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Pot Gave Me Anxiety!

Twilight gave me my first panic attack... and then pot gave me more...

By Morgan MacDonaldPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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So I will never forget my first moment of “anxiety” or panic and what it brought. I was in the 5th grade and I went to the Twilight movie with my friends and their mom. I had read the book Twilight so I knew what to expect, for the most part, and didn’t think I would have a complete utter meltdown at the end of the vampire/werewolf love story. But when Bella was bitten at the end of the movie in her old ballet studio and there was blood and screaming I was instantly brought on with anxiety. And no not the type of anxiety where I freak out about my homework that’s due tomorrow. The type that I had never experienced before... palms sweaty, knees weak... yeah you know the rest. I literally felt like I was dying! I remember getting up out of my seat and running out of the theatre. I was literally about to feint and my friends mom (who thank God is a nurse) told me to put my head between my legs and eat some M$Ms. I remember my heart racing and having tunnel vision and being completely incapable of controlling my feelings. Two words: Panic Attack. In the fifth grade!

From then on I remember having anxiety that ranged from panic attack to social anxiety. I wasn’t actually treated for it until my sophomore year of high school. Ok story time. This one is good. So I was finally in the “cool kids” group at my school, I had lost weight and wore make up. I went to parties and even drank. So I eventually decided it was my time to smoke pot and become even cooler. Because you have to smoke pot to be cool right? My friend was going to be smoking before school on a Friday the day of a pep rally (Perfect opportunity right?!?) I was so freaking excited to hit the doobie with him before the homecoming pep rally. And me being the naive blondie I was, thought the pot would “pump me up” for this school parade.

We get in his car and go to the neighborhood close by our high school. The funny thing is we smoke out of a water bottle! What?!? I have never seen a contraption like this in my life!!!! And my poor 95 pound body takes probably 7 hits of this powerful stuff. So I don’t feel anything for a hot minute until suddenly all in an instant I am high as a kite. And it’s the Twilight movie all over again. Queue the Eminem song. Moms spighetti. My friend starts driving to school and my head is between my legs. I am not sure what’s happening other than my eyes are squinting and there’s no way I can walk into school. I tell him to take me home and he gets mad, whatever. I am quacking. Fast forward a few hours and I am laying in my moms bed with Gatorade in hand and ice on my head (Because stoned Morgan thinks she is dying always)

The next Monday I try and go to school (because why wouldn’t I?) and I get to my first period class, sit down in my seat and BOOM, panic attack all over again. It’s like there was a doobie in my breakfast or something! I was a mess. I had to go to the nurse all embarrassed like I was in 7th grade again and started my period. I remember the nurse telling me I needed to “get ahold of myself”, like that was possible. I was 16 and was terrified!

So this was how I got diagnosed with anxiety disorder. I went to a dance doctor that Tuesday and was given a little bottle of medicine that was used to treat anxiety. And from then on Morgan avoided pot and the end of Twilight.

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About the Creator

Morgan MacDonald

college gal committed to finding lifestyle hacks and the cutest outfits

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