
  • Reflecting on your life
  • Justifying why you don’t do any of the above
  • Feeling guilty for not doing any of the above

It’s your life and you know what you need better than anyone. Of course, I’m not saying don’t go out or set resolutions but rather give yourself permission not to if it’s not the right time.

What This Time of Year CAN Be About Instead"

Instead of forcing yourself to conform to outside expectations or going with the flow, this year can be about:

  • Acceptance—accepting where you are in life, what’s happened, who’s in your life. No judgement, just acceptance.
  • What you like about your life right now, no matter how small.
  • Something you’re proud of / you’ve overcome / survived (you might say, "Despite X, I’m still here’).
  • If you can take some time off work it can be a time to relax and not put pressure on yourself to achieve anything. Allow yourself to do what you feel like doing without judgment or guilt (harder than it sounds, I know…). If you find yourself judging yourself or feeling guilty try to remember (and maybe tell yourself if that works for you) that you are allowed to have fun and are worthy of this time without having to earn it.
  • Treating yourself—it doesn’t have to be big or expensive. It could be a warm bath, a hot drink and a film, a duvet fort, a dog walk or cooking your favourite dish for example.
  • Spending time alone.
  • Spending time with your favourite people in small gatherings.
  • Disconnection from people, media, social media, internet etc.
  • Sticking to your routine—if this is what makes you feel good, don’t give it up!
  • Hibernating—waiting for this time of year to pass if you don’t enjoy it or just prefer to snuggle when it’s colder. There is no obligation to take part if it makes you feel bad, but hunkering down for a couple of weeks avoids a dip.
  • Stability—keeping life as close to how it is outside this time of year as possible.

Reflection can be personal.

There’s a pressure for any reflection you do about your life around the new year to be shared with almost everyone you meet but, if you do choose to reflect on things at this time of year, remember:

  • You don’t have to share your reflections with everyone.
  • You don’t have to make resolutions based on your reflections—no matter how many times people ask.
  • If you don’t make them, you don’t have to justify why you don’t have resolutions.
  • You can decide when it’s most appropriate to you to set or assess goals in your life and if New Year isn’t it, so be it. Reflecting on the past year doesn’t mean you have to change anything.
  • Reflection is personal and can be done in your own way. You might prefer to write a poem/story, paint, draw, create a video, dance, meditate, contemplate quietly/in silence, take a walk listening to nature, spend time with a pet/loved one etc., to express your reflections. Not everybody processes thought in the same way.

Do it your way.

Pixabay

Essentially, this time of year can be about whatever you want. We are led to believe that we have to celebrate and act a certain way, yet there are changes that we can make to personalise the new year and the surrounding days to relieve the pressure. What you choose to do doesn’t have to be what everyone else is doing, it doesn’t have to be planned and it can be what’s best for you.

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About the Creator

Alicia Brunskill

Alicia writes about her experiences with anxiety and depression, teaching and learning languages, education and cats. She also shares her poetry and fiction from time to time.

Find her on Twitter: @aliciabrunskill

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