Spouses alcohol/pill addiction and Bi-Polar rage is out of control
Time to take care of me
I'm going to start just by laying it all on the line. My husband of nearly four decades is a raging 30 plus year alcoholic. Over the years he has also added prescription pain pills addiction and has been diagnosed as BiPolar.
I have to admit I have done just about everything there is to do in an attempt to convince him to get the help he needs. I have been unsuccessful at every try.
I feel as if he has hit every rock bottom scenario there is. Nothing phases this man. He has been arrested numerous times for drunk and disorderly, wrecked his truck. He has lost his driver's license four times over the years. Before you ask, no, he does not have a license or access to a vehicle. It has been twenty years since he last drove.
He has been, beaten to a pulp outside a bar. Fallen and taken to the emergency room countless times. In 2019, he had seizures that nearly cost him his life. He has been told so many times by many doctors he is on a fast track to death.
His last hospital admittance found him tied to the bed, and unable to recognize family members, the year, and so forth for more than four days.
In early November, he overdosed on pain pills while drinking at a bar. The emergency squad was called. They gave him at least two doses of Narcan and took him to the hospital.
A friend of his called me to tell me what had happened. I left for the hospital and in the five minutes it took me to arrive he had come around enough to tell the er staff he refused treatment and left. I spotted him walking around the parking lot and picked him up.
I know he is sick physically, and mentally but I am not so sure I can hang in there much longer to deal with him. Our children are all grown and live lives on their own now. They saw their dad two days during Christmas. Prior to that, they had not seen him more than in passing since July.
We have two grandchildren who he really knows nothing about, and they do not really know him. He has been having aggressive rage outbursts when he is wanting money for drugs. He is totally a different person and it is honestly frightening when he goes into these fits of rage.
He has never harmed me physically, but his verbal outbursts are more than I can take anymore. In the past three months, he has blown through at least $5000 with nothing to show for it. It has been an argument after argument with him over money.
The man believes it is okay to spend it because his father left him $40,000. I have been accused of stealing the money because it is in an account he can't get to. I did make sure that the bulk of it went to bills. He screams at me for paying the bills he owed.
He had back taxes, thousands in medical bills which were billed to me. So you are damn right I took the money to pay off his bills. I am not going to be held reliable for them.
I am working my butt off to pay off my debt, build my credit up, and will start detaching my name from his in everything I can. As I stated before I can not take much more.
If I leave him he will have no one else to look after him, his children decided years ago they would not tolerate his addictions and will not deal with the mess he makes in his life.
He has pushed away every living family member he has left. He has no true friends. Although he feels the guys he works with, or that hang out with him at the bars are his friends.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, they are also addicts who will be anyone's best friend as long as they are paying for the party. It is a sad way to live, and it has made my life miserable also.
I truly feel at this rate he will eventually do himself in. It gives me such anxiety that I will come home one day and find him dead. I am making future plans to leave, and I am working on detaching, so I will feel no guilt.
I am aware that I did not cause this (his alcohol and pill addiction) I can't control it and I can't cure it. You 1000 percent can not help someone who does not want to help themselves. It is just time for me to face the fact, he is responsible for himself. I just need to focus and take care of myself.
It is not a life I would wish on anyone, and I know so many people are dealing with similar issues. I wish them all the best of luck, it is no easy journey.
About the Creator
Susana Shadows
A woman of the world who feels like she has already lived many lifetimes and adventures in just a handful of decades.
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