advice
Advice and tips on managing mental health, maintaining a positive outlook and becoming your happiest self.
When Getting Out of Bed Feels Impossible: Micro Goals for Mental Health at Work
The Weight of the Morning There are days when the alarm clock feels like an enemy. Your body is still, and your mind is overwhelmed before your feet even touch the floor. The weight of responsibilities, emails, meetings, deadlines, can press down before you’ve even opened your eyes. For those living with depression, anxiety, or burnout, this sensation isn’t just emotional. It’s physical. Getting out of bed doesn’t feel hard, it feels impossible.
By Richard Baileyabout a year ago in Psyche
Open Your Heart. Top Story - July 2025.
We, as people, have forgotten who we really are. We live in a complex world. Our society is fast-paced and almost devoid of feeling in the internet era, with incessant conference calls between continents at all hours of the day.
By Elizabeth Woodsabout a year ago in Psyche
10 Things That Quietly Destroy Your Mental Health — Without You Even Realizing
It’s not always obvious. Sometimes, your mental health doesn’t collapse in a moment. It fades. Quietly. One ignored emotion at a time. One habit. One decision. Until one day — you wake up exhausted and disconnected. Here are 10 things that quietly damage your mental health — and what to do about them. - - - - - ### (1. Saying “Yes” When You Want to Say “No”) People-pleasing isn’t kindness. It’s self-abandonment with a smile. Every time you say “yes” out of fear instead of desire — You chip away at your peace. Your time isn’t infinite. Protect it. --- ### (2. Living in Survival Mode For Too Long) Being strong is fine. But when you never rest, never slow down, never breathe — Your body forgets what safety feels like. And that turns *existing* into *enduring.* You deserve softness. Not just survival. --- ### (3. Consuming Content That Lowers Your Energy) Who you follow shapes how you think. Doomscrolling. Toxic “advice.” Constant comparison. Your brain doesn’t forget what you feed it. Protect your digital space like you protect your home. --- ### (4. Ignoring Your Gut Instincts) You knew something felt off. But you stayed anyway. Listened to logic. Pushed away your intuition. That inner voice? It’s wisdom. Stop silencing it just to avoid discomfort. --- ### (5. Keeping Yourself Busy to Avoid Feeling) Always working. Always distracted. Always doing. But deep down — you’re avoiding stillness. Why? Because stillness brings up feelings. But ignoring them doesn’t make them disappear. It just stores them deeper. --- ### (6. Letting Low-Effort People Stay in Your Life) If they drain you… Confuse you… Only show up when it’s easy… That’s not friendship. That’s emotional noise. And noise makes it hard to hear your *self.* --- ### (7. Believing Every Negative Thought You Think) Just because your mind says it doesn’t mean it’s true. Thoughts aren’t facts. But if you don’t challenge them — they become beliefs. And beliefs shape your identity. Start questioning the narrative. --- ### (8. Avoiding Boundaries Because You Don’t Want to “Seem Mean”) Kindness without boundaries becomes resentment. You can love people deeply and still protect your space. Every time you overextend, you teach your nervous system that your needs don’t matter. They do. Speak up. --- ### (9. Staying in Environments That Drain You — Just Because They’re “Familiar”) Not all comfort zones are healthy. Some are just *predictable pain.* You deserve environments that feel safe, not just known. Familiar doesn’t always mean right. Sometimes growth requires *leaving.* --- ### (10. Forgetting That Rest Is Productive) You’re not lazy. You’re *overstimulated.* Your body isn’t weak. It’s *burnt out.* Rest is not the reward — it’s the foundation. And without it, your mind collapses quietly. You can’t pour from an empty soul. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ### 🌿 Final Thought Mental health doesn’t only break in loud, visible ways. Sometimes, it fades in silence. (. . .) Through ignored emotions. Through guilt-wrapped yeses. Through the belief that rest must be earned. But the good news? You can come back to yourself. Bit by bit. Choice by choice. Boundary by boundary. ** Your healing doesn’t have to be loud. It just has to begin. ** Start with one thing. One “no.” One hour off your phone. One real moment of rest. Because your mind is always listening — ** Make sure it hears that it’s safe again. **
