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Scene 12

by Ali Ryerse 4 months ago in interview · updated 4 months ago


Recently, I have noticed a rise in mental illness diagnosis. Especially in depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorders. When I asked Google what classifies you as having one, all it said was, "Conditions that affect mood, behavior, and thinking are what make up a mental illness disorder." That makes sense, however, I thought there was going to be more to it than that. The denotation to disorder is heavy, and a detriment to our own well-being. Oxford dictionary describes it as this, "--significant difficulty, distress, impairment and/or suffering in a person's daily life." If society was living in a state of impairment, we wouldn't have made it this far.

In the determination to get more answers, I started inquiring around to my peers by asking how they got their diagnosis, and more often than not, this was their answer, "My test scores were 80%, or higher, for signs exhibiting linear to my diagnosis." Interesting. I started thinking back on my experience, and my answer would be the same as well. Why isn't anyone questioning this method? If we are trying to discover a serious flaw in our neuroscience and psyche, why are we not utilizing the miracles of an MRI scan? I then started to think about the negative effects caused by trauma in the attempt to answer my own question. I came to the conclusion that the people who claim to care about our humanity are the same people making it impossible to get better. And due to trauma being a temporary set back to our soul not being whole, no one cares about it that much. After all, you can't make a profit or tax someone's internalized trauma.

I came up with this hypothesis: Trauma is the underlying issue causing symptoms of major depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder(s).

I asked some professionals to see if they backed up my realization and discoveries through asking similar questions, explaining my experience, and wondering if the majority of people are self fulfilling prophecies, instead of having a critical condition. Here are the texts from those conversations.

Asking, Dr. Wade Lueck, Professor at Arizona State University, P.H.D. Psychologist. (Disclosure: I asked him first so our conversation was a little different; he is not my Therapist.)

Me: I have a thought that hasn't left my mind.

Psychologist: Enlighten me.

Me: How many of us actually have a mental illness? The more I have observed, the new amount of diagnosis seems absolutely ridiculous. Oxford dictionary describes mental illness as being an impairment to, basically your livelihood. That's why medication was invented, right? To help you function.

Psychologist: Go on.

Me: I've been noticing everyone in their mother sharing what newly diagnosed mental illness they have. Sometimes, I saw people claiming they were diagnosed with 12 different disorders. Excluding borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, and some of the other major personality disorders that are tested very differently, why is there this sudden rise in depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and anger issues? Or, even ADHD.

Growing up, I always functioned on the level of finding solutions. Everyone has obstacles and my thought process was, how could I overcome this to be a better human for myself and everyone else around me?

I can't keep track of time? Set alarms until you get better.

Couldn't focus on my responsibilities? Interval your focus between obligation and personal pleasure in short bursts.

It seems like I forget a lot? Set alarms and reminders with notes to stay on track and focused throughout the day.

No one ever perceived this behavior as having ADHD. And I never jumped quickly to thinking something was wrong with me, until recently I got labeled with having it.

Psychologist: Makes sense.

Me: Has everyone truly tried to problem solve with logic and failed because they are THAT sick? Or, are we getting so used to never working on our developmental skills, it's resulting in a lack of accountability?

Psychologist: *Crickets.*

Me: Do you think trauma is also playing a huge factor as to the reason we are not trying? Because, I think maybe trauma has a HUGE part in determining our symptoms, and since all we're doing to determine is through a score on a test, we should be questioning everything even more.

On my self-growth journey and taking the time to really step back and analyze my behavior, I am way better than how I used to be because what I was doing all along, was healing. Especially being an empath and knowing who my mom was at such a young age, I spent a lot of time working around her negative effects on me. Not realizing this acknowledgement was healing on it's own, I am now starting to really benefit from the work I've done; I feel better, and act better.

