Thanksgiving(2020)

To all those suffering. Whether it be mental health or seasonal disorders. Or just someone who has had a rough go of things. Traveling during this time can flare up many symptoms during this time. On top of that we all still have to wear masks. When will things feel normal again? Take the time to breathe. Relax. Breathe. Whom have you forgotten to say Thanks to this year? Whatever your beliefs are, that's between you and The Universe. Let's just have a safe Holiday season.

To all those suffering. Whether it be mental health or seasonal disorders. Or just someone who has had a rough go of things. Traveling during this time can flare up many syptoms during this time. On top of that we all still have to wear masks. When will things feel normal again? Take the time to breathe. Relax. Breathe. Who have you forgotten to say Thanks to this year?

What am I thankful for this year? Will this journal be long enough to contain the remnants of what 2020 was supposed to be? What can we really say about this year, that we haven't already felt in strides. This year has been fraught with pandemic, elections, mass panic and protest, and we've also lost little parts of ourselves during Country wide shutdown. Like most I directly felt the shutdown and pandemic while getting fired from a job I worked at for over 10 years. My relationship with my partner was wearing thin and about to explode. My twins and I were displaced from a home we were still paying on till this day. I don't live there. I digress. I've had my life examined under a microscrope since we had to leave our home. Certain aspects kept us out and away. I was able to take on these things like everyone else, whilst living with Schizoaffective Disorder. Things are tough for everyone. We've hung on as long as we can. Everytime we have a moment of sun shining through, we tragically lost many friends, families, and even legends. 2021 is shaping up to be an improvement of the last year. We can all be thankful for something. No matter how small of miracle or as tough as a time as you can feel stuck. Reach deep within. Find what you see value in. Be thankful for more than you could know.

I am currently in a break-up, or readjustment. Personal binging , not taking or drinking on my meds, not seeking help, and living in complacency helped in the decline of myself and my bridges I may have burned. Things have been rocky for sometime in my relationship. That's not what this about it. I may not always agree with her or like her in the moment. I will always show her a level of love and what will grow into respect. We garner much love for eachother. I still do. She is the mother of my children. I understand why some may not like her, I get it. But they also don't see what I see. A true heart underneath. It just has to be shaken to be coherent. Be thankful for all that you have in your life. I am growing with the mother of my children. We may not be together but we are damned sure we will reach a place of progress, growth, and understanding. I am thankful for her being a tough as nails bearer of my children. That love and respect will extend our entire lives. Things are still early, yes. There's a level of learning, so hope for a better way is not so out of reach.

During this time of pandemic shutdown and being let go, I rediscovered my love for creating art and joining a community at the same time. I joined the communities of Hitrecord a wonderful collaborative site full of various projects ranging from voice acting, to shorts, animations, artwork, music, and many more. A lot of fun projects to choose from. Joining this group has taught me focus, passion, creativity, work ethic, and so much more. If it weren't for Hitrecord and Vocal, I may have ended up in a psych ward or worse. I awas able to start turning myself around. Building up courage, strength, intelligence, and a purpose. Looking back on all my projects, I have quite the portfolio now. I've built a purpose out of isolation and what I thought was bad luck. Vocal.media has brought back my love for focus and purpose, while imploring my use of taking journalism in school. To just creating more than just writing. I create page layouts and enhance my writing with videos. Also the bit about the idle hands do the devils dirty work. So I stay extremely busy. Not so much to not be able to meditate and pray. 2020 may be in the dumps for most people, but I have grown in spades. Reach out and see what may pick you up. What light can you find in the darkness?

Flexing this creative muscle has had me increasing my focus and concentration. My productivity and creativity are at an all time high. Being able to meet deadlines is an important part of being a writer and fueling our professionalism at the work place. In this case, my work place is my home. Though I've lived in two houses this year, I am always grateful for almost always having a roof over my head. A few nights outside and in the woods is where I usually went when I was having manic and schizo issues. The fact that I've had a roof over my head and it didn't leak was a step in the right direction. I had a safe, quiet place to be in my thoughts. I was able to focus on me and not worry about where I was gonna lay down at nights. Usually why I was thankful for my family for adding that support I needed. If I didn't have family here I would have been all but lost. It's not an easy job looking after me, especially with twin four year old girls dominating my world. Thankful for my daughters for being the cutest, sweetest beings out there. When they're not being sweet they are stubborn and often trip over their gigantic personalities. My mother has really been there for me. I have a team of support and specialists. A team that is there when I fall and need an extra push. My team of specialists help ground me as things around me spin around.Or perhaps I spin around on my own volition during mania and depression. I am thankful for the Medical care I receive and the insurance that was given to me.

Thanking all of the craftsman, scientists, and employees that have made my favorite nutrition shakes, supplements, and all natural, organic products. I can tell the difference in taste and how my body reacts to food. I am grateful for science for being able to provide me with extra support and healthier choices. Now all I have to do is stop smoking cigarettes. To everyone involved in the making of my various meds. Without them I would be a jackal of a man, left for everyone to deal with in harshest of fashions.

May we be blessed with abundance of food and joy. Our Thanksgiving tables are smaller than last years, yet we need this Holiday even more than we did the last. Whom brings you joy? What acts drive your heart strings? Never enough time to name the good. Shall we spend less on the bad in life and more focus on the good. Happy Thanksgiving…and Beyond.