Self-Esteem in Our Generation

In our society, in this extremely turbulent time, everybody seems to be polarized to a "side," whether it be politics, religion, or even something as simple as what foods we should be eating. However, in my opinion, I don't think anything could be more detrimental to our psyches as the polarization we can experience in our own minds. We can get lost in a struggle of not knowing how to feel about ourselves. Now, this may not apply to everyone. Maybe I can make it easier to understand for the people that don't suffer from self-esteem issues. Maybe I can give a little hope to those of us that suffer from such turmoil in our minds and hearts.

For many of the young people growing up in the last thirty years or so, we have been shown what's acceptable in presenting ourselves. The media and entertainment industries have had a lot to do with this. For me, personally, I grew up being shown how women are suppose to look, dress, act, and think. I was told by these industries what is "sexy." Or, at least, that's what I believed to be true. Women are suppose to be thin, pretty, wear make up, have our nails and hair done, be dressed a certain way (according to the latest fashion trends), and follow the norm — this all to make sure we are aesthetically pleasing to the eye of the beholder.

To give you a little background on me, from the time I was young all the way through high school, I was chubby. I had very thick and frizzy hair. I went through an extremely awkward phase in my adolescence. I was made fun of... a lot. It turned me into a very angry teen. I never understood why I couldn't look like the women on TV or even my beautiful mother. She was skinny and pretty and I wasn't — even though now, I will get compliments and I don't know how to take or accept them. In recent years, I do look different, thanks to dieting and taking better care of my hair and skin. But it's also that, in recent years, I began to give zero f---s about what other people think about me. I am beautiful. I am a good person. I deserve to be happy.

I'm sure there's plenty of women that can agree that we focus on our imperfections. We will stop at nothing to correct them. We pay thousands of dollars and countless hours fixing these issues. Don't get me wrong here. I'm not saying to not take care of yourself. But sometimes our minds exaggerate these imperfections. Why are we so focused on what other people think of us? We should be the only people that matter to ourselves. Our imperfections make us unique. It makes us stand out in this sea of sameness.

One day, someone will come along that loves you for the beautiful soul that you are — even for the self-conscious beings that some of us are. You need to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else. That being said, I'd like to share a few tips on how I overcame my self-doubt and self-hatred.

1. Do not hold yourself to expectations of being like what you see on TV. Many of these women have had surgery, liposuction, Botox injections, and have professional hair, makeup, and airbrush artists. It's not realistic for most women, especially on the salaries our generation is earning and the ever growing inflation.
2. Take some ME time. Pamper yourself, whether it be a nice bubble bath, those new shoes you wanted, or perhaps just a marathon of your favorite show. Doing things like this can really help you feel good and feel good about yourself.
3. Love what you do. Even if you can't have your dream job... do things on the side that ignite your passions and fulfill you. It can be working for a charity, volunteering, making art or craftwork, or maybe journalism. Whatever it may be, make sure you are happy doing it. These things can make you feel whole.
4. Don't focus on your flaws. Focus on your strengths. Maybe you think that you're awkward in conversation. Instead, think: "I do know so much about [any topic.]" Instead of thinking your hair is too flat or too frizzy, think about how cute you look in a pony tail. It really makes a difference, I promise you.
5. Don't let other people put you down. More importantly, don't listen to them. I had a problem like this in my life. I have an ex-boyfriend that, when we were dating, would be quick to point out my ever-changing weight or body imperfections. He would even say these things in front of and to his friends! I have cried so many times over it and felt horrible about myself. But I really began focusing on loving myself for who I am. Needless to say, I told him to kick rocks. My life is so much better without that negativity.
6. Always be yourself. You won't find unconditional love or friendship under false pretenses. It can be tiring acting all the time, too! Who cares if you dance funny, or you can talk forever about cats, or you like country music? Enjoy yourself!

For years, I've battled depression and self-esteem issues. The above things have helped me to overcome them. They may seem simple. Sometimes, we just need a little reminder. Know that you are beautiful. Know that you are unique. Know that you are special. No one can take that away from you.