Prior to that, throughout my adolescence, I would force myself to stay up for days because I was heavily convinced I would die in my sleep. I can take a step back now, and put together (as another example) that maybe my insomnia was stemming from the subconscious fear of death. Incorporating that into my chaotic neutral behavior and how manic and filled with rage I truly was, the possibility was never discussed and that's how I got labelled with Bipolar Disorder. My behavior was so bad, I lashed out a lot from a place of defense. And on the extremely hard days, I would turn to stabbing my pillows to feel that comfort. Some of those reactions came from being bully-triggered and one episode happened because my boyfriend at the time thought my haircut looked too masculine. (His terms, "like a boy.") What if it was because I grew up with my mom forcing me to earn her love, being ignored, too independent, too young, and last but not least, the many encounters of unfortunate sexual trauma I endured? Not because I have Bipolar Disorder, or ADHD. What if, it was my unresolved trauma resulting in bipolar disorder-like behavior?

I think more often than not, yes. What are your thoughts?

Me (cont): I overthink a lot, so sometimes it's hard to tell what's nonsense and what isn't. Despite now fighting the voice in my head to stay focused and not slide into the self-fulfilling prophecy hole, I feel like I've done well.

Psychologist: One of the many perks of having ADHD.

Me: Funny.

Psychologist: Nothing of what you said makes me doubt it.

Asking, Professor Murphey of the Lafleur Library-Working in the Common Sense Department.

Me: Maybe it's just the side of TikTok that I am on, but, it seems like there has been a rise in mental illness diagnoses. Are people really out here with serious illnesses? Little story: 👇

I've always struggled with a lot of things, but I just thought I was learning how to be a human. Who and what a human is. When I was faced with a particular obstacle, I found a way to overcome it. Recently, my therapist hasn't stopped throwing the label ADHD on me. I never made that connection that half my struggles would be considered ADHD and ever since her doing that, I haven't been able to accomplish or succeed in the things I was doing just to tackle the obstacle. I find myself saying, "It's because of ADHD."

Do you think people are becoming more of a self fulfilled prophecy just to get around working on something? That something being yourself.

If so, if more people had grown up learning how to grow and overcome what's hard, do you think there would be such a prevalence in the amount of people with mental illness?

Professor Murphy: I think mental illness has become TOO prevalent. It’s become a standard that if you are somehow abnormal from other individuals, even on a 1-to-1 comparison, then you have a mental illness. Even brief lapses in the ability to concentrate are now considered ADD or ADHD or even a form of autism. As far as self fulfilling? That’s true. When we suggest the limits to something psychologically, we invariably create those limits in ourselves and limit our potential. Think of Roger Bannister. All throughout human history, people said it was impossible to run a 4 minute mile. Nobody could do it. Until he did. Now, there are high school kids able to run 4 minute miles. Psychological limitations are the worst ones to put on ourselves (coming from a guy with Asperbergers)


Because of our unhealed trauma-bound soul, we are not being properly diagnosed or even tested. Trauma plays a bigger role within us than everyone realizes and I wish professionals tackled that more. I am very inclined to believe trauma is controlling our brain making it hard to control our basic human emotions and thought-processes. Our brains are so powerful, if we want to believe a lie all we have to do is tell ourselves it enough.

Harley Quinn and The Joker are great examples of this theory being true: Harley was a doctor before meeting The Joker, which means she is not insane, but became a role for someone else who is mentally ill.

If I remembered anything from psychology 101, is that placebos work better 50% of the time than the actual prescription itself. Do you think it's because we are not focusing on the right things? Or better yet, not being educated in the first place about every possible aspect? Absolutely.

Do your own research, think critically, and ask from peers. Gather as much evidence as you can before coming to a conclusion. Then, continue your research because that conclusion could change. Take the time to know yourself and recognize and think back as to why something is. Because, if everyone is truly this sick, how is mental illness not normalized at this point? Or that maybe, just maybe, "mental illness" is just another thing to experience as part of being human.

For more insightful and critically thinking discussions, pop over to Professor Murphy's Tiktok: @ProfessorMurphy. You won't be disappointed.

Stay Sexy.


Ali Ryerse

Instagram: alirye.

Read on and entertain yourself with my life stories, poems, and opinions of the world.

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