The Introverted Business Owner

The introverted business woman.I am an introvert. More than that I have social anxiety and sensory processing disorder, all of which go hand in hand. My social battery gets drained very quickly and the stimulation of crowds causes sensory over load.

Try being an adult and having to explain that you are experiencing sensory over load. You will get the strangest looks from people that just don’t understand.

I am also a business owner. I love art and creating. I love seeing other people enjoy my art or the food that I make. I love using my skills to help those in need, so, I started Rebel Heart Designs.

Rebel Heart is the name of my store front on Shopify. I had been designing cute images for a long time but they were just accumulating in my storage boxes. I wanted to do something with them but that’s where the being an introvert and having social anxiety come in to play.

The idea of having to advertise my work terrified me. Advertising would put me into unavoidable social interactions, even if it was just online. Then came the thought of being one of THOSE people.

You know the type. I think we all have at least one on our social media. I know I have several.

I’m talking about the type of person whose name pops up on your time line and you don’t even have to read the post to know what they are talking about. Every single post is them trying to sell something or offering some new deal. They post pictures of all these testimonials from other people but never themselves and brag about the perks and all the great things they get from their multi level marketing scheme, or they constantly do live videos of them making what ever it is that they sell.

Most people just scroll by, some people comment that they are interested but never follow through, but I think at some point we all get annoyed.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and I am so very happy for them. I even attempted to join one of their MLM businesses. I wanted the same success, I wanted the financial security but… I couldn’t do it.

I couldn’t commit to the advertising, I couldn’t cold message people to try to get them to join and I definitely couldn’t do the zoom meetings and conferences.

 I never wanted to be one of those people. I don’t want to be one of those annoying people that does nothing but advertise what they sell, which only made my anxiety of starting a business worse.

How am I supposed to advertise my business without being annoying or becoming over whelmed by the required social interaction?

Then it hit me.

I was letting my “issues” control me. I was letting anxiety and fear stagnate my life and prevent me from moving forward in my life. I wanted to feel accomplished and in order to do that I had to break out of my prison and stop letting my life be defined by what I thought I couldn’t do.

** * **

Recently we had the gender reveal party for our final baby. Originally I thought the only people that would be in attendance were family. While I still feel drained at the end of the day, I was comfortable around my family and despite the “crowd” I knew I could handle it. 

The closer it came to the date I realized that my husband, who is the literal opposite of myself had invited a lot more people than I originally thought.

Just hearing that there was going to be 30+ attendees had me feeling extremely overwhelmed and stressed. I caught myself trying to not cry, I was irritable and we ended up fighting the day before. What made it worse is that I knew I had to smile and pretend that everything was okay. I’m sure I can guess what everyone is thinking…

He should have been more understanding and talked to me before inviting so many extras…

While you may be right, my husband was raised by old men from the “suck it up buttercup” generation. Mental illness isn’t recognized let alone accommodated. I knew how his family raised him and I accept him the way he is. I have also seen the damage it has done to him but that is a story for another day.

** * **

At the party I stuck to close to people that helped to keep me calm and at peace. I took breaks from socializing to recharge my battery and I survived. I was exhausted, but I was okay.

That party made me realize that I would be okay. I knew that if I could get passed the first step and start my business that I could do it. I knew that I would have to take break from socializing and advertising. I knew that there would likely be more days that I would feel drained and discouraged but if I pushed through I could do it.

I could move forward.

I could help my family get to a place we need to be.

I could help us achieve financial security and most importantly, I could prove to myself that my mental illnesses did not define me nor did they hold chains on my life.

** * **

Don’t let mental illness be the defining point of your life. Take your life back and see where your wings let you fly.Authors Note: As always, thanks so much to all my amazing readers. Talking about my mental health has always been a real struggle for me. I have never wanted to be a bourdon or make others feel like they needed to walk on egg shells around me. Starting my small business was a real turning point for me. I encourage all my readers to support small businesses every chance you get.

If you feel the pull to support my small business you can browse my store at the link bellow

I always offer sales and profits from my store go, not only to my family, but to various non profits and the care of our foster animals.

For the next three months sales go towards the transportation costs and vet care of adopted horses.

We will also be supporting Kennedy’s Angel Gowns from the sales of all of our mother's day and fathers day items.

Author's Note: As always thank you so much for taking the time to read. I hope next time you are looking for a gift or just something for yourself, you choose to support a small business owner. Who knows... you may end up supporting an introvert like me.