By SHADOW-WRITESabout a year ago in Psyche
Why You Still Miss People Who Hurt You — Even When You Know They Were Wrong
You know what they did. You remember the lies. The distance. The manipulation. The way they made you question your own worth. And still — some nights, you miss them. And you hate yourself for it. But here’s the truth: **Missing someone who hurt you doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.** --- ### (1. You’re Not Missing *Them* — You’re Missing the Version You Thought They Were) You’re not longing for the pain. You’re longing for the moments that felt safe. The way they smiled. The way they held your hand. The version of them that loved you — or at least seemed like they did. That version wasn’t fake. It was temporary. And it’s okay to miss what felt real, even if it didn’t last. --- ### (2. You Were Attached to the Potential — Not the Reality) They showed glimpses of who they *could’ve* been. The promises. The apologies. The “I’ll change” moments. You held onto the *hope.* And now, what you miss… Is what never fully happened. You’re grieving not just a person — but a future you built in your heart. --- ### (3. The Brain Bonds with Familiarity — Even If It Hurt) Trauma bonds are real. Your brain linked them with comfort. Even if they hurt you. Even if you cried every night. Because pain can still feel familiar. And the mind often chooses *familiar over healthy.* --- ### (4. You Gave Them Parts of You That No One Else Has Touched) They saw the softest sides of you. Your laughter. Your secrets. The way you loved without holding back. Of course it’s hard to let that go. They didn’t just take your time — they touched your identity. --- ### (5. You’re Grieving Closure You’ll Never Get) You wanted an apology. An explanation. Something to *make it make sense.* But sometimes healing means accepting: **They won’t come back. And if they do — it won’t be what you needed.** That grief is real. Let yourself feel it. --- ### (6. Your Nervous System Still Associates Them With Safety) Even if your mind knows better, your body remembers comfort. The rhythm of their voice. The way they showed up — even inconsistently. That pattern is still coded in you. But you’re rewriting it now. Slowly. Bravely. --- ### (7. You Were Taught That Love Is Sacrifice) Many of us were taught love means suffering. That loyalty means staying. That forgiveness means silence. So when we finally leave — we feel guilt. We confuse *absence* with *abandonment.* But you didn’t abandon anyone. You chose *you.* And that’s not selfish — it’s survival. --- ### (8. You’re Remembering the Good — And Forgetting the Cost) Your mind protects you by remembering the highlight reel. The smiles. The fun. The chemistry. But try this: **When you miss them — also remember how heavy your heart felt at night.** Miss the moments — but don’t glamorize the pain. --- ### (9. Missing Someone Doesn’t Mean You Should Return to Them) You can miss a person… and still know they’re not meant for you. You can love what you had… and still release it. Healing isn’t black and white. And feeling the ache doesn’t mean you failed — it means you *feel.* And that’s a strength, not a flaw. --- ### (10. You’re Not Weak — You’re Human and Healing) Let yourself miss them. Let yourself cry. Let yourself feel confused. This doesn’t mean you want them back. It just means your heart is still processing something deep. And that’s *okay.* --- ### 🌿 Final Thought You’re allowed to miss them. Even if they hurt you. Even if everyone else says, “Be glad they’re gone.” Because healing isn’t about erasing memories. It’s about accepting truth — while still honoring the part of you that loved. (. . .) So when the ache comes back — don’t shame yourself. Don’t question your strength. Just whisper: **“I miss you. But I finally choose me.”** And with every day you don’t reach out, don’t go back, and don’t reopen that wound — You’re not just healing. **You’re finally free.**
By SHADOW-WRITESabout a year ago in Psyche
From the Valleys of Peshawar to the Land of the Rising Sun
My Story: My name is Atif, and I was born on May 15, 2002, in Peshawar, Pakistan, into a poor but hardworking family. Our origins trace back to the Mohmand Agency (FATA), but we’ve been living in Peshawar for over 38 years—fighting poverty, chasing dreams, and building our lives one brick at a time.
