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The Art of Being Gentle with Yourself

by Rebecca Hawley 4 years ago in advice
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Seeing Beyond the Chaos of the Mind to the Inherent Strength Within

Throughout my journey with mental illness, what I have found to be a critical need in coming back into balance is something almost everyone on this planet has a problem with; gentleness. Gentleness with the thoughts and emotions that appear when a trigger button is pushed or just out of the blue, what do we mostly resort to in those moments? Fighting those thoughts and emotions, wanting to avoid them with distractions especially since they plague our minds so often and make us feel our absolute worst it's hard to remember what compassion is when in the depths of that pain.

For years I would suppress these thoughts and emotions, fight them with other more positive thoughts (which sorta works but there is only so much mental energy we have to spare when out of balance with an illness), and of course, I'd distract myself from the chaos within my head (oh lovely technology and media). None of these band-aid methods really fix the root problem for instead of fighting what is, which is the fact that we have a lot going on up there rather learning to allow the fear, shame, sadness, paranoia, and anger a place to simply be, not attaching to them as if they control over you (which for a while I believed for they ran my life and how I saw myself and others) for you have always had the power within you to see past the illusions that are the old tapes replaying in your mind. These twisted tapes are stories of a time of wounding and pain when you were a child or when you got older as they sat in your subconscious waiting for the right time to come out for healing that can manifest as mental illness.

Also, I've learned from my experience that choosing to see the higher perspective of your mental illness is key in being able to be gentle with those wounds as these truths can guide you out of the grip hold they can have when believing them. It is up to you to look within for your truth and discern what is the higher divine perspective and meaning of your situation. This way we can stop judging ourselves and our sacred journey and come into allowance with the pain of our inner child and other aspects of ourselves that were traumatized.

I'm going to share some tips on how I am learning to be gentle with myself when my mind and emotions are stirring nonstop like a hamster on a wheel.

  1. BREATHE and then breathe some more: It sounds so simple but its something we tend to forget especially when all our focus is on our emotions and thoughts, yet this is when we need to focus on breathing the most! If just breathing doesn't steer your focus from the mind chatter try visualizing the air as a white golden light (get creative with the colors with what feels best for you!) as it enters your heart and on the exhale it flows out all while focusing your attention on your heart space and breathe.
  2. Being the eagle in the sky by observing the thoughts and emotions as they pass within your mind and body: By observing I mean not giving fuel to the thoughts and emotions by just witnessing them as they are, not trying to change them or get rid of them as fast as possible (that just creates more of what you don't want because it triggers more disharmonious emotions and thoughts). A visualization technique could be imagining your mind as the sky with clouds being the thoughts, allow them to pass instead of holding onto them by believing in the story it is replaying. For you are so soo much more than those painful memories, experiences, and childhood conditioning that made you believe you were this or that. It's time for you to decide who you truly are (hint: one way to discover it is when connecting with your heart) I have also found by connecting with the energy of your heart consistently aids in balancing the mind, trauma, and conditioning. So fly high with the birds and insects for you were made to fly above "limitations" and have always had the power within to break those chains.
  3. Rub your head: When a child is distressed the mother may slowly rub their child's head telling them everything is okay allowing them to feel what they are feeling and comforting them with presence, love, and gentleness, do the same for yourself! You have been through some difficult times in your life where you and others maybe weren't able to support you in the way you needed and you didn't have the tools and understanding that you have now. Have compassion for those erratic thoughts and painful emotions by rubbing that beautiful head of yours!

Being gentle, accepting, and loving of yourself is a moment to moment everyday process, one that is hard for me still, but by standing in my truth and choosing to love myself by not allowing myself to keep believing in the stories of the mind that control you if you let it. For as I have come to understand our mind is a tool, which for too many runs on the negative and the past which then forms how you see your future, but it doesn't have to be that way. Become a conscious, aware participant in bringing all that has been fragmented within your psyche back into the infinity that you are underneath it all.

You have the power within to heal yourself and please my friend don't give in to the cultural conditioning labeling you as this or that for in truth they just don't understand and are fearful of their own mental chaos, which we all have to some degree whether it be insecurities to racing thoughts to a diagnosis of mental illness. Try to see the blessings within all the good and bad that has happened to you for what is the lesson within them that can guide you to your truth to learning more about your sacred purpose for being here.

Thank you for all that you are (also many thanks for reading this super long post!) and for being on this planet at this incredible time of transformation you are deeply needed I pray that this serves your highest good and I am honored to be of service to you and your sacred path!!!!!

P.S. Look into self-help books and videos to help with understanding your sacred illness and alternative ways to return to wholeness (These people have helped me a lot on my path and maybe they are a good match for you: Eckhart Tolle, Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche, Alberto Villoldo and Teal Swan). Many blessings to you dear sisters and brothers.

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Rebecca Hawley

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