Tell Your Truth

Summer of 2013 i had just moved back to the town that it all started, My addiction.

During this time i had just went through some serious life changing events leading me back down that path of destruction after a couple years of sobriety under my belt with no care in the world where this would take me.

When i returned i had nothing to my name and knew i was headed straight for what i thought would heal my pain.

Addiction is a very powerful demon i don't suggest anyone to accept what the devil has to offer.

It was a saturday night and my first night back, i was staying in this shelter but it was more of an independant living type shelter accept with rules and cameras. One of the rules being no visitors allowed.

With that being said i decided i would go out with a close girlfriend of mine i've known for years, So i thought.

We planned to have a couple shots before hitting our local bar.

She shows up with a friend of hers in his minivan, i'm not concerned at this point as i had trusted her and for what it's worth he was a very nice man, Much older then us maybe in his 50s but still i felt no fear again i was in a horrible stage in my life where i just didn't care.

We find a parking lot close to the bar we planned to attend, all jump into the back of the van and begin taking shots, i myself had one shot, a small mixed drink which honestly didn't even give me a buzz, during this time in my life drinking was something i participated in very often making my tolerance fairly high.

We then decided it was time to head into the bar and get our party on, id say we were in there about 30 minutes before her friend had offered us a beer, trusting her i accepted the beer.

This is when things take a turn for the worse.

Its now sunday morning early like 7:00Am, im woken up by the feeling of discomfort, Here i am NAKED no sweater its just missing all together, tank top stretched out, ripped, my pants and underwear completely off my body, in some dirt in the backyard of the shelter looking as if i was just hit by a mack truck, i've got cuts, scarpes (almost like a road rash) all over my body including blood and what appeared to be male reproductive fluid all over my vagina and inner thighs.

I was so frightened as i had little to no memory, everything just seemed blurred from the night before making me question why i was naked outside basically beat up and bloody, i then try to call my girlfriend right away to try and get answers. My last vivid memory was of her and her friend basically carrying me from the van in the driveway to the back door at the shelter.

I called, No answer.

I texted and to my surprise no response.

I was drugged, Sexually assaulted (rape).

You were suppose to be my friend, to this day we haven't spoken and ive never got any explanation or closure.

your actions definitely tell me you know of something or did something to me that saturday night.

YOU RAPED ME!

I have never healed from this and the memory of what i woke up to still haunts me, i beat myself up all the time questioning my actions and why did allow this to happen to me that its my own fault for not being responsible. Never hold anything in tell your truth. Sexual assault is not okay no matter what the situation is.

National sexual Assault hotline 1-800-656-4673