The Bird Coop

The Bird Coop

As I lay here on my deathbed. On my death bed? Are my final words as a writer going to be this cliché? Then again my entire life has been a cliché, even the fact that I call myself a writer and yet I was never published, I never even made the local papers. I knew I was good too, at least I think I was but they always told me writers need attention and our' family' doesn't need that, after all we don't write papers we just collect them . And I thought they said your life flashes before your eyes but the only thing I can picture is that stupid owl i saw in the barn when I was younger.

I tried to be accepted why couldn't they see, they said I was the one lost but how could they know when they were blinded by ambition, they say I lived meager but they are gluttonous, their morals clogged by the yearning for greed fueled expeditions. For family they said, such a poisonous word, I HATE that word. Almost as much as I hated that damn owl it just sat there, looking at me.

Mother was the only one that loved me, the only one that saw me. She listened to my pleas and she acknowledged my plight. She protected me she cared. She was nothing like those creatures, they only saw me as food, their meal ticket, they always looked like they were starving ready to devour me the moment I turned my back. That's why I kept my eyes on that barn owl it looked the same, it's been trapped in my dad's barn on the 'family' farm for a couple days at least since the last time they opened the barn to punish Uncle Grimco, they just left him in there. I liked my uncle he was kind to me but Dad always said he was too soft to be one of 'us'. He was alive when I last saw him now he just lays there on the dirt he looked so cold, but the owl never touched him it never ate him it just kept looking at me, it wanted me.

After Dad died I could see it, the vultures turned their beaks towards Mom but she was a different beast and they feared her, she kept them in check. She protected me. She trusted me. My brothers were idiots but I was smart, that's why she put me in charge of the 'family' money and they hated their allowances they felt they deserved more but that's only because they knew there was more, but mom hid it from them and kept them on a leash. She was domineering and she built and empire she dirtied her hands and bloodied her path it was cold and icy but her shadow warm and comforting. I was safe. I could see them plotting and so could she but they couldn't touch her because they always knew only she knew where the real wealth was hidden, only she knew the accounts only she knew where to find it.

Dead bodies stink trust me i know, but that day I couldn't smell my Uncle I was just so enthralled by that bird the more i looked the less fear I felt, those former feelings exchanged by something familiar. There was a familiar feeling that day too, like the day before Dads freak car accident, my younger brothers never came home just my older brother and he seemed so calm so triumphant so pleased. It scared me. That was the first time too, the first time i ever saw mom scared. After my brother left she came to me she said they knew but they wouldn't touch me she would make sure of it and she was sorry. Mom never apologizes.

When i woke up the next morning i found her, sitting there in her office chair gun in hand, and the last of her life dried to her face and stuck to the wall. I was alone. The vultures smiled, they circled with content stuffed by misdeeds their beaks wet with noble blood as avarice keeps them afloat. They were sure that I the weakest was the only one left who knew where the accounts book was. I was trapped.

The owl was trapped too but it didn't look like it was trapped, I became lost in its eyes, I couldn't understood what I saw, mirrored images but mirrored of what, I couldn't understand. Weeks went by after mom died, I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't sleep I couldn't eat, I did what I knew, what Mom taught me I crunched numbers and I paid the monsters . Each day they gave me less to do, until they had everything, they controlled everything. Like I said though, they were idiots. A broken well a broken dam, the money flowed the same but it never stayed, the arrears grew but couldn't be paid. How would they fix it they said, if they had more than enough they said, then obviously, it could never be exhausted. Idiots. So they circled closer. They interrogated and they searched, they needed the accounts. They needed Moms black book. Then one day they found it, they looked there before but obviously they didn't look properly because now there it was hidden under her desk inside the secret compartment. I wasn't needed anymore.

Then there's this feeling again just like before, my oldest brother invited me over to his house. He never does. He offered me a drink. He was never kind. I took the offer, I looked at him and i smiled. Salut. I drank but he didn't. Then he smiled, so pleased so accomplished. That must have been some strong liquor, my vision started to blur. Go lay in the guest room he said he prepared it for me, he knew I couldn't handle my liquor he said, he always knew I was soft but he would look after me, after all, we're 'family'. So now here I am on my death bed the vultures picking at my bone consuming poisoned meat. Mom always loved me. She always trusted me and only me. I was always her black book the only place she trusted to keep her secrets. As for me I finally wrote my first book, I don't know if its Pulitzer worthy but its enough to get the idiots hooked. I left the bread crumbs, I left the book for them to find. Its nothing but numbers useless stupid numbers, fools gold for a bunch of stupid birds. I'm the only one that knew the real account numbers and they just killed their only hope. Mom thought I would be safe, I was the only one that knew, they would need me. She was protecting me. Sorry Mom but I hate this life I hate this cage and I hate this 'family'. They wont last the year without their money or power. The other families will burn them, eat them and absorb them. I'll see them in hell because 'family' has to stick together.

I don't know how much time passed since I started looking at that owl, Mom told me not to enter the barn so I had to leave. I had to ripped my eyes away and as soon as i opened the door I heard it. Powerful wings. Wings that were not reliant on the wind. I looked up and saw it, its beak untainted by rotten flesh, its gazed focused and unfaltering, feathers made more radiant by the Moon's glow. The Moon hugged and kissed the owl as if its light shined only for him. No longer a barn owl but free.