Operation Self Reset

What is it that has to be done? A reset of some sort? Years ago there was a time when a mental reset was needed. To wipe the slate clean. Rebuild and receive the new even if it’s a repeat. Cleanse the soul and exchange the weight. Slowly remember the ties that bind. Warning to folks that still connect in present, hoping they do their part to reignite our resemblance.

The Struggle

Racing to feel understood, you make it hard to trust the deeper hooves. Knows you best, a crash course on you, wishing they would say the thing that would nib the insecurities straight out of childhood. First time for everything even when it’s last, scared to be present without being seen like glass. The struggle is real even for mental health, all these symptoms, that tell you, you’re never enough.

Friends and family that push you through, are there to remind you of your truth. To be scared is to not be catered to, given training wheels for only the youth. Out in the world being an adult looking for riches, suppose to be centered when your close ones aren’t ridged. The more you sink and feel unmotivated, the more you inherently push away the workers unwarranted.

The Attack

The pain you feel is the one you think is received, overwhelmed by words, thoughts, and beliefs. So much of it, you can't help but feel attacked, betrayed, or played with as if on a rack. Feeling like there’s a darkness in us all, one little thing to throw us back, sometimes it’s best to keep to yourself and take care of the things you lack. Those who reach out, that want the full scoop, might believe they’re ignored when you leave them out of the loop.

Actions take place out of fun or adventure, to let your guard down and feel less pressure. Moment rises to talk in peace, so you know that you’re not attacked but worried at least. Feeling too overwhelmed as if the odds are against you, people make decisions for you because you’re unable.

Self Esteem Overdrive

So many voices talking at once, makes you think that you’re doing something wrong. Constant mess up without remorse, self-sabotage because of the past pain and hurt. Told that you’re much more worth it than given credit, you seek out that feeling of “ah-ha!” To validate your moment. Afraid to let others understand because of your choices, fear of losing everyone due to misunderstanding voices.

A constant reminder of how much you’re loved, yet conversations build as if you’re never enough. Overwhelmed self-esteem with no way to handle it, thoughts of silence to cancel the preamble. Melancholy factors that do you in, like Hunter Hunter when Killua has a needle in him. Up and down like rollercoasters and ice, every day your head goes mental until you give up the fight. You turn it off like vampire diaries, not the humanity but the emotional economy.

The Reset

Left for dead you react and keep quiet to things that would trigger, thinking it would be much better if you just hovered and withered. A constant battle that some think is overdue, mental illness is real, just like me and you. Chasing Happiness is what seems to be the niche, with all being said you can't help but wonder if you can even accept yourself because of the things that you left under the bed. Masters of the night you keep pushing through, sleep through the mind games to wake up anew. Operation self reset to clear up your thoughts, and focus on the peace, that you built with the ones that constantly say, "I love you".