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People who are comfortable in conversation usually have these five characteristics

A person's internal quality characteristics, in the conversation almost revealed.

By John WilsonPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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Some people think that chatting is a science, some people think that chatting is the embodiment of emotional intelligence. In fact, the way we talk says a lot about our personality traits. A person's internal quality characteristics, in the conversation almost revealed. Some people always speak in secret, some people can't speak fast. Some phenomena, even if they happen to the person we're talking to, are actually projecting our own characteristics. Others speak covertly, because you are always denying each other; Others speak slowly, because you are too indecisive. You may feel awkward talking to some people. But there are some people you feel very comfortable talking to.

Frequently asked questions in the chat

Speak cryptically

When you talk to someone, you find that they are always secretive, always answering a question. In this case, the other person doesn't trust you. You need to examine yourself first, whether there is negative behavior. When someone expresses an opinion, you immediately reject it. Someone makes a suggestion and you turn it down in disguise. These questions indicate that you have spent some time together and the other person has a basic understanding of you. People don't want to talk to you because you're always saying no. If not, be honest first and create a safe boundary. Only in a safe atmosphere will the other person want to talk to you.

The conversation was too superficial

The purpose of interpersonal chat is to enhance each other's feelings, if the chat content is too superficial, it is difficult to achieve the purpose of enhancing feelings. By superficial, I mean some "safety topics". The topic itself has nothing to do with either person, or not much. The conversation will be more relaxed and neither of us need to worry too much. In general, it is better to talk about safety when two people are meeting for the first time. However, if they know each other for a long time and still stay on the topic of security, it is difficult for the relationship to progress. Especially in intimate relationships, you can start by talking about romance. After knowing each other for a while, it's time to talk about some down-to-earth topics.

5 Ways to Chat that make people feel comfortable

Don't be negative

No matter what someone says or does, don't directly contradict them. Everyone's idea is not the same, don't use their own ideas to evaluate others. Don't try to use other people's examples to negate their ideas. Make the conversation as supportive as possible and give the person a sense of support in order to feel comfortable. Not to deny others, does not mean to cater to others, but to allow different ideas to exist. Why do you sometimes feel that people do not want to open up to you, do not want to tell you the truth, is because you always deny each other. People know that even if they tell the truth, they will be rejected by you. They just don't say anything.

Don't express your attitude easily

Attitudes, opinions, beliefs, values, etc., are something that is written in our bones, something that knows our actions. Don't talk about these things all day, but put them into action. When you talk to others, if you always say these things, it is also a disguised negative. When you express an idea or attitude, people feel that if they don't agree with you, there will be conflict between them. People don't want to confront you directly, even if you're not in a good relationship to begin with. So, when you express your opinion, you unconsciously put pressure on others.

Don't fight for the spotlight

Everyone has a need for attention, and if that need is not met, emotional barriers can arise. It's all about you and me. It's about you or it's about me. If two people are talking about someone else who is not there, it is a sign that they are not on good terms. When the conversation is focused on the other person, if you force the conversation to focus on yourself, you will make the other person very upset. Although the mouth does not say, the heart will be uncomfortable. To get closer to someone, give them enough attention. Focus on itself, can enhance each other's feelings. For example, looking at people you know well with your eyes creates feelings.

Don't give directions easily

One of the most difficult things in human nature is to change others according to one's own perception. Everyone feels superior to their own values and tries to impose them on everyone else. Don't "pontificate", don't always point at others. In the process of chatting, pointing fingers at others' behavior and opinions is itself a disguised denial. When you want the other person to do something, it's not gratitude, it's instinctive defensiveness. The other person is thinking, are you trying to interfere in my life? "You're teaching me what to do? . Don't force advice on others when they don't need it.

Embrace the other person's emotions

Everyone gets angry, loses their temper, and has some negative emotions. It's self-preservation on the one hand, and emotional projection on the other. When people lose their temper with you, they are afraid of being denied, rejected and abandoned by you. In conversation, if you can accept all the other person's emotions, then you can create a safe boundary for the other person. This requires you to have strong inner strength to resist the other person's negative feelings. When the other person is overwhelmed with negative emotions, you can still respond positively and pay positive attention, and the other person will take back the negative emotions they created. He has developed a sense of trust in you and will never be angry with you again.

In fact, the above skills are the chat skills between the psychological consultant and the client. If each of us can be like a psychologist, the conversation can be comfortable.

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About the Creator

John Wilson

I am a freelance writer and I hope my articles will give you pleasure

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