People who live transparently often have these 4 characteristics

On the title page of "Life", Lu Yao wrote this passage:

"No one's life path is straight and without forks. Every wrong step you take can affect a period of your life or your entire life."

In this regard, a hot discussion was launched on the Internet: what should I do to live a good life?

The most upvoted answer is:

"Don't have any expectations for anyone, and don't try to change anyone easily. You understand the truth that different circles cannot be forced together, and you can accept what you can't do after working hard. That's enough."

In just a few words, summed up the philosophy of life.

A lot of times, being slick and worldly can protect people for a while, but often wisdom and open-mindedness can protect people for a lifetime.

Anyone who lives through it understands this principle.

Don't pin your hopes on others

In the novel "Wives and Concubines", Song Lian, a female student who had received a new education, but chose to marry into a wealthy family, went crazy in the end.

Writer Su Tong used line drawing to describe Song Lian's tragic life experience to the world.

The painstakingly managed tea factory went bankrupt, her overwhelmed father cut his wrists and committed suicide, Song Lian, who had only been in college for a year, had to drop out and go home.

In the empty house, Songlian, who lost her father's care, faced difficulties from her stepmother alone.

The stepmother asked her to choose to work or marry to support herself on the grounds that she was "incapable of raising her."

Without hesitation, Song Lian chose to "marry someone, and she must be rich."

The stepmother said strangely: "If you marry a rich family, then you can only be a child."

Ke Songlian doesn't care, she just wants to be rich and honorable, so that she can express her anger in front of her stepmother.

Finally, she got her wish and became the fourth concubine of the famous Chen Zuoqian.

That year, Songlian was 19 years old and Chen Zuoqian was 50 years old.

Originally, for the young Songlian, there are still many choices in life: work-study study, enter the narrow gate and make a smooth road; you can also choose to support yourself...

Either way, even if life is a little harder, it's still a little more dignified to live.

What she chose was a "shortcut", selling her youth in exchange for the protection of the Chen family.

The world's magic machine has no way, and the clever is mistaken by the clever.

There are always people who think that they have cracked the secret and that they can protect their future without worry. As everyone knows, there are no shortcuts in life, and there are only traps at the end of shortcuts.

The arrogant Song Lian never thought about this truth.

Of course, there are more than one wife in the Chen family in the deep house compound, and Song Lian ranks fourth.

Every wife is thinking about how to monopolize the favor of the master, and for this reason, the calculation of infighting has never stopped.

Song Lian foolishly thought that the eldest wife was old and pearly, the second wife was bloated, and the third wife was frivolous and vulgar.

Source: Internet

Relying on the favor of the master, his life is decidedly a life of fine clothes and jade food.

Unfortunately, she was wrong.

Song Lian, who has never been deeply involved in the world, does not understand the intricate human relationships and sophistication of the big family, nor does she have insight into the changes of the Chen family as the times change, nor can she let go of her wife's identity.

Her ignorance of current affairs aroused public anger, the master also lost tolerance and patience with her, the eldest wife reprimanded her face to face, while others saw the wind and ignored her...

Eventually, she went crazy.

Hayao Miyazaki once said:

"Don't put your expectations on others easily, it will become your habit. Whenever and wherever, learn to walk independently, it will make you walk more calmly."

Putting hope in others in everything and finding a sense of security in others will eventually bury hidden dangers for oneself.

don't try to change others

In "The Little Prince", the little prince who left the planet started his own interstellar journey.

He met a tossing king at the first stop.

When meeting the king, the little prince couldn't help yawning, and the king scolded him angrily: "I don't allow you to yawn, it's disrespectful."

When the little prince argued that it was because he was "tired from walking and couldn't hold back," the king said again: "Then you should fight a few more times, this is an order."

The little prince was at a loss.

Later, the king made a series of requests to the little prince: let him be the minister of justice, be the ambassador...

But the little prince had no interest in this.

Many times, people always have an obsession, that is, to change others.

But many troubles in life come from this.

The hardest thing in the world is to change others.

"Worth in the World" wrote: "Don't try to change a person, you will not only get the results you want, but you will also be in pain and unable to extricate yourself."

Colleague Erica experienced such setbacks.

Erica, a sales manager for a Fortune 500 company, had an employee who nearly broke her.

This employee relies on his own qualifications, and his performance is mediocre, and he is very disobedient to management.

At first, the two were on the same level. Later, Erica was promoted and became the boss of the old employee.

But the employee didn't take Erica seriously, and the messy sales performance has dragged down the team countless times.

In order to improve his performance, Erica suggested that he travel frequently to visit clients, but he refused: "There are patients at home to take care of, so I can't travel far. If I really want to go, I have to return the same day."

The speaker was fearless, and the listener was dumbfounded.

In order not to affect the team's performance, Erica can only think of ways to help him improve his business capabilities.

To this end, Erica worked hard to obtain training opportunities for him, and also reset the team's performance evaluation standards...

Unfortunately, all the efforts were in vain.

After tossing for more than a year, the exhausted Erica finally realized: "This person can't be changed at all, and he has to find a way to replace it."

Afterwards, Erica transferred him to deal with the after-sales service. Unsurprisingly, he was complained by the customer, and the customer service department returned him;

Erica also offered him a sales position in the outside area for him to participate in the competition. Sure enough, he refused directly because he was unwilling to travel.

