The Anxious Elephant in the Room

Congratulations, America, we have created the land of the free and the home of the anxious. Over 40 million Americans, ages 18 and older, suffer from the most diagnosed mental health illness, Anxiety. Why are we just accepting this? Why are we allowing this to happen? We allow this, we accept this because we think it is normal. Anxiety is an illness caused by many factors like genetics and disease. However, it is also caused by environment, trauma, and upbringing. I know being "stressed" and having anxiety are not the same thing. However, being stressed, experiencing regular stress can lead to Anxiety.

Why does America want us to be stressed? Being stressed sells. It sells Alcohol, Prescription Drugs, Recreational Drugs, Illegal Drugs, Cigarettes, Fast Food, Chocolate, and even vacations. The act of shopping can be a coping mechanism for stress. Our society wants us stressed. We are told, at an early age, that we must work at least 40 hours a week until we are old. We are told to work work work and buy buy buy.

So, why are we stressed? Hmm, let me count the ways.

One, we are overworked. I love my job. I don't even mind the commute. Until the pandemic hit, I didn't realize how much healthier I was when I worked from home. Let me explain. I have a desk job working for a Not-for-profit. I commute one hour each way, Monday through Friday. On a normal day, I wake up at 5:30 am, so I can make sure I'm awake for my commute (I don't like falling asleep at the wheel). I have all the good intentions in the world to work out or go for a run, but I'm exhausted, and I sit in my chair drinking coffee, scrolling through my phone until it is time to shower and clothe myself. Now I usually stop and get more coffee (again, I don't enjoy fighting with my eyelids while driving) and a breakfast sandwich. I work 8 hours and drive home. When I get home, I'm exhausted. I have all the good intentions in the world to work out or go for a run. Of course, there is dinner to worry about, I want to spend time with my wife and child, I have chores, and then it is bedtime. Repeat. I'm not complaining. I have a good-paying job that lets me be flexible and allows me time with my family. This is my point. This is an excellent job. A Monday through Friday professional job. I still struggle to balance my life.

Now, when I worked from home during the pandemic (only 2 or 3 days a week). I slept longer. I ate better. I exercised more. I got more work done. I was more productive. I spent more time with my family. I got my chores done. I. FELT. BETTER. I was able to do everything I needed to do, and I felt great. Yet, I felt guilty. At some point in my life, I was told that working from home was wrong, that people will think you are not working or that you are lazy. This will affect your ability to be promoted or get a raise. Why? Why do healthy choices make us feel bad or difficult to achieve? I will get to that.

I'm lucky. I'm not normally stressed or suffer from Anxiety. I, however, can empathize with those who do. What if you had to work two jobs, or three, just to make ends meet? Families barely see each other, especially when both parents work or there is only one parent to make money.

How many times have you heard people criticized someone for not working, or not having a decent work ethic? I hear it daily. When did work define a person? Why should it? We need to work, I get it, but not the way we are going about it. I'm not going to bore you with the history of why we work the way we do. However, we got here not with the best intentions. Ask minorities, women, and children. Maybe some good will come out of this pandemic and our society will allow us to work and maintain our health, even allow more time with our Family.

Two, we are constantly told what a "good" or "perfect" or "expected" life looks like and if we don't achieve it, we failed. Let's see if I can explain how we are supposed to live in America based on commercials, ads, television, and movies. We need to be white, straight, married, Christian, college-educated, have at least two children, and a couple of pets. We need to live in a big house in the suburbs with a nice yard and a grill and/or a pool in the backyard. Furthermore, we should eat steaks and burgers, drink beer and wine, and have gatherings. Every summer, we should be taking a vacation. Television, social media, movies are staples in our lives. Smartphones (why even call them phones anymore) are necessary, oh and a tablet and laptop for all. We eat dinner together in our dining rooms with a table full of food that Mom cooked, or we order in. We should always be smiling and accomplishing things. Our children need to be successful starting when they first babble their first syllables or how fast they crawl and walk. Our clothes need to be stylish; our hair needs to be perfect. Nails shaped and polished for the women. Oh, don't forget about the shoes and the purses!! Beards are in, Beards are out, stubble is now in!! Now you must have a tattoo expressing your inner spirit, your loved one, or something you just like a whole damn lot. So, I have only touched the surface. It is definitely more stressful for women, especially poor or single-parent women.

