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My Latest Experience with Fear

by Carlos Velasco 12 days ago in selfcare

And how I could handle it to perfection

Photo by Guilman from Pexels

Yesterday I had quite an experience that made me think to myself to a great extent.

To give you context here…

It’s the holiday season and, about a week ago, one friend of mine, from college, invited me to go to his house because he was going to host a reunion with his friends. An important thing to know: I have only seen him once and I didn’t know any of his friends.

When I got the invitation I was excited of course, but yet this irrational feeling inside of me was present. That feeling was telling me that I shouldn’t go because it would be a total disaster since I would be the only one that nobody knows about. I decided to not identify with that feeling and I confirmed to my friend I would go to his event.

Days passed by and I wasn’t feeling that sensation at all, unlike the day he invited me. Until the day event arrived. I was feeling this constant pressure over my heart that I couldn’t get rid of. It was like fear was taking control over me, and I couldn’t understand why, at the end of the day it was just a simple gathering with some of my friend’s friends. Nothing to worry about. But inside of I was feeling the complete opposite.

This sensation provoked the thoughts of making an excuse and not going at the end, which made me realize something. I’m making this situation bigger than it is in my mind, and that’s what fear is all about. With that understanding, I decided to go to the party, regardless of the incoherent emotions I was having.

And I had a wonderful time with my new friends! It was exciting chatting and getting to know them. I haven’t had such fun in a long time, and that was all thanks because I could see my fears and go beyond them.

The great things in life are beyond fear

When I arrived home, I started to recap all the good moments that I had in my friend’s house. And then, I started to think about the lesson that is trying to be learned here.

All of the great time that I had was thanks because I could go beyond fear. And that’s what life is all about. Facing, acknowledging, and acting against your fear.

Fear is a natural reaction of the body when it feels something dangerous or threatening.

So, if it’s in our body’s nature, why do we reject it so much? Well, because fear tends to take control over our body, and that ultimately results in not achieving the things we want. That’s why we don’t like to feel fear.

But realistically, fear is inevitable. I like to look at fear like the following quote:

“If you don’t have fear, then your goals aren’t big enough” -Sergio Dipp

I also like to have the mentality that if I don’t have fear over something that my mind tells me it’s important, then it’s not worth as much as I think is worth.

Fear is such a human thing to experience, that is misconceived as something wrong. Fear, instead, is another indication that we are alive. That we are living a dignitary experience that is worth telling.

Fear is something that you feel, not something that is real

I had fear yesterday in such an irrational situation. It’s funny to me now actually. But 24 hours ago, it wasn’t funny at all.

Like I said before when I realized that I was making the issue bigger in my mind, I could face the fear and confront it.

Let’s stay with that phrase. “Is bigger in my mind”. What does that mean?

It means that the REAL situation that’s happening in the REAL world, is not worth worrying about. But the mind thinks otherwise. The mind is being programmed that in any situation involving getting out of your comfort zone, then the circumstance means danger.

Why danger? Because it’s unknown, unpredictable. We can’t tell how things will go, so our mind prefers not to do it, because the lack of action is something that our brain can predict, unlike accomplishing the action.

For the mind to succeed, it begins to tell us things that will make the situation bigger, and therefore act as the mind wants. That’s how fear can take control over our bodies without us knowing it.

To close…

Fear is a natural reaction of the body towards something our mind categorizes as dangerous.

Fear is natural, yeah, but it prevents us from living fully.

Getting out of your comfort zone will make you live experiences you can’t achieve by staying where you are. You have to get out to get the most out of life, and fear is there to precisely avoid that.

Next time that you feel fearful, understand that what you fear is exciting, interesting, and worthy of trying.

And remember to yourself that if you can’t beat the fear, then just do it scared.


Carlos Velasco

Read next: 10 Things I Obsess About

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