Narcissist Parents

Especially when one comes from a seemingly good home-dad is working, mom staying home to look after the kids, this phenomena is often overlooked. From the outside people think the parents are wonderful and supportive and it appears so on the outside. What they don’t know is what goes on behind closed doors. Some parents are complete narcissists and use so many forms to control their children. Narcissistic personality disorder is when a person demands admiration at any cost. They do not care whom they hurt and how they get it. They have a high sense of self and do not know they are doing anything wrong. Here are signs your parents were narcissists.

You may have low self-esteem

Low self-esteem is very common from someone raised by narcissists. Parents may have had unrealistic expectations and not had validity to your authentic self. More than likely you could not live up to their expectations and started to feel broken inside.

2- They have an intense reaction to any form of criticism: if you have ever seen narcissists in general they feel they are perfect and cannot be changed. They can’t ever respond well to criticism. If you did ever tell a narcissist parent they were wrong they would use unnecessary punishment against you. They would be the classic parents to say move out, or my house my rules.

3- Your parents had a favourite child-while the roles can switch from day to day there was a kid who could do no wrong and a black sheep who sustained so much blame. Narcissists have favourites but never admit to it. They willingly shame and humiliate one child as their unwilling dumping point. The black sheep child may be blamed for everything and usually does not have a good outlook in future.

4- You are walked all over: as a kid and as an adult you are a pushover. Your needs never are met and in not fighting for yourself you end up never tending to your own needs. This further leaves unhealed trauma for when the child becomes an adult.

5- You are dealing with chronic shame:-Shame and guilt are natural for spawns of narcissists. Parents may tell their kids you are too fat, your hair is a mess and be overly critical when finding one’s identity is so important. One may develop an unhealthy obsession to perfectionism which can lead to pathological tendencies which I will get to in a moment

6- You struggle to set proper boundaries: your parents never gave you space. They went through your belongings in order to be critical. They went through your stuff and would walk into the room without any invitation. They inhibited any privacy. If you ever asked to be alone they wouldn’t do it. This leads into the individual not having boundaries as an adult. The child may need co-dependency and may be overly clingy to one’s who care.

7- You engage in self-destruction behaviour: one may start to internalize pain and start drinking, abuse drugs or develop other sorts of addictions. Some may have trouble with constantly needing intimacy and may develop sex addiction. Most emotional eaters were born of some sort of childhood trauma.

8- You may have been controlled through co-dependency: another word for this is emotional incest. The term is just as dirty as it is traumatizing. The parent may use you as a dumping ground for their anger. They may say things like don’t ever leave me and not meaning it healthily may say what will I do without you. They may use you for their own emotional needs.

9- You we're gaslit by your parents: your parents may have manipulated you into thinking you did things you can’t remember doing-as likely they didn’t happen-to control you. They say hurtful things and make you seem like you are unstable to make themselves feel more wholesome.

10- You're experiencing depression and anxiety: It is no accident that people who had narcissist parents will have depression and anxiety and anything in between. The lasting trauma has to be dealt with for a positive outcome.

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