My Recovery Journey

Hey guys, let me introduce myself. My name is Brittany-Amber, some call me Bamber; and I am in long term recovery from IV drug use. I am 10 months sober and recovered. I was in active addiction for nearly a decade, and the father of my children and I used to both be in active addiction for close to 5 years together. In that addiction, I got pregnant with my son Jax (although I was clean during this pregnancy) born 2015, my daughter Nola born 2017, and my brand new son Kylo born in September of this year, 2019. We’ve both tried sobriety and recovery before they were conceived in 2014, but it did not stick. I finally began my real journey towards recovery from active pain pill, IV use of heroin, and IV use of methamphetamine addiction. The father and I were both on all of these together. I went for recovery, with a relapse in between, and back to recovery, although he never stopped. Since I went to my first rehab in Georgia in June 2018 (Dalton, my children, my parents, and I all are from Tennessee), I have signed guardianship to my parents of my two children Jax and Nola (to live with them in TN until I get back on my feet and enough to move back home and take them back). In September 2018 (on my daughters first birthday) I not only relapsed, but I used a needle for the first time with a guy I met in rehab, and was high by the time I sang "Happy Birthday" to my daughter over Facebook video messenger that evening. I was so torn up about having to sing "Happy Birthday" to her on the phone in another state because I had screwed my own life up that I used that day and let that be my justification instead of my strength. After that day I continued my relapse and even moved back to Tennessee to be with Dalton in active addiction and stayed there with him at his mother's house until February of this year. On February of this year, my parents picked me up to go to rehab again to finally get my kids back since I ended up missing Christmas and was starting to severely worry my parents. When they picked me up, I hugged Dalton and said goodbye, and was escorted out to the ambulance by the cops who were called because I was so violent when it came time to leave for rehab. I ended up staying with my parents for five days in their camper to detox on my own. I couldn’t blame them for having me detox cold turkey because of all the times I detoxed using a facility before did not work and I know I wasn’t covered by medical insurance and it would’ve cost too much. I knew I had to do it. Once almost over withdrawals, my parents took me to a 14 month program called Adult and Teen Challenge in Tennessee where I had already been accepted. I arrived, and started my moving in process, was searched and drug tested, only to find out I was pregnant and would no longer be accepted. That very day I was sent straight to Missouri Teen Challenge. I did leave, but only to go to a program closer to my children back in Georgia. I am now almost 10 months clean and sober, have a healthy 2 month old baby boy, and am working my recovery program everyday. I recently graduated from my program in Georgia, and plan to move back home to Tennessee with my new son Kylo and my boyfriend, whom is also in long term recovery, by the beginning of 2020. However, their father is still using and is in and out of jail. We are are not together anymore and I’ve tried my hardest, many times, to get him to go to rehab and find the happiness and peace with himself that I have found. So basically, I know I’m far from perfect, but if my story can help even just one soul, it was all worth it. I want to offer my experiences, strengths and hopes to anyone who reaches out to me according to the twelve step program and twelve traditions through sharing different steps of my journey. Thank you!

Bamber