The gentle whisper of introverts

I would like to start this article penning down the name of the girl whose video caught my attention not long ago, while I was walking on my own, reconnecting with my inner self. Sofja Umarik. Her video was posted on the channel BBC IDEAS on January 29th this year. The video and the words were the main reason to start sharing my introvert path. Last but not least, her gentle voice along with her cute illustrations and all the graphics played a part in sparking my attention. I soaked it and I felt calm, relaxed and in a peaceful state of mind: it was like I was walking on something very soft, pretty much like the substance of clouds. I listened to the video three times in a row.

For the first time after a while, I was reconsidering a side of my nature I stopped to appreciate. While the article is taking shape, I am sitting on the couch submerged in the silence of the room, prickled from the typing of my fingers on the keyboard. The video that follows is Sofja's, which I am so glad to have framed in my article.

It has been now six years since I probably could consider myself to have changed, or better said, permeated with some of the experiences I've been through in Australia, the place where I am living with my partner at the moment. Back in time, the introversion wasn't my nature's trait that I was using to my advantage. I remember being quite scared, sceptical a hint of anger towards others. I could see many young guys and girls living bubbly as if the world was an adventurous playground: maybe they were different, they were just free from that heavy and foggy cloak that I was wearing like a second skin - I wish it was the same magic like Harry Potter's. There wasn't a day in which I didn't think that there might be something wrong with me: but when I came back to my cozy bedroom, my whole universe was waiting for me. On top of that, I believe I had an unprecedented level of shyness! Especially with guys: if I could have chosen a magic power, it would have been DISAPPEARING! ^_^. I am not saying that I was alone out there but, if I drag back my memories, I could say that I was like a tiny bud getting through the life at its own pace. A kind way to say that I was a little bit late.

Over time, with my enrolment at University, with some shady and disappointing friendship, new ones on the horizon and packed classrooms, I finally arose starting to give some glance at the real world. That type of world which the University is the initial allegory, where you were asked to survive at any cost. I did work, and by the beginning of the first semester, I became to enjoy some solo study sessions in the desert corridors of the University on the weekend; warm and almost nostalgic memories over the last summer period, where you were alone with your books, the sun reflected through the huge windows and the flapping rhythm of the air conditioning fans. Anyway, I was feeling in peace, at ease and for the first time I had found a place I'd rather spend some time than my room. Another trait of my quirky personality was an unconditional passion for books and as weird as it may sound, I always got mesmerised by the smell of their pages: my special friends, gateways to magical places.

With the years passing by, I started fell, smell and experienced more the outdoor surroundings, giving myself the chance to see the true colours: said that though I admit I sometimes caught my self, pretending to be someone I wasn't, adjusting the way I looked, changing my attitude, my dress code, makeup, in the attempt to shake off that older, dusty cloak. It was quite tricky and yet resourceful at at the same time, because I was getting a grip of what my balance was standing: I wanted and I needed to be different, but being still loyal to my principles. Somehow, I was realising that the time was right to give my self a go, being more self-aware and get to spread my 'real me'.

If I had to sum up my all youth, I wouldn't be too harsh on myself as I used to be; at my present time, at 36 years old I came to a simple conclusion that, along my life path, I couldn't have done otherwise. Despite the breeze of the older times comes back ever now and then, I balance up my background, my soundtrack volume of my playlist and with my smile I go ahead.