Okay

"It's OKAY to not be 'okay'." (Brian Stelter)

Breaking news: "On THAT day, in THAT moment, Brian Stelter used his platform to say something RELEVANT."

Stelter went on his show last Summer, smack dab in the middle of not only the Pandemic but in the midst of several States' lockdown orders, to be real with his viewers (and those who would see this clip thanks to Steven Crowder, Greg Gutfeld, etc.)

Say what you will about Stelter's voice or his mannerisms (if that's what makes you feel like you've accomplished something). Go ahead and address the fact that Mr. Stelter seems to be confused about the blurry lines separating an honest journalist and an ANALYST (Hannity, Cooper, and even Maddow know the difference and are at least honest about the distinction; so was O'Reilly).

However, for one bright and shining moment, Brian Stelter gave voice to his own struggles and to what A LOT of people were going through. You see, while last year's Lockdown mandates may or may not have protected peoples' PHYSICAL health, being SEPARATED from family, friends, neighbors, and the opportunity to work did NOT do wonders for the same peoples' MENTAL or EMOTIONAL health. And even CNN's handsomely paid talking-heads weren't immune from NOT "being okay."

It is OKAY to not be "okay" all of the time.

In the era of Social Media, we NOTORIOUSLY only post the "good" news as our friends, family, and acquaintances celebrate only the good stuff. We do this because we have, likely, seen our online friends only ever do the same.

There is nothing wrong with looking on the up side of a bad day; and there is DEFINITELY no shame in sharing the good news (the new job, new puppy, engagement, exciting relationship, overdue vacation, well-deserved night out, long-awaited GOOD news in a loved one's health, etc.). Maybe even sugarcoat the more "marginal" stuff beneath the spectrum of "it could be worse."

But, life is not ALWAYS sunshine and roses for ANYONE (ask the media personality who, at least once on his program, was honest about his own struggles and, in THAT moment, said something I would agree with). People get their hearts broken. They watch an unrequited crush end up with someone BESIDES them and are stuck in the limbo of seeing them get the happiness that they deserve; and knowing that that other person will NEVER be them. They worry about the health of loved ones; and sometimes, tragically, have to watch them die with no way to save them (See "The Pandemic" and "2020"). They feel isolated and abandoned (see "The Lockdowns" and, also, "2020.") They can be surrounded by friends and people; and still feel like an outsider. (Hmm; do you think that I speak from experience on some of these?)

...and WHO is in an all-fired hurry to share THOSE statuses?

"What will my friends and family think of me?"

(Those friends and family: "How are we supposed to REACT to this? What should we say? Should we respond at all?")

For me, I am kind of a mess (and, I'm guessing, most of us are. Yes; even our persecutors. We ALL have our defense mechanisms). I have always conflated my self-image with my body-image (to the point where I've been using the FitBit now for close to six months and have to depend on EVERYONE ELSE to tell me [or not] about the results that THEY see as I'm not seeing them in my own reflection). I have been single my entire life, well into 3/4s of the way into my 36th year. I don't drive. I'm back at home with my folks again. The only "publishers" that call me about my books are scam-artists running "Vanity Publishers" because (likely) the Self-Publisher that I entrusted with my close to 15 self-published works has been selling my contact information (We've reached the point where THEY are the only ones voicing any INTEREST in my writings lately). I can feel surrounded by adoring friends one minute; and alone against a tide a second later with zero understanding of the paradigm shift. (Asking me what's wrong WOULD BE the right thing to do if only to show your concern; if even I could OFFER YOU a straight answer). I had gone through close to nine months working ONE job at 9 hours/week for biweekly pay up until very recently where 9 hours a week at ONE job just became 13 and a Half hours at that job and 9 hours per weekend at a SECOND part time job.

WHY am I airing all of this out here to you?

Because, sometimes, I do use my social media accounts to be honest. Sometimes, it IS okay to share something that is true. (Even on the internet. BE a part of the "10% of what you see on the internet.")

And it's not just a rambling, run-on article.

When anxiety, depression, and loneliness have put me through the ringer for long enough, I finally reach out on Social Media ("Would like to request.../Could use some.../...smiles or prayers; whichever you believe in.")

When dealing with the loneliness of singleness, I'll reach out to Facebook AGAIN ([My favorite Valentine's Day Status] "Praying for my future girlfriend/fiancee/wife...").

When struggling by putting applications out there for second-part-time work (NEVER bashing the current employer over this), I wrap "...pray for me."

...Just last weekend after dealing with my FIRST round of REALLY difficult customers at my secondary job, "(no specifics that could get me in trouble) ...but I now know what my favorite people in the service industry go through. Mad respect..."

My point being that, on OCCASION, I CAN share the "bad days" on Facebook. And the responses that I was so worried that people wouldn't know what to say; they're out of no less support than I usually show to others (and, sometimes, the outpouring of love is MORE than I deserve).

That's all well and good too; it means that I have a great online community of correspondences. But what about FACE-TO-FACE; even the stuff that I WON'T share on Social Media (90% of the time, the times that I'm in the wrong and have CAUSED a misunderstanding).

We'll take the subject of "Criticism" for example (but not very well). I'm 50/50 between fight and flight, depending on the validity of the criticism (I'm my own worst critic; and any OUTSIDE criticism is almost always treated as 10x more Valid than even the speaker intended). The problem is that, by the time that I CHOOSE "Fight-or-Flight," something volatile and reactionary is the result.

"Fight," by now, means "verbally defending my reputation/...that of someone else;" albeit in an embarrassingly loud, angry, and cracking voice...

...and "Flight" means finding a corner and letting the tears flow (if I go to the trouble of finding a corner first).

Woof; okay, THAT was difficult (but not impossible; see?) So, WHY did I just turn my Vocal community into a personal therapy session? WHAT was the purpose?

It DOES go (slightly) deeper than just sympathy. I'm being honest because, honestly, I am NOT always "okay" (and if you ARE, I'd love to sit down, have a wrap session, and learn your secrets). And it is OKAY to be honest (at least with your core group of trusted loved ones) about that.

Seriously; meet and pick a core group of confidants who you feel can be TRUSTED in the bad times as well as the good. Give them a call when the chips are down. Because NO ONE is "okay" all of the time; and THAT'S okay too.

Take a bow, Mr. Stelter; almost a year ago, you were RIGHT about something. And, in all seriousness, thank you again for the courage to say what so many were thinking...

...Final thought: "NO ONE should take the opposite extreme and go full-on pessimist, glass-half-empty, gloom-and-doom ALL OF THE TIME, over EVERY event, either..."

Thanks for joining the author on this ride.

If you enjoyed what you read and want to leave a "Heart"/"Share" this around/even "tip" me, that's okay (and, of course, appreciated).

If, after a dry-read, you prefer to go on with your day, that's okay too and thank you for the dry-read.

Much appreciated.

Write On, fellow Vocalists.