The Gift

“You aren’t a frequent flyer are you huh?”

The words startled Alec out of his fear-induced reverie. He whipped his head around and looked over at the person sitting beside him who had spoken the words. These were the first words that the girl had spoken to him the entire flight. She was a girl. She could not be older than nineteen. Probably off to do a gap year. If I had to do it again, I would have done mine in Munich too. She was cute as a button, she reminded him of his daughter Charlotte. Except for the pink hair. Kids these days and their teenage rebellion. She smiled at him, a sad rueful thing.

“You do know that statistically there have been no airplane crashes that have been directly caused by turbulence? You should try to relax.” Her smile was disarming as she pointed at his white-knuckled hands, currently gripping his armrests. He laughed hollowly.

“Yeah, you got me. I think I have been on a plane maybe ten times in my entire life and I hate it every time.” He cracked a wan smile at the pink-haired girl in the dark clothes. “Somehow those stats don’t seem to reassure me. What’s your secret?”

She tilted her head, the sunlight filtering through the window giving her light brown eyes a golden tint.

“I have been flying my whole life. It’s second nature to me. It's so beautiful up here.” With that, she turned back to the window and stared out at the vast expanse, uncaring of the constant turbulence.

Alec sighed and looked ahead. I can’t believe Max has me flying halfway around the world for this. Could they not have gotten married back in New York? But Max and Liza wanted to get married in Munich, where her family was from and where they intended on making a living. Max had never told him that explicitly, but Alex knew his son. He has never been good about keeping a secret.

The plane bobbed and shook, eliciting a few screams and wails from the hundreds of babies that seemed to have been smuggled aboard. His stomach clenched and rolled with the movement of the plane. God this is unbearable. They had left New York several hours ago and the takeoff had been pretty smooth. Alec had enjoyed the meal the flight attendants had given out. For airplane fare, it was pretty decent. Usually, he would distract himself by chatting up the person next to him but from the moment the pink-haired girl sat down, she put on her headphones and closed her eyes. So Alec had been stuck watching this strange german movie that the old woman in front of him, who refused to push her seat back up despite the repeated instructions to do so by the frazzled flight attendant, had put on. He had reluctantly been engrossed in the movie when the turbulence first hit.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. We are now crossing a zone of turbulence. Please return your seats and keep your seat belts fastened. Thank you.”

Those words had chilled Alec to the core. Max had tried to explain to him many times how turbulence wasn’t even really an issue to pilots but more of a minor inconvenience, but it didn’t help. So now Alec found himself trying not to grind his teeth and hold onto his seat in fear, as the passenger next to him staring out the window, perfectly at peace. I just want to get to my son’s wedding so that I can hurry back to my cozy brownstone. Charlotte had made the trip over the week earlier, she and her boyfriend had wanted to spend some time in Paris before the wedding. And his youngest son, Alexander, had come up with her to spend some time with his older brother. Alec grimaced as another jolt ran through the plane. Please God I just want this to end. A glint of gold caught his eye. He turned slightly and saw the girl flipping a small gold coin again and again, seemingly enraptured by the repetitive movement. The gold of the coin was reflected in her own golden-brown eyes. He stretched out his hand to tap her on the shoulder but she turned before he could do so and just stared at him, the coin still being flipped and caught in the opposite hand.

“Uhmm sorry I’m Alec. Why are you going to Munich?” She continued looking at him impassively, her eyes seeming to take the measure of him. Time seemed to stretch and Alec felt like his hand had been outstretched for hours. Finally, she spoke.

“I have a gift to deliver. My name is Elle.” She has a beautiful voice. I wonder if she sings.

“That sounds nice. I thought that you would be going on a gap-year or something. My daughter is considering doing one. I’m going for my oldest’s son’s wedding.” She smiled that sad smile that she seemed to always have and continued flipping her coin.

“How many children do you have?”

“There is the oldest, Max who is the one getting married, and then there is Charlotte. She wants to be an artist, no matter how many times I tell her there is no money in it. And then there is Alexander, the baby of the family.” He smiled wistfully. I can’t wait to see them. “What about you, Elle? Do you have any siblings?” She nodded her head.

“Yep, there are seven of us. You could say I’m the youngest.” Seven? Jesus her parents were busy.

“Seven? Ouch, that sounds like a packed house. I’m guessing you guys fought a lot. My kids tend to fight quite a bit.” The plane bucked and rolled again. Elle looked back out the window, eyes narrowed.

“We never fought. We agreed with everything. Until that one time.”

