Red Roses and Sparkling Wine

It started with red roses and sparkling wine. It was the charm turned on fully from the first moment, and I relaxed. Yes, I let him charm me.

I saw him walk towards me while he looked at me and smiled and I felt that I was alive. It was like I had come into a new space, a room full of light and warmth. He looked at me and I bathed in his gaze.

I thought: It’s good to be here.

I felt I wanted to be there. Full and complete. Long. I wanted more. It was like entering a new world. He smiled at me and I felt that I would be in that smile forever. He took a step back and asked me to come inside the door. I took the step into the hallway. I looked past him through the door to the living room.

There were candles on the table, and it was covered for two.

He made me feel very special. He made me feel taken care of. I could see in him that he was really interested in me.

He went out into the kitchen and came back in with a tray of two narrow, tall glasses and a bottle of prosecco. He put the tray with the bottles and the two glasses on the coffee table. Then he quickly went back to the kitchen and came into the living room with a beautiful bouquet of red roses. He stopped right next to me. I had to bend my head back to see him, and he gave me the roses with a charming smile.

I just stumbled out a “Thank you!”

He replied “Please!” and sat down on the couch close to me.

I felt his presence radiating down my body. I felt the heat rise in me, the good warmth that makes me relax. When it’s like that I become open, I become myself. I become the one I want to be and not the one I have been for so many years — I no longer feel like the tired and pale, middle-aged woman, the unfree, she who is a prisoner in her life.

He made me feel special. He made me special. I was suddenly a completely different person than the everyday person I am otherwise.

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I'm Eira.

I feel a little down now. As so often after we have been together. There is something that is not entirely good here.

I wasn’t evil-minded. I was just a little unhappy.

I just need to tell my story.

I hope that when you’ve read my story, you will believe what I say: I wasn’t evil-minded. I was just unhappy.

Whatever happens, I will stand for us and our love. I will escape from this boredom, from this trap — the marriage I’ve been in for too many years.

Actually, I don’t know why people come together. The real reason why they seek together and make love, make children. Not just one. Often two, three, four. Why’s that?

In the end, there is nothing but misery. In the relationship, they feel uneasy, uncomfortable. Sometimes one of them. Often both. They are unhappy. And then, when they feel this way, when they discover the impact and the triviality of life — their life, it’s too late.

I was there, in the middle of the triviality, the exhausting, breath taking crisis — already several years ago. We much too fast had passed through the friendly landscape of love, where we were diving in a sunny warm and hospitable countryside.

He and I — we were there for a moment. We lived and enjoyed life; we had this experience that life is good. On the way we could indulge us to love, we could let us be loved, we could play and laugh, and watch children growing up.

This is how we were thinking. On the road we would discover together the beauty in the other one, we would be able to discover the beauty around us, the beauty inside ourselves.

Doesn’t it sound good? Even beautiful?