The importance of being conscious by Reuben Otorepec

Conscious. Conscience. Consciousness. Sub conscience. Subconscious. Subconsciousness.

conscious

/ˈkɒnʃəs/

adjective

1.

aware of and responding to one's surroundings.

"Although I was in pain, I was conscious"

2.

having knowledge of something.

"We are conscious of the extent of the problem"

This is not a morbid referral to our ability to recognise one’s wide-awakeness, nor the obscure recognition of a boxing match loser, more an insight to how we appear present, true and aware within our lives.

Too often we find ourselves preoccupied and drawn from our resting state of contentment into this world of unravelling chaos. It is only when we cherish what little time is devoted to oneself that we begin to recognise our presence within our and other’s lives. Often, we become natural consumption of those around us doth be aware of this until our worlds appear to come crashing down.

Awareness is, very much, sense paired with the upmost level of instinct. If we did not act on instinct, how could we ever get by. The realistic answer is that we simply would not. How must one make any decision, grand or miniscule, if not incorporating instinct. It is simply inhumane for us to ignore the upmost dictatorship which instinct imposes upon our decision making. If one lacks impulse, they will instinctively take the back seat, if one possesses too great an impulse, they will be rash. My point being that, to recognise one’s consciousness, we must slave to our instinct.

I firmly believe that we are all capable of appearing present, but our mental blockade diverts us from such consciousness in a way which many shut the door on it. An aspect of this stems from our upmost denial of recognising vulnerability. It is a challenging matter. For one to be vulnerable they must have something to lose. Or do they?

We often tell ourselves that we have something to lose but, how true is this? An easy way to combat our shallow, single minded, arrogant, misjudgement of our plate is to simply retrace its roots and picture the industrial factory it, and millions of others, were manufactured. One in eight billion, we do not have a lot on our plates. Empty your gubbins into the bin and swallow your pride. Vulnerability is a sign of strength rather than weakness which we are oblivious to until we gain a level of consciousness. Vulnerability allows us to be true to ourselves, placing all our cards face up on the table. What an obnoxiously contradictory thing to say. The truth is, whilst we may not have a plate-full, we do have cards or, more familiarly referred to, emotions. Let your emotions run free to be vulnerable. Be conscious of this decision and do not hesitate. Be present with your mind amongst the chaos. And most importantly drop that f*cking ego.

Our egos interfere with every aspect of our lives and for what? So, we can be viewed as desirable? Or admirable? Or noble? If anything. we seek the validation of others whilst thinking we’re so clued up with what’s going on around us. In reality, we haven’t a clue. Our deceptive kindness and recognition to and frow each other leaves us utterly and totally blindsided in a bid for consciousness. We enter social situations, ego fuelled, trying to establish a supernatural moral high ground so we what, feel good about ourselves? Taking away from these pretentiously, douche-baggy, ingenuine interactions, we do not achieve any level of consciousness, only a temporary wave of clarity when our dense minds are disengaged from our mountainous ego’s. We hold onto small things to make ourselves feel better and elude from the shallow reality of our concerning mental situations. Harsh but true and needing to be expressed in a way which explores the uncomplex, one dimensional trap which fuels one’s ego. We have reached a state where genuineness is unheard of as we fixate on the need to fuel our ego’s by worrying whether we react appropriately to pathetically shallow interactions.

Who? What? Clarity is like a drug. High from clarity? Count me in. In a bid to seek mental clarity, it often requires a significant event to take place. Why? Because it is only once an outcome has been reached WHEN we are aware enough to realise the reality of a situation. In a bid for clarity, one mustn’t confuse this with instinct. Clarity and instinct, in a way, act as opposites within our retched brains. Instinctively we will act upon our impulses rather than seeking the who’s, what’s, when’s and why’s. How? How can we possibly fall into the comfort trap when our minds are so adeptly constructed to do things such as problem solving and dd…decision making? There is no right and wrong when choosing between clarity and instinct as both are entirely present when we undergo any form of thought process. Pairing instinct with clarity is like drinking at the pub, we never do one without the other and in the midst, in this chaotic scenario finding consciousness can be seen as the sloppy kebab which you crave before going home. Clarity frees the mind and sets aside any mental squabble. It is simply just you, alone with thought. This is one step closer to consciousness.