Repeatedly for 3 months, the employee offered to resign and leave.

An anonymous tombstone stands in the basement of Westminster Abbey, England, with a passage engraved on it, to the effect:

When I was young, I felt that I was very capable and could change the world; when I grew up, I realized that the world was too big and I was too small, so I just wanted to change others. After experiencing setbacks, I finally understand that in this world, the only thing you can change is yourself.

with people of the same frequency

At the recording site of "Hundred Schools Forum", the keynote speaker Zhao Yuping asked the audience:

"If a crane stands in the middle of a flock of chickens, think about it, is the crane more uncomfortable, or the chicken more uncomfortable?"

Most people think that standing out from the crowd is like a dimensionality reduction blow: the crane will not feel uncomfortable, but the chicken will feel inferior.

But Zhao Yuping said:

"I think that crane may be uncomfortable. If the noble crane finally chooses to join the flock with the chicken, there will only be two outcomes, either being assimilated by the chicken or being driven to death by the chicken.

"This just verifies a law: the circle you are in determines your destiny."

It does.

In life, everyone lives in their own "circle".

If you want to live comfortably, you have to choose a "circle" that is on the same frequency as yourself.

The "circle" is like a mirror, witnessing the changes of the world, growth or decline, the circle will be obvious.

"Super Speaker" champion Liu Yuanyuan once shared such a story.

The teacher's daughter loves studying very much. She spends all her spare time on reading. She is full of thoughts on how to learn foreign languages ​​well, whether to go to the United States or Australia for university...

And the classmates around are always discussing the most celebrity gossip, and they are also thinking about how to put on makeup and how to make boyfriends.

The girls despise these unmotivated classmates, and the classmates despise the girl's "pretending to be strong" style.

Is this state very much like the crane in the chicken flock?

Cranes stand out among chickens, but chickens are not the place for cranes.

It is extremely painful to be in a circle that is not suitable for you.

It is a great blessing in life to connect with people of the same frequency and go hand in hand.

In order to leave this environment that does not belong to her as soon as possible, the girl secretly worked hard and finally got admitted to a famous school as she wished.

After that, everything changed.

The girl is surrounded by classmates who devote themselves to studying and have excellent grades. Everyone is focused on her studies, and the outside world will no longer affect her learning rhythm.

Here, girls feel like a duck to water, and don't have to worry about being a "misfit monster".

The so-called fools are gregarious, and the wise are the same.

On the road of life, it is a kind of luck to meet friends who "resonate with the same frequency" and have a comfortable circle.

No wonder Mo Yan once said that with people of the same frequency, having years to look back on is the most wonderful life.

reconcile with yourself

The song "Ordinary Road" has the following lyrics:

"I used to be disappointed and lost all directions until I saw that ordinary is the only answer."

In the comments section of this song, there is a message like this:

"When I was a child, I went to the market with my father to sell vegetables. I was scared and worried that my classmates would see me, so I tried my best to hide myself.

"Looking back now, that street, lined with green trees and mottled sunlight sprinkled on the bluestone slabs, if I didn't miss it because of hiding, it must be one of the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen."

Writer Dean once said that a person's maturity starts from accepting his own ordinary.

No matter how prosperous life is, it will eventually be ordinary.

Everyone believes that they will be extraordinary in the end, but there are always very few people who can truly reap that extraordinary life.

Some time ago, a video of three Peking University girls' lying 10 years after graduation went viral on the Internet.

In the video, the 32-year-old Shi Zhong was easily teasing his "childish" actions with the other two friends.

In 2007, the small town girl was admitted to Peking University.

When she went to Beijing alone, she sat in a taxi and said to herself excitedly, "The door to a new world is about to open for me."

In the days of Peking University, Shizhong persistently followed the path of "specializing in academics" that he had already planned.

To this end, she transferred from the law department to the Chinese department, and then read a master's and a doctorate.

But plans never change fast.

When she was about to graduate from her Ph.D., other students in her research group published an important paper in the same direction as her research.

This meant that she had to start from scratch.

Realizing that his talent and energy were not enough to complete his subsequent studies, Shi Zhong gave up his Ph.D. study in the fourth year of his Ph.D. and graduated with a master's degree.

At that time, she said angrily: "I have tried my best, but the door to the new world has not opened to me."

Years later, when discussing this matter again, she smiled lightly and said: "I have no regrets. I am an ordinary person. Since I have tried my best, I should not be harsh."

In life, the most important thing is not how to face the highlights of life, but after working hard, calmly accepting your ordinary and accepting the ending that is beyond your power.

Writer Zhou Guoping said:

"Everything in the world is extraordinary, and in the end, it must return to the ordinary, and its value must be measured by the ordinary life. Only by truly living the ordinary life well can life be complete."

This is not compromise, but transparency.

Don't be obsessed with "lost" and "ungained", and get your own happiness and beauty from ordinary life, this is the greatness of mortals.

A writer said:

"The hardships you suffer today, the losses you suffer, the responsibilities you bear, the sins you bear, and the pain you endure will all turn into light to illuminate your path in the end."

In life, the arbitrary starting point that God gives you is to give you the opportunity to be a person with a clear direction.

Even if you are born ordinary, you must live transparently and have the ability to make unremitting changes.

Only in this way will your progress become extremely firm, and you will have the opportunity to see a better world.

It is really more important than anything to have a transparent way of living.

mutual encouragement.