Thank You To The Therapists

To My "Lit" Therapist,

You made it your mission to understand my language, even when it wasn't your own. You listened, even when I know it was hard to hear my truths.

I remember calling you for the very first time standing outside of my favorite restaurant. I remember telling you I just wanted the night terrors to end. I remember asking if you could take me on as a client given my history and situation.

You said you would.

I don't remember what we were talking about but I remember when you said "lit" back to me. You had asked me to explain the word before, either in that session or one prior, and then you used it, flawlessly, with a certain novice's flair.

You knew exactly what to ask and how to probe further. I was not looking for the easy way out to get better. I knew it would take work. I recognized how deep I had gone, or how far I had been pushed.

You had a way of opening me up. And I did not even realize how much of a difference you had made in my life until I looked around at my home tonight. It's beautiful.

You got me through the night terrors. You got me through what most of the people around me don't even know was the hardest year of my life. I'm not gonna lie to you, I cried a lot of those nights after our sessions. Mostly because I was thinking about the things you had said. I was thinking about your wisdom and honesty. I was thinking about how you returned with words in prose as if we were playing tennis, and you demonstrated that you had really listened.

"Lit."

Three letters. One word. That was all I needed.

It was sometime around that day when we turned a corner. You reminded me of my power when I knew it was deemed undesirable to some. My empowerment was a nonnegotiable. That's why I researched therapists for months before entrusting you with my care. I had never had a real say in who my mental health care had been placed with. In fact, I'd been forced from the start.

But now I had a choice. Now I had a decision to make, a commitment as well to my mental wellness, overall quality of life and survival. I did everything I felt I had to do to rearrange my mind back into as structured of an open space as possible. There are multiple realities going on at all times, and yet we must navigate these waters as if they are not consistently tumultuous. You seemed to understand the ebbs and flows of life. You seemed not to judge me. Your wisdom told me that you had a story of your own to tell. But then again most people do.

You are the strongest woman I know. You are the woman I want to thank. You are the woman who looked at me for who I truly am and told me it's okay to be that person. You were the person who questioned what needed to be questioned. You were the person who reminded me that the only person's permission that I needed to exercise my right to freedom of thought was myself.

You reminded me to look in the mirror.

That woman is with me always. You brought me back to her. That woman has got my back no matter what. You told me to look at her. That woman has been with me every step of the way. You reintroduced me to her. That woman is a force. You guided me back to her.

Isn't that incredible. That's what I was looking for when I made that call.

Me.

"Lit."

Sincerely,

The Woman You Saved