By Atif khurshaidabout a year ago in Psyche
The Therapist Who Gaslit Me Into Thinking I Was the Problem
The Therapist Who Gaslit Me Into Thinking I Was the Problem I thought therapy was supposed to heal you. I thought therapists were supposed to help you find clarity. What I didn’t know—what no one warned me about—is that when you give your mind to the wrong person, they can twist it into something unrecognizable. This is the story of how the very person I trusted to help me recover broke me even further. The First Session: Finally, Hope I was desperate when I first walked into her office. Let’s call her “Dr. A.” It was the middle of the pandemic. I’d just come out of a toxic relationship, was laid off from my job, and was barely sleeping. Anxiety had wrapped itself around my chest so tightly that I sometimes forgot how to breathe. I knew I needed help. Dr. A was warm, articulate, and had that calm energy that made you feel like maybe—just maybe—you weren’t crazy. She nodded at all the right moments. She seemed to get me. I left that first session thinking, This is it. I’m finally going to get better. And for a little while, it felt like I was. The Subtle Shift It didn’t happen all at once. That’s the thing about gaslighting—it’s not loud. It’s a whisper that slowly drowns out your inner voice. At first, she challenged me in ways that felt productive. When I told her my ex used to scream at me during fights, she asked, “What do you think you were doing to trigger that reaction?” When I said my mother emotionally neglected me as a child, she responded with, “Are you sure you're not just interpreting her behavior through a victim lens?” I remember blinking. Confused. Unsure. But she was the professional. I wanted to trust her. So I leaned in. Over the next few months, I stopped telling stories about how I’d been hurt and started digging for how I had caused it. I became obsessed with “taking accountability.” I stopped trusting my instincts. I started believing maybe I was the toxic one. Maybe I had exaggerated the trauma. Maybe I deserved what happened to me. Rewriting Reality One day, I told her I was thinking about cutting off contact with my father, a man who had emotionally abused me my whole life. She paused. Then she said, “I think your desire to cut people off comes from your discomfort with being challenged.” I felt my stomach drop. I knew she was wrong—but the doubt crept in anyway. I left that session crying in my car, not because I was sad, but because I felt like I had betrayed myself. I knew I wasn’t afraid of being challenged. I was afraid of being hurt again. But I couldn’t say it out loud. I’d already been taught not to trust my pain. That’s when I started gaslighting myself. The Breaking Point Six months in, I had a panic attack in her office. It wasn’t the first time, but this one was different. I was shaking, hyperventilating, unable to form words. I had been triggered by a memory I didn’t expect. She looked at me and said calmly, “You're having this reaction because you’re not doing the work. You’re choosing to stay in a victim mindset.” There was no softness. No grounding. No empathy. Just diagnosis. In that moment, I felt smaller than I ever had in my life. And somehow—despite the screaming in my body—I still tried to believe her. Maybe I was being dramatic. Maybe I was just lazy with my healing. That night, I self-harmed for the first time in years. The Escape It wasn’t one big revelation that saved me. It was a thousand tiny moments where I realized my sessions were leaving me more confused, more ashamed, and more broken than when I arrived. I started reading about therapy ethics, gaslighting, and emotional invalidation. And then I found it: a Reddit post from a woman describing almost the exact same experience with her therapist. Every sentence felt like a mirror. I finally said it to myself: It’s not me. It’s her. I ghosted Dr. A the next day. No closure. No goodbye. I didn’t owe it to her. The Aftermath It took me over a year to try therapy again. This time, I chose a trauma-informed therapist who emphasized consent, validation, and collaboration. Someone who didn’t make me feel like my pain was a problem to be solved—but something to be held with compassion. That new therapist helped me rebuild what had been so carefully torn down. She taught me how to re-trust my gut, how to validate my own experience, how to stop apologizing for my emotions. She even helped me work through the trauma of my first therapist, which, ironically, was the hardest to name. Because who wants to admit that the person who was supposed to help you hurt you instead? Why I’m Telling This Story I hesitated to write this. I didn’t want to scare anyone away from therapy. The right therapist can save your life. But the wrong one? The wrong one can make you feel like your suffering is your fault. Like your memories are fiction. Like you’re too broken to fix. If you’re in therapy and constantly feeling more ashamed, more doubtful, or more disconnected from yourself, that is not “growth.” That is not “accountability.” That is harm. You’re allowed to fire your therapist. You’re allowed to walk away. You’re allowed to say, “This doesn’t feel right.” I’m telling this story because someone out there needs to hear it: You’re not the problem. You never were.Start writing...
