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Safe Haven

by Abbey Balamucki 6 months ago in selfcare

How it saved me from myself...

My new Safe Haven started!

My safe place otherwise known as my cozy corner started out as a corner in an old run down part of my former homes carport. I was in my early 30’s, a young mom of 2 young children and I had just had my entire world as I’d known it flipped completely upside down. I’d caught a flu like many people do except this was different, much different. I had never regained my energy. After years of an exhausting fight with numerous doctors I had gotten answers. Words I will never forget...NARCOLEPSY, REM BEHAVIOR SLEEP DISORDER AND SEVERE PLMD known as periodic limb movement disorder. It sounded like a foreign language. Yet this was reality, somehow my reality. As the shock slowly faded and the fog began to lift I heard NO CURE BUT YOU CAN LIVE A SOMEWHAT NORMAL LIFE WITH MEDICATION AND LIFE CHANGES. I just stared at the dr waiting on the punchline but none came. It was a very bittersweet day for me. I had finally gotten answers other than,”you’re depressed which is causing the severe fatigue” but I did not expect this. Now I had to process. It was definitely a lot to process. When I got home that day I needed space. To think, to reflect, to unpack everything I was feeling so I cleaned out a little area which would become my first ‘cave’ better known as CraftyGirlz that I eventually started a site on Facebook with showing my newfound creative side. This became my saving grace so when I bought my home a year ago a special friend built an add on for me to eventually make my own again. This is where I go to sit and think when my heart is heavy or I need to get away and soul search. For me to write, build or just be. It’s my serenity in a world I find I don’t fit in. I’m protected here with my ptsd, my depression and anxiety. From the hurts that occur in life that can just be too much sometimes. When I need a good cry or to jam to my music, LOUD and box until my arms are jello. Or just sit with my best friend, my boxer Rick James of 14 years. To breathe in the fresh air and hear the sounds of nature while I try to feel grounded somehow in my emotional quicksand. It’s not much but it’s mine and for now it’s my serenity. When nothing feels sturdy, it is. When I don’t know how I’ll make it through troubled times, my special place calms me somehow. It’s my therapy in a time when I need it more than ever. It’s much more than a cozy corner for me. It’s been my safe haven and saved me from myself. When I feel like the world is against me, it’s my shelter full of warmth, sanity and safety. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Abbey Balamucki
Abbey Balamucki
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Abbey Balamucki

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