“I know what that’s like. My brother and I got into many fights like that. I’m sure you guys will patch it up. What did you guys fight about?” She turned to look at him, eyes shining.

“Our Father was never around. My brother took exception to that fact.” Alec nodded his head sagely.

“Absentee fathers are hard on their kids. I can understand why your brother acted the way he did. Do you miss him?” Elle looked at him, the war her emotions were fighting, plain across her face. She opened her mouth as if to answer, but then closed it and turned back to her window, conversation clearly over. Alec shrugged and turned back to the strange german film. Touchy. Nobody wants to be sharing that much information with a stranger. Still, I feel bad for her. No child should have to deal with the loss of a parent so early on. He sighed and tried to ignore the constant fluctuations in turbulence. If I never fly again it will be too soon.

The plane shook suddenly. It felt as if a giant hand had flung it spinning out of the sky. The screeching of metal and the sound of the wind buffeting the plane drowned all other sounds. What the hell? Alec gripped his armrests as hard as he could. All around him he could see the same looks of panic and terror on all the passengers and the flight attendants. The babies and even the young children were screaming. The breathing masks dropped down from the roof. This is really happening.

"Attention, this is your pilot speaking. Please remain calm. We are currently experiencing some mechanical difficulties and we are doing our best to have them fixed. Please ensure that all flight attendants and passengers are fastened into their seats and place the breathing masks on your own faces first before helping somebody else. Please remain calm." Those words were repeated again and again. Tears welled in his eyes. This cannot be happening. This has got to be some sick joke. The plane seemed to bank and swerve again, the constant movements serving to further disorient the passengers. The sounds of vomiting echoing throughout the plane. Alec grabbed his mask, struggling with the band. Where does this even fucking go on? I can't die here. Why won't they help? He breathed deeply from the cool air, calming him for a moment. The plane dipped, seeming to dive and so went with it, the contents of the rest of the passengers' stomachs spilling out on the seats in front of them. This is really it. This is how I die. Max. Charlotte. Alex. I'm leaving them, just like Alice did. Alec felt his world spinning out of control, the faces around him becoming a blur. He could feel his vision losing its sharpness, faint pinpricks of light developing at the corners of his eyes. His stomach kept dropping. Alec wanted to scream but no sound escaped his lips, his breath serving just to fog up the mask. He closed his eyes. I just wish I had more time.

Alec felt the plane stop dropping, the turbulence no longer seeming to affect their plummeting aircraft. He could hear no sounds anymore, not even the screeching children. Am I dead? He opened one eye cautiously, peering down the aisle. Everything was frozen in place. The passengers, in a grotesque tableau of fear and horror. The various luggage that had gone flying in the air with the plane’s descent. There were some passengers even floating in midair, clearly having disobeyed the rule to have their seatbelt always buckled. Even liquids were motionless, floating above his head. What is going on?

“Alec.” That voice. I know it. He turned towards the pink-haired girl beside him. Elle. Her ubiquitous gold coin floating in midair as well.

“Did you do this? How?”

“I just wanted to talk to you.”

“How can you be so calm? the plane is going to crash. We’re all going to die.”

“I know Alec. That is why I’m here. I told you I was here to deliver a gift.”

“What are you talking about? What gift? Who are you?” Elle smiled faintly, a knowing smile.

“I told you, you can call me Elle. You know me. All of you do, when the time comes.” He narrowed his eyes in confusion. This world has gone crazy. What is going on? Alec looked closer at her, looked into those deep golden eyes, and saw what lay within. Light. Fire. Golden wings with grey feathers, that blotted out the sky. Too many limbs to count. He screamed and swooned. Darkness took him, his wings covering all.

He stirred slowly and opened his eyes, his vision still blurry. Elle was still sitting there looking at him, her gold coin still suspended in midair. He opened his mouth as if to speak.

She nodded sadly.

“So you do recognize me. I bring my gift, as I do for all things.”

“But now, there wasn’t enough time, there was so much else I was supposed to do. I have the wedding to still go to. Who will look after my kids? I’m too young to die.” She shook her head and laughed lightly.

“If you have an issue with Time, you should take it up with him. You will find my brother is not as conversational as I am. I cannot save you from Fate, she wrote your story eons ago. I am merely the shepherd.”

