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Should I Do This, Or This, Or That?

Is your Anxiety making decisions for you?

By a.secretcodePublished 4 years ago 3 min read
2

Living with an inner voice

Hello Vocal friends! How are you feeling today? I am proud of you for clicking on this article and making a choice to be here today. I know first hand how difficult it can be dealing with Anxiety every day, morning, evening, and night. I found what best helped me is reading other’s stories, and experience’s living with Anxiety. It helps to make me feel not so alone, not "CrAzY". It’s hard to accept the harsh reality of what we have to go through every day, but just taking a little time out of our day to embrace our anxiety will help us feel free.

Anxiety is my worse enemy, I have tried to accept this witch in my life but it almost seems impossible. I have spent countless hours at the edge of my bed begging for her to shut up, to stop. Despite all of my crying and begging, she continues to flood my thoughts with her negative opinions. I can’t remember the day were making daily choices became a chore, something I dreaded because I knew how indecisive I would get, an endless argument between the witch and I until I was mentally drained. I started to isolate myself because I could no longer function properly around my friends or family, they never understood why it took my 30 minutes to figure out what I wanted to eat, I could see how frustrated they became. I chose to be alone and that is exactly what the witch wanted to happen, for me to be vulnerable, and distant from everyone around me. I should feel free and at ease when making a simple choice as to "What should I eat today?" or "Can I go pee right now?". These choices are easy in others' lives but aren't in mine. I am a prisoner to my Anxiety and anyone else who is suffering, you are not alone. I know how tiring it is, always second-guessing your choices.

I’ve learned to cope by isolating myself from people, never going out, hiding in my room choosing to stay away in fear of being made fun of, or people thinking I’m annoying, but now I’m 22 and realizing that it’s the wrong way to go about it. I have missed out on so many opportunities because I thought isolating my self would help, but it doesn’t. You may feel like you are a burden in someone’s life, but you aren’t, trust me. Pushing people away will only dig a deeper pit of endless negative thoughts and let the witch in your head win. Surround yourself with those who love you, and a community that will support you.

A little story about me; every day in middle school, I would go to class like normal, go to my assigned seating, and get my materials out. The witch would tell me "Everyone can hear you breathing, be quiet." making me overthink. These thoughts got so intense I couldn't focus in class. I was too busy holding my breath to the point my saliva built up in my mouth because I was too scared to swallow or breathe in fear someone would hear me. I didn't realize what was happening to me. I didn’t realize I was suffering from anxiety.

I hope if you enjoyed my short story you continue to follow me. I am on a journey to defeat my Anxiety and for anyone else who's ready to heal and let go of your unwanted friend. Stay tuned I'm creating a community so we can fight together.

I know it's cliche to say but let's keep pushing and try our best to believe we can beat these thoughts.

Cheers to us! Let's keep fighting!

anxiety
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About the Creator

a.secretcode

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