Sticks and Stones may break my bones...

It never fails to amaze me at how insensitive people are when it comes to calling names. I can be a little sensitive at times, taking things too personally, but at the height of struggling with my mental health I chose to grow a beard, so was I asking for trouble in a vulnerable state. What I do know now is that I didn't deserve it and nor was I prepared for it at the time, but granted, no-one knew what was going on inside my head. There is banter and then there is just plain ignorance. I can be easily offended if someone keeps on pointing out my baldness or big nose. Believe me when I say there is a lot in the Barber shops I use. It is all in jest. However, different person, different day, the unfamiliar, how could that be perceived?

Would you like it if I called you names?

We can all be candid but we can't all see what is going on inside someone's head. So think before you speak. If I called a woman 'Dolly Parton' for having big breasts, how is that different to calling me 'Osama Bin Laden' for having a beard, it can be offensive. Perhaps the breast comparison is a little harsh and I appreciate some people are flattered by the comparisons offered up but I'm no terrorist. He didn't have a great beard to speak of anyway. I think it was more about the person on this occasion than his beard. So, all people with beards are terrorists – right? I can hear the feedback already from the reader that these aren't comparable but you're not in my head and remember everyone reacts differently.

Stereotypes

Yeh, I get bored now of being likened to Santa but I did my bit and dressed up to switch the lights on in my local high street. I won’t do it again – it is way to short now anyway. I haven't even got a bushy white beard for that matter and I'm bald so work that one out. It rained the night I appeared and the make-up in my beard started to melt but no-one noticed. I was in a public meeting once and asked by an official what mosque I attended which is hardly appropriate behaviour and I regret now not filing a complaint as I wasn't in the right mindset to make the challenge at the time. Bronson, Yeti, ZZ Top (possibly cope with that one!), Bellamy (nope), Gandalf (I wish), Chewbacca (cool), Hagrid, Grizzly Adams (look him up) and loads more to boot. Apparently, it ages me, I keep food in it and it is un-clean. I am no Mr Stink and I challenge anyone to keep up with my grooming routine that would put most clean faced whelks to shame. Having said that it can be a burden some days. Even to the point of being asked to shave it off because it might offend someone or it being an inappropriate image in the workplace.

Bullies

"Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me" as the saying goes or at least one that I had to keep saying to myself as a young, bullied, schoolboy. I couldn't even grow bum fluff and amid testosterone fuelled peers getting all the attention, names do hurt. Now look at who can grow a beard and getting all the attention, an award winning one at that and proud of it. Jealousy? Is that why people do it? Being different, not conforming to the norm, I wouldn’t have it any other way, my way. It is hard to cope with it some days but remember, and I can say this following support from my meditation and yoga teacher, that it is not what people say but how you choose accept it. Don't live for other people's approval.