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So You're Clinically Depressed

Good Memes Bro

By David LeesonPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
2
So You're Clinically Depressed
Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash

We’ve all seen the memes. Clinical depression is good for a laugh nowadays. I love jokes, and at times, I especially appreciate dark humor. At the right time, with the right delivery, dark topics can be taken lightly, and it’s healthy to have a laugh at yourself sometimes.

This doesn't mean depression itself should be treated as a joke.

It seems as though depression has become a more common thing within the last couple generations, and while it continues to spread like a disease, it seems like the general public only takes it less seriously. Something I’ve heard said a lot would something along the lines of, “I know I can’t complain. People have it worse than me, and I feel like I’m taking attention away from people with real problems.”

Real problems.

This is a problem, a serious one. Be it through memes or ignorance, we’ve managed to make light of a serious issue. Even the less severe cases can be gateways to more issues down the road, if we’re not careful.

I vaguely remember the day I was diagnosed with clinical depression, a few years back: I had checked myself into the hospital psyche ward that day, at the insistence of my then-girlfriend. I had simply walked in and told them that if I left the building by myself, I was going to commit suicide. They kept me there and I met with a psychiatrist who asked me many questions.

This event was an eye-opener for me. I knew I was at a low point in my life, and I had suspected that I was depressed; I’d had suicidal thoughts since I was a young child. The idea had just never really sunk in until that moment, the very moment he’d told me that I had a progressive form of depression. It’s a common one, but that doesn’t mean it's necessarily treatable. I stayed in the hospital for a week or two until they decided I was ready to re-enter the world by myself.

The whole experience I had in there was fuzzy, and to this day I can only gather bits and pieces. Here’s why: The Prozac and other medications he’d prescribed me made it impossible to think. Imagine walking through a thick fog, and the further you walk into this fog, the more substance it has, until eventually you can’t move any further.

That’s how it felt just attempting to think, and it was worse when performing simple tasks. I could hardly form a coherent sentence. This was obviously not going to be a manageable solution, but I was still willing to give the old college try. The alternative was no better, and it still isn’t: I’d have to deal with my issues on my own.

Depression can be different for everyone, but here’s how I can best describe it for myself when it gets bad: Every step you take feels as though you’re walking knee-deep through muddy water. Every breath seems like an effort, so no wonder you can’t find the motivation to get out of bed. You know what awaits you: You’ll rise, looking and feeling like a corpse, shamble your way through the day, completing tasks and having conversations you don’t care about, only to go back to bed at the end of it all, waiting for more of the same tomorrow. It’s no wonder you look for ways to end it all.

The thoughts invade like subtle whispers, with the volume of a wailing child and the harsh nature of a slap to the face. “End it. It’s the easiest choice. Nobody’s even going to notice until the place smells like decay.”

My goal here isn’t to be edgy. This is the reality for many people. Unable to hold a job due to a mental impairment that’s treated like a joke. Prescribed drugs that may or may not help you. Stuck inside your head, feeling unable or “not qualified” to ask for help.

I can understand scepticism: there are, of course, many “self-diagnosed” individuals that have maybe done a few google searches, scrolled some blogs, read some sad poetry and decided that they’re amongst the suffering. There’s a huge difference between sadness and depression.

The biological causes of depression are often not well understood, but there are a few important factors to consider:

While things like PTSD from traumatic events can be catalysts for depression, they’re not really required for the development. (My depression existed before some traumatic events I’ve mentioned in past articles, but worsened after they happened.)

People with depression don’t just live in a constant state of sad. They’re not pessimists. They have a mental condition that makes their existence seem dreary and often meaningless.

Let’s spend a minute on everyone’s favourite topic: Suicide.

I’ve personally known, (and in some cases, still know), people with suicidal tendencies apart from myself. I’ve also noticed patterns that seem the same nearly everywhere I look.

Tell me if you’ve seen this movie: The protagonist of our story, (let’s call him Chuck), is affected by a seriously traumatizing event. Chuck decides to take his own life. Our hero is standing on a ladder, head in the noose, when some of his friends or family walk in and save the day by reasoning with Chuck, telling him he can get help, that things can get better. He steps down, and.?

The end. Chuck has a happy ending. Way to go, Chuck, and way to go Chuck’s friends. High fives all around.

This might seem ridiculous on paper, but you may be surprised how many people expect this outcome in reality. People seem to think, subconsciously or not, that once the problem is dealt with, it’s gone. They may be there for you the first time you mention something like suicidal tendencies, maybe a few times. But they expect you to work on it, which is a valid expectation. The only problem is, they expect you to conquer it.

Eventually, those friends and family members aren’t there for you anymore. And the sad truth is that they often don’t believe you’re suicidal because you haven’t committed suicide. Does that sound reasonable?

None of what I’ve said is completely absolute, but I’ve seen so much of it during my short time on this earth. It utterly breaks my heart to see people suffering so much, and hating themselves all the more for it, as if they’re the ones at fault.

Hey guys, its Mr. Author. I want to let you know that there are people out there that understand what you’re going through, or even sympathize with it. If you’re in danger, even if you are that danger, you don’t have to deal with it alone.

Canada Suicide Prevention Service

1-833-456-4566

Emergency number

911

USA:

1-800-273-8255

UK:

116 123

Australia:

13 11 14

depression
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About the Creator

David Leeson

Hey there, thanks for stopping by!

For an aspiring young writer, I'm thrilled at the opportunity to express my thoughts on a platform such as Vocal. I hope you all can enjoy the journey alongside me!

My insta: @rick_bananchez

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