My Story / Be Yourself

From the age of ten; I began to realize that I was different from most people. My anxiety disorder was still years from being diagnosed. Thus it affected me quite deeply. I was always too afraid to speak out in class, too nervous to make real friends, and I still am. My father is an alcoholic and always has been. I can remember him being intoxicated almost every night, always verbally abusing my mother. My sister and I would always lock ourselves in a room and try not to listen. To this day, his alcoholism has affected me tremendously leading to a strained relationship with my father. These obstacles made me want to help others that have gone through the same struggles, and it has made me want to be hard working, dependable, and supportive.

I was born with mild cerebral palsy and hip dysplasia. As far back as I can remember, I had always been in special education classes. At the age of ten, my mother and the school decided to introduce me into regular education classes. They transitioned me into these classes little by little. Although it was good at the start, I began to realize how different I was from everyone else, and I realized how much I was struggling. I was not made fun of, but I felt alienated. Even in middle school, nothing changed I still struggled tremendously. In sixth grade I fell into deep depression and agoraphobia. I began using drugs and later alcohol because I thought they helped, but they were merely an illusion that later became my addictions.

I’ve had trouble overcoming my addictions but, with the support of a close friend I quit those vices. Although my mother and sister knew nothing of my addictions, they helped me overcome my depression. My mother is the strongest women I’ve ever met even though she always told me I am her rock. When I had suicidal thoughts, I knew she truly cared and that she still needed me. She and my sister raised me even with their own struggles I’ve watched my mom struggle to pay bills and pay for the things my sister and I needed. These are the people who shaped me to become who I am today. These obstacles gave me goals, gave me ambition

I have written poetry and rap since I was in 7th grade, and music helped me realize that I wasn’t the only one that went through depression and that I could help others that went through this struggle also. Writing music also helped me as an outlet and prevented me from continuing into my own psychosis. It intrigued me the craft, the sound, and the versatility of the music, and over time it became my passion to create music that I could be proud of but also help others.

These opportunities gave me the ambition to want to go to college to study music and to inspire and help kids that have gone through the same struggles. I want to use my music to let others know that they aren’t alone and that other people in the world feel the same way. I just want to be a relatable public figure to help out those who also struggle with depression or anyone who can relate to these struggles. Made me who I am, made me want to turn something I love into something that can help people.

My advice to anyone struggling with trouble fitting in or dealing with depression, anxiety or any struggles. Be yourself, don't let anyone tell you that you don’t fit in or weird being different is what makes you amazing. There are always other people who are similar to you who you can connect with and make true friends with. Love yourself for who you are and so the world that being weird is badass.