Three, we aren't healthy, and we love drugs. Instead of creating healthier environments, we just find a drug to fix it, and then we need another drug to help with the side effects of the first drug. So on and so on. Think about how many preventable ailments and diseases Americans suffer from that we just prescribe a drug for. This is on purpose. Do you know why drugs are pushed instead of healthy lifestyles? Money. Healthy lifestyles would mean that Americans wouldn't need doctors, prescriptions, surgeries, or procedures. Don't get me started on Insurance companies. Getting healthy and maintaining a healthy lifestyle is difficult in this society, on purpose. How many of us try and fail? Time, money and energy are commodities some of us just don't have. Convenience and low-cost drive us.

Four, Capitalism. Capitalism is all about profit, no matter what. They cause the disease, so they can be rich so someone else can cure or treat the disease, so they can be rich. Create criminals so others can profit by jailing them. Go to war, so others can profit. The American Dream is a lie. Is it possible? Sure. Just like, it is possible, that I may be a well-known author someday. Here is the kicker. Capitalism requires a lot of us to be poor and much of the rest of us be middle class. There cannot be wealth without poverty. However, we aren't told this. We are told if we aren't successful, it is our fault. We didn't work or try hard enough.

Advertisements are made knowing how easy it is to manipulate you into buying something you don't need or ingesting food you shouldn't eat, etc. We are controlled. How many of us eat like crap then bust our ass on the newest diet fad only to regain the weight. Then, we try a new fad or the same one again and fail. Then we join a gym that takes money away from us monthly, even when we stop going in the middle of February. (This is when our New Year's resolutions die). We are just rats in a maze controlled by the wealthy and politicians.

Lastly, FOMO (Fear of missing out). We are told we must have that. We are told you need to get married. You must have kids! Check out the party we are at. Hey guys, just wanted to say hi from Australia! Hey, look at our new pool!! Look at all the friends I have. BEST NIGHT EVER!!! Did you catch the latest movie, TikTok, Tweet, Book, Television show, or meme? You have to see it! Oh, this food/recipe is remarkable! This gadget is a must-have that changed my life.

This society keeps us alive as long as they can, feeling stressed and anxious for most of it, so we can buy more shit. We are also told that we live in the best place on earth. I am not denying our country is far better than most countries, but we are far from the best. Throughout our youth and our adulthood, we are told that we cannot criticize our country, or we are not patriotic. Hell, if you kneel at the flag, you are ostracized.

We feel bad. We are tired. Furthermore, we work hard at achieving things, others have told us we must. Women have to choose to work or stay home with their children. Men do too, but let's not pretend this is not usually put on the women in our society. One income just does not cut it anymore, not if you want everything above. So as a woman, if you choose to work, you feel guilty for leaving your child. If you choose to stay home, you feel guilty not working, for not being part of society, for missing out. Oh, and other women are your worst nightmare. "How can you leave your child? I couldn't" "How can you not work and have a life for yourself, modern women should be in the workforce?" I do not know how women survive.

In conclusion, America is stressed. This will slowly kill us, or at least make us waste precious time on this earth with the only life we get. Our brains are addicted to likes and views (Please share this article, so I can get more reads, please). We eat, not for sustenance, but for pleasure and to cope. We don't buy out of necessity, but because we must fit in. We are told to be healthy, but the cost of fresh and healthy food is expensive. Exercise takes time and sometimes costs money. We are told to cook but don't have the time. We are told to spend quality time with our family, but we work long hours, and we are exhausted. Marriages suffer because they can't be prioritized easily.

Stress is baked into our culture on purpose, so changing it will be hard. Again, I know other places on this earth, stress is something at a different level. However, this is where I live, and we need to start creating a better society. First, we as individuals need to be aware of the constant manipulation and truly figure out what we want, what we need, to be happy. Others shouldn't be dictating these things to you. Stop comparing yourself to others to gauge your happiness. Just be happy. Do what is needed to find happiness that isn't tied to other's worldviews. I am often jealous of those few around me who live happy and simple. Don't attach happiness to things. Be Kind. Make the most out of every second. Bring joy into every experience that you can. Appreciate what you have, where you are right now. Support each other. Fix the things that are broken. Get Healthy. Pay off debt. Repair relationships. Find peace. Do something you love. If you constantly are looking for likes, acceptance, or chasing the carrot, you will be stressed, anxious, and/or depressed and most of all absent from the present.

~Just my take on things

Thank you for reading this piece. I will be posting more of my takes in the future. Please check out my other stories (fiction and non-fiction). Also, visit my author page. www.kevinslimmerauthor.com