The Akufos of the World

I have been enjoying binge-watching Ted Lasso for the last month. There is one scene from the show that has stood out to me. On the show, Sam, a player for AFC Richmond, was approached by billionaire Akufo to be a part of a team he is building. Sam thought about it for a while. He loved that Akufo’s offer was generous, but overall, he felt at home with his current team at Richmond. When Sam went to decline Akufo’s offer, here was the billionaire’s response: 

My mom found it funny. However, I had a surreal series of flashbacks to when I had to tell people no. The most infamous was at my last job. There were times I would have to tell customers no. They were either asking for something that was against the company’s policy, or their request went beyond what we support. Many of the customers were an Akufo. I would be called various names, told to kill myself, and told I was the worst at my job. What’s worse is that a lot of these calls would last a half an hour or more. It left me emotionally and mentally drained. I eventually got to the point where I would dread saying no during a call and be terrified about how the customer would respond. I often would wonder if customers would have this level of vitriol if they were speaking to me in person.

Interestingly enough, the job did make me realize a pattern about myself. I had a hard time saying no in my personal life. I hate conflict and arguments. To avoid them, I would often relent despite it being against my best self-interest. For example, when going to college, I wanted to major in English. My dream was to be a fiction writer. Unfortunately, my mom and I would have arguments about it because writing wasn’t necessarily a stable option. She wanted me to go into computers because I have always been handy with them, and it was a safe career choice. Don’t get me wrong, I love computers as a tool, but I didn’t have any interest in studying them. 

Despite all of that, I hated arguing more and decided to major in computer graphics. It ended up being the worst mistake of my life. I hated every bit of the program. I wasn’t good at creating websites or graphics. I barely made it out. My computer graphics skills were not up to par for a professional, let alone anyone I graduated with. My degree just sits there collecting dust after over a decade of nonuse. I wish I had fought harder for what I wanted. At least if I had failed at it then, I would know it was on me and wouldn’t wonder what if. Instead, I ended up floating around in customer service roles because those were the only experiences that I had before my degree program came to a close.

I was mad about the whole thing until I got to my last job. Being forced to say no made me realize the importance of setting up boundaries. There will always be the Akufos of the world who will throw a fit and want to tear you down for not granting their every whim. Nevertheless, I realize that I need to be more like Sam. Despite Akufo screaming at him, he remained calm, cool, collected, and steadfast in his decision. Akufo had enough power to destroy Sam’s career, but he didn’t care. He made his boundaries known and stuck with it. That is something that I want to do: be more decisive in my choices in spite of the pushback. It will be hard, and it may hurt a little. But it will be worth it in the end to protect my peace of mind.