A frequently occurring question in the bid to becoming conscious is ‘How do I let go?’. The suppressing of our emotions is often one to blame. In the, seemingly impossible, bid to find consciousness we must recognise our feelings. For example, you must be able to feel your emotions. This accounts for a multidimensional approach such as cries of joy or silence in defeat. We must explore each way of which we are able to express this powerful, raw emotion. We must allow our emotions to be fluid rather than focusing on association. Associative emotions are a dangerously powerful deceptive tool within our complex minds. Associative emotions, not only, result in fixation but can become obsessive and, ultimately, unhealthy. When we fixate and allocate experiences or people to emotions it only draws us further from our ultimate conscience. We must experience a range of emotions, no matter how bizarre given a situation. Don’t let suppressed emotions linger in our minds. It is only once we face such feelings that one can possess the ability to reach total confinement and contentment within their mind.

Now we have reached an indefinite lull in the process of seeking our undeniable goal of consciousness. It feels as if we’re on a never-ending path to reach such a desirable goal that we’re almost no better than the battered and bruised, shaded, mind bogglingly awful deceptive mental statures which I have previously mentioned in this composition of undeniably, brain-altering, poet-like infrastructure. I feel the only thing keeping me from digging deeper into this never-ending surge of psychological depiction is the human ability to relate this process to real life. This is something which encapsulates us, provides familiarity and almost guides us along the way.

Relating to real life is like learning a skill as simple as throwing and catching a ball. Once we can do it, we become obsessed, fixated, occupied and focused on the continuity of our practice regarding such skill. The more we can relate to real life scenarios, the more conscious we become. Perceptions shift, our minds discontinue to head astray, and we finally get one step closer to the end goal. However, the notable thing amongst all of this is the process. If we cannot focus on living through the process, how on earth will we be able to fully experience the end goal.

The aim is to ride it like a wave, through ups and downs, each wrong leading to a right, the next moment being better than the last, reaching the point where you can throw that ball with infinite power and precision. It is only then that you are prepared to pitch that ball towards the batter with full confidence that it will result in a strike. I seemingly seamlessly integrate real life scenarios into writing, but this comes from experience and practice. This comes from time spent, removing the emotional suppressor and allowing my brain to fire off no matter how loud or quiet. This comes from facing fears, transforming them into motivation and evolving this into discipline. This comes from tears flooding, cries screeching, gasps echoing, cheers bellowing. This comes from me, myself being conscious, A conscious ability to place emphasis on its sole importance for not only me but you. This comes from my recognition of inclusivity within the process and a burning desire to help you. This comes from an arrogant, single minded, selfish world and transforming it into ever-growing selflessness. This comes from the ability to feel emotions in a way I have not felt them, love people in ways I have never loved, smile more than I have ever smiled but, more importantly, cry as if I’ve never cried, feel emotion as it hits me in the face, be betrayed, let down, forgive and be forgiven.

I feel as though insightfulness is another tool, crucial to staying on track and avoiding too many wrong turns. It is important to recognise when you are losing yourself. Others may not recognise it for you, leaving you stranded, stuck in the mud which is your mind and often unsure as to how you wish to continue. Remember to be aware, appear present allow yourself to be vulnerable, set aside your ego, find the clarity, trust your instinct, experience your emotions, relate to real life, and become conscious. Practice this process, master it, and adapt it as you wish. Purpose closely follows once you have become conscious. Purpose leads to opportunities, creating a cycle of consciously purposeful opportunity. Once you unlock one, it leads to another. Once again, don’t waste this skill once you have mastered it. Don’t go against your morals and selfishly abuse it. If former habits creep in, be present in recognising their imposing danger, take care of it. Ultimately, fall in love with the process and consciously feel yourself transform into this unrecognisable, powerful, mindful mental state.

Life for me is all about taking opportunities, not wasting chances and finding a purpose, however it may differ for you or the next person. We all share different goals and experience our own unique, exciting journeys to accomplish them and find our forte. Now I have found mine, let me know how it goes in the bid to find yours.

Written by Reuben Otorepec, Undergraduate Student of Bournemouth University