“How can you say that? How can you tear apart families the way you do? My children will never see their father again. I will never meet my grandchildren.” He waved, taking in the entire plane. “There are hundreds of people on this plane. Men, women, and children. Hundreds of lives snuffed out for what reason? What grand plan?” Elle raised a hand to her head, toying with a strand of her pink hair. Alec felt hot as if his skin was on fire. His head burned. What kind of God, tortures his children so? How could I ever believe in such a deity? He had never been much for religion, considering it a by-product of an archaic time and campfire superstition. That was always more Alice's realm. He never questioned when she would drag him and the kids to Saturday mass in their best clothes. It made her happy. Talking about her beliefs and how they all needed to be saved. Where was her god when that drunk driver took her life that fateful Saturday?

Elle reached out a hand, she was surprisingly cool to the touch. Alec felt his pulse slowing slightly.

"Do you presume to live forever? All things come to their allotted end. From the lowliest worm to the most ancient star. You are not the first person that has tried to plead with me when the end comes. Powerful men and poverty-stricken washerwomen have all tried to barter. Their children, their riches, even their very souls." She motioned with her other hand, indicating the cabin. "That mother of four over there is trying to offer me her husband's life in exchange for her own. The billionaire in First Class is offering me his entire fortune. You beg, you plead and you cry. Every single one of you, no matter self-assured you may be during your life, at the end of your life it is the same thing.” She sighed and looked at him. She looked old. It was the eyes. In them, Alec saw what it meant to be ageless. Endless. “Half a universe away, a star is dying, taking with it entire worlds that thrived with life. I am there as well, ushering and ferrying them along.”

“But why? Why must we die? Why do you get to live forever while our lives are always cut unfairly short?”

“I do not live forever, Alexander. I merely exist. Death cannot die, you and I both know that is a fallacy. I am merely a fundamental force that is necessary for this entire construct to function. No matter how extended your lifespans would be, they would still be short. I was old before the cosmos first existed and I will be when it has long since faded into ashes. Time has no sway over me and mine. His sphere of influence excludes us.”

“So what, are we supposed to just be fine with how things are? Roll over and play dead when you come calling? How is that fair? Why do we not have control over our own lives? You expect us to abide by your arbitrary rules. Tyrant gods, that's all you all are.” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“We are not gods. Those are beings of your own creation and imagination. You truly do not understand the gift that I bring. You are transient beings; living in this Creation at one moment and then at the next, taking a journey to the First Place, the birthplace of our Father. You mortals are the only beings to possess that right. The seven of us are bound to this Creation until it collapses all around us. And then we will be left, floating in Darkness as we did in the days of our birth. We will never know our Father’s grace or his touch. You alone will have that gift. Our Father has a plan for you after this existence, our role is to merely prepare you for the next step. Eternity is not a blessing, Alexander Crosas. We are nothing but instruments of our father's will. Why do you think my brother rebelled?" Tears were streaming down his face. How am I able to cry if time has stopped? Alec looked around and shook his head. Look at her sitting there as if she is merely explaining the plot of a movie to a child. Everywhere around him, the passengers were frozen in a tableau of fear, grief, and acceptance. He wondered how their conversations were going with Elle. Were any of them able to talk her out of killing them? No, she's not the one killing them. She said that already. She's merely the shepherd. And what was that stuff about her father and another creation? His confusion only served to add to his anger. He wanted to reach out with his hands and strangle her, in the hopes that her death would save him. But that was not what would happen. He knew this, just as he knew that not one passenger would have been able to talk their way out of this, let alone any person who had ever or will have existed in the future. She was unfathomable and relentless, dutiful to the end. Death really does come for all of us. They sat there in silence for what seemed like hours, lost in their thoughts. He turned back to her, growing more at ease with his inevitable end.

"You really do believe in what you do. "

"Belief is another one of your constructs. I am my function. As long as I am, I happen. I am necessary for the cosmos to function. That is not your question."

"You're right, it's not. This plan you're talking about, how are you so sure about it?" She looked at him for what seemed like hours, considering his question.

"Everything we are, everything we have done has been in service of the grand design. We know nothing outside of it. From when we first awoke under the watchful gaze of the Mother, we have spent our lives devoted to the execution of the grand design. Did you question the reality presented to you by your father when you were a child?"

"Always. We all did it when we were growing up. We don't just blindly accept things just because we were told something. Why haven't you asked him about it?"

"He does not speak to us. Not even my sister knows his mind. It is time for your journey however Alexander Crosas."

She raised a hand as if to grab the floating coin, and then hesitated. She paused, hand still outstretched, and looked back at over at him.

“When you see my Father, Alexander Crosas, can you tell him that I miss him?”

His heart broke and the last thought that Alexander Crosas of Toronto had, was that even Death misses her father when he is gone.