My New Year's Resolutions

I have many New Year’s resolutions for myself, but unlike many of my peers, mine are all about keeping my mind and/or my body relaxed and happy. The first one is technically regarding how my resolutions are made: instead of a big goal, I’m going the more relaxing route of utilizing simple, small goals that add up to big changes! For the purpose of this article, we'll count that as a how and not as the first goal. lol

My first goal is one that I’ve had for years: keep up on my journal. Not only does writing relax me, but it also clears my mind and helps release the stress of replaying the same incident repeatedly (Thanks, anxiety!). My journal is a history book of my life: my thoughts, my feelings, and my experiences are all documented. That means that this goal also allows me to relax about the future. Plenty of my peers, who happen to be much older than me, have often lamented the lack of a memoir of their lives. Keeping up to date on my journal will help keep my little anxiety cloud away because I won’t have that regret when I reach my golden years.

My second goal is a newer one: braid my hair at least 5/7 times each week at bedtime. My hair is long and gets tangled easily. When my hair is tangled, it takes longer to brush it out in the mornings. My hair also seems to be directly connected to my brain because the more tangled it is, the more tangled my thoughts are and the harder my day is – including getting it brushed! So, the plan is to spend the extra 10 minutes before bed to brush and braid my hair in order to enjoy a more relaxing start to my morning.

My third goal is to make time to just be with my family. I grew up watching the adults always be so busy and productive. In my mind, I try to keep up with that image. However, I also remember how special it was to me (as a child) when one of the adults temporarily forgot about the to do list and just was with me. It didn’t really matter what we did, just that I knew they were right there in the moment with me.

As a mother, I worry constantly that as my kids age, they won’t feel as close because I didn’t do enough for them. I believe a lot of Mom’s feel that way. However, it is also hard for me to just be. Just being truly makes me anxious, but I know that for kids, it is important. As they age, it will help relieve some of that anxiety that they will grow distant if I spend time one-on-one with them on a regular basis.

Why does just being make me nervous and anxious, you may ask? Well, it is due to a few different reasons. Growing up, there was so much work that it seemed never ending and I’d get in trouble for wasting time on a regular basis. Then there is the fact that I’m a mom. Looking at the media, you can never be enough as a mom. Never. Then you add my mental health into it, and it truly feels like I have to do more than just your average mom to prove that I am stable and able to appropriately care for my children. If an average mom’s home is a mess, oh well, she’s having a bad day. If a schizophrenic’s house is a mess, maybe she needs hospitalized! Whether it is real or just my anxiety getting to me, the feeling is real and intense.

So, not worrying about the warm pile of laundry on the couch to play cars with my son and daughter for 15 minutes is hard and stressful for me. However, making it a goal to do it, doesn’t just mean a better relationship with my kids. It also means that my body gets a break from the workload that I often subject it to.

My last goal is super simple, but surprisingly hard for me to do – and almost everyone I meet with mental health troubles agrees with that sentiment. It is relaxing, rejuvenating, and good for you – however, it can be a real struggle for people like me. Take a shower. Wash the dirt off your body, the tears that may be flowing down your face, imagine your troubles melting off your back and disappearing down the drain. I typically take mine before bed and it helps me sleep better. As an extra bonus, if you go to bed clean, the sheets don’t need washed as often. 😉

No matter what your goals are though, if you simplify them and prioritize your needs (including the future needs that you will regret not doing), I truly believe that your New Year’s resolutions will stick. Give yourself patience and grace though. Even if right now, you aren’t doing your goals, just remember – tomorrow can be the start of a new year for you. My journaling started when my son was born. Here’s a hint: he wasn’t born New Year’s Day. 😉

If you enjoyed reading this, consider leaving a heart, sending me a tip to fund babysitters so that I can continue to write, or by sharing this with someone who might need to be reassured that their simple goals are indeed valued in a world where bigger goals are oftentimes viewed as “better.” Whether they are mothers and/or have a mental illness, I hope this piece encourages them.

Thank you and have a great day!