Prioritizing Yourself: Self-Confidence VS Narcissism

Do you ever feel guilty when you prioritize yourself? When you don’t compromise on your needs, desires, or values?

This guilty feeling may lead you at times to think of yourself as self-centered or you may confuse assertiveness and self-confidence with narcissism.

The worst? In confusing between these three and fearing being the latter, you may start compromising on important things that matter to your wellbeing and feeling of self-esteem.

Having self-confidence and thinking about yourself does not make you narcissistic.

To help you embrace your self-confidence, here are some points that will clear up the main differences between these concepts.

Self-confidence vs narcissism

Self-confidence

When someone has self-confidence and is able to value their standards, achievements, and talents, they often worry about appearing narcissistic. Yet the differences are many. Do not be afraid to be labeled as “narcissistic” or “selfish” because you think of yourself.

Trusting your abilities and valuing yourself is a key element of self-esteem, self-love, and a healthy relationship with one’s self. Which is also the foundation of healthy relationships with others.

What is narcissism?

Narcissism rather refers to completely excessive self-esteem. This term can also be attributed to people whose self-confidence is completely disproportionate or excessive.

The narcissist has a distorted view of reality. He thinks he is superior and has an overrated conception of himself.

A narcissistic person becomes so fixated on himself that others no longer matter. This person has an excessive need to be admired, loved, and recognized. Despite their arrogance and their often condescending air, narcissists very often have actually very low self-esteem.

While a self-confident person measures what she is due in relation to her abilities, talents, skills, qualities, and values, a true narcissistic believes that everything is due to him regardless of his efforts, output or standards!

Main differences

Empathy

Someone who has self-confidence: Because he feels good about himself, he can listen to others and put himself in their shoes to better understand them. He shows compassion.

Someone who is narcissistic: He does not know empathy. The others don’t interest him. In fact, he thinks that others envy him and would like to be in his place. He is rather arrogant towards others.

Self-perception

Someone who has self-confidence: Everyone seeks to legitimize who they are; it’s normal. But this valuation is more internal and not based on self-image.

Someone who is narcissistic: Their self-perception is distorted. He maintains a cult of himself and his image is very important. His need is excessive and even obsessive. He believes so much that he is special that he is disconnected from reality.

Achievements

Someone who has self-confidence: He is proud of his successes and feels valued. But do not seek external recognition at all costs. Its value is internal.

Someone who is narcissistic: He overestimates his talents, successes, and achievements. He wants others to admire his prowess and notice him.

Relationship with others

Someone who is confident: They usually have a social intelligence that makes them focus on relationships. He wants others to succeed and doesn’t feel threatened by their talents or successes. He has a spirit of cooperation.

Someone who is narcissistic: He uses them to promote himself better. He is a manipulator. He is not interested in their life. He does not tolerate that others can succeed better than him.

Skills

Someone who is self-confident: He is proud of his talents, but he does not seek the approval of others at all costs.

Someone who is narcissistic: He exaggerates his talents. He needs to be admired.

Aim for balance

You can therefore continue to think of yourself and even become a priority in your life as long as this approach is well balanced. It is excesses that create imbalances and distractions. Take a step back from time to time to check if what you are doing makes sense to you.

Source: originally published on Simily