By Soul Draftsabout a year ago in Psyche
You’re Not Overreacting — You’re Just Finally Feeling Everything You Ignored for Years
You cried over something small. You got overwhelmed by a tiny change. You snapped when you’re usually calm. And then you thought — “Why am I like this?” “Why can’t I just chill?” But here’s what no one tells you: You’re not overreacting. You’re finally feeling *everything* you’ve been burying. --- ### (1. You’ve Carried Unspoken Stress for So Long, It Became Normal) You’ve held it in. Smiled through chaos. Kept showing up even when you were breaking inside. But stress doesn’t disappear. It stores. In your body. In your nervous system. In your chest. And now it’s finally leaking out — not as weakness, but as release. --- ### (2. Small Things Feel Big When Big Things Were Never Felt) That one comment. That one moment. It wasn’t that deep. But it triggered something old. Unprocessed. Unspoken. And now you’re finally allowing yourself to *feel.* Not just react. But *really feel.* That’s not dramatic. That’s *healing.* --- ### (3. You Weren’t Too Sensitive — You Were Emotionally Numb) You called yourself strong. But you were actually numb. You called it “moving on.” But it was suppression. And now that your body feels safe enough — It’s allowing the emotions to rise. Let them. They’re not setbacks. They’re signals. --- ### (4. You Don’t Trust Your Emotions Because You Were Taught to Suppress Them) “Don’t cry.” “Don’t be dramatic.” “Get over it.” You heard those words too many times. So now, when you *do* feel something — you judge yourself. You call it overreacting. But it’s not. It’s your inner child finally being allowed to speak. --- ### (5. Your Nervous System is Dysregulated — And You’re Learning to Reset) You lived in survival mode. Your body was in fight, flight, or freeze. Every little thing now feels like danger. But you’re not broken. You’re rewiring. And that takes time. Patience. And *grace.* --- ### (6. You’ve Been Too Strong For Too Long — And Your Body Can’t Hold It Anymore) You kept it all together. For everyone. All the time. But even strength has limits. And now your body is saying: **“It’s my turn.”** To fall. To release. To rest. That’s not failure. That’s survival. --- ### (7. You Feel Lost Because You’ve Abandoned Yourself to Keep the Peace) You ignored your needs. Bit your tongue. Played roles. And now, you don’t recognize yourself. This breakdown isn’t random — it’s a *realignment.* You’re not falling apart. You’re coming back *home* to you. --- ### (8. You’re Triggered Because You’re Healing) Healing is messy. It brings up old pain. Old versions of you. Unfinished grief. You’re not backtracking. You’re digging deeper. So if you feel “too much” right now — that’s a sign you’re *in it.* And being *in it* means you're finally *moving through it.* --- ### (9. You Feel More Now Because You’re Numbing Less) You’re not drinking it away. Working it away. Laughing it off. You’re sitting with it. And that’s why it feels louder. Because you’re actually listening now. And healing begins where numbing ends. --- ### (10. Your Sensitivity Isn’t a Flaw — It’s a Superpower in Recovery) You notice everything. Feel deeply. Cry easily. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you *awake.* And yes, awakening is uncomfortable. But on the other side of this ache is a new level of self-understanding. --- ### 🌿 Final Thought You’re not overreacting. You’re not broken. You’re just finally giving yourself permission to *feel what you’ve been silencing.* (. . .) That moment you cried out of nowhere? That wasn’t random. It was a release. That frustration over small things? It’s grief resurfacing. That ache in your chest? It’s emotion finally being *heard.* So please — stop apologizing for feeling too much. Because it’s not too much. **It’s just been too quiet for too long.** And now, your healing is finally making *noise.*
By SHADOW-WRITESabout a year ago in Psyche
