My Last Words to Society

Dear society,

I am a fifteen year old high school student, and I’m sorry, but I cannot live like this anymore. The expectations you place on us, the pressure you put us under, the lessons you teach us, the terror you put us through. It is unbearable. Almost everyone I know in school is depressed because of modern society. I don’t get the point of living in this damned world if all it brings me is suffering. The number of teenagers that I personally know that have self harmed, considered suicide, or even attempted it is way too high. I am doing this because I can’t handle it anymore, but also to spread a message. Things need to change. Now.

Teens grow up being taught that you aren’t going to be successful unless you have a GPA that is above average. Guess what? Less than half of students are above average, so that means that over half of students believe that they are not going to get into a good college or get a good job. They believe they are going to fail and be poor adults unless they marry rich. I had straight A’s all through middle school and was pressured to take all honors classes in high school, because “colleges like that.” I was overloaded and stressed. My teachers didn’t make it any easier. Some were very compassionate and helped me through my stressful times, but others said they just didn’t care. They just kept piling work on me. One teacher gave me a long, detailed essay, a project, and an annotated 374 page book, all due at one time. At the same time, I was juggling science labs, orchestra lessons, dance classes, and sometimes over six quizzes per week. I had so many mental breakdowns over the amount of work I had. School consumed my life. One time, I got a 74 on a quiz and had a panic attack because I thought my career was over. I was fourteen at the time. I should not have to worry about that yet, but I can’t stop now. Everyone thinks of me as an amazing student. That’s what I have going for me. I can’t give that reputation up. I need to go to Cornell and become a doctor and live in a fancy house and have tons of money. Not really. That’s just what people say they expect from me, and it makes me think that I have to live up to that. People need to stop telling kids that they won’t be successful if they live a certain way. They need to stop pressuring them to overwork themselves to “succeed.” People need to relax. Let go of the stereotypes and the things people have told you.

As I said before, it is thought that you cannot be successful unless you have an outstanding GPA, or you marry rich, but what rich guy would marry an ugly girl? In order to get the guy of your dreams, you have to look like the girl of his dreams, AKA Barbie, right? I have to be “pretty,” more like plastic. I have to exercise and eat healthy while balancing school. I can’t show my acne so I have to get up an hour earlier to put on a full face of make up. I have to wear a corset to make my body more like Kylie Jenner’s. This is so wrong. I have to face my “unsatisfactory” body in the mirror daily. People tell me I'm “hot” or “thicc” all the time, so that’s good. I am considered pretty in society’s eyes, apparently. I don’t like the fact that people idolize me for my body, but they do, and I can’t disappoint them. However, when I look in the mirror I feel like I have, so I have failed and I can’t let people see me slowly become the ugly, fat girl I can see myself becoming. Another reason why I am doing this: appearance expectations. Once again, people need to let go of what’s beautiful and what’s not. Everyone is beautiful. No one should have to change the way they look for society’s pleasure. However, they do need to change the way they think of others’ appearances.

While I want to look naturally beautiful, like Zendaya, I am also scared to. Girls have been told that, if they don’t want to be harassed, they shouldn’t show off they’re body, but if they want to be considered beautiful, you have to. At thirteen, I was a D-cup, but that doesn’t give the man who looked to be in his thirties a right to cat call me at the beach. I remember walking down the boardwalk and seeing him look at my body and then yell, “hey, nice ass!” as I walked away. He was most likely over twice my age. I was terrified. Terrified that he would follow me, or touch me, or harass me more. Let girls wear what they want, and don’t think you can harass them just because you can see some skin. Allow girls to feel safe again. Also, allow people to feel safe again, in general. Get rid of the things that cause fear and harm, like semi-automatic rifles. Get a grip on public safety so that it’s one less thing we need to juggle in our balancing act of stress and anxiety.

This next reason isn’t entirely society’s fault, but there is more that people can do. Mental illness. Some people are just sad. They can’t control it. Although many times societal expectations causes depression and anxiety, not always. Either way, we need to make it widely excepted. People should not be afraid to reach out for help. They shouldn’t have to cry to themselves, cut themselves, contemplate suicide to themselves. They shouldn’t go through these hard times without support from others. Make it known that it is okay to be this way. Make it known that there are so many people just like them. Make it known that it gets better. Make it known that there are ways they can get help.

Before I say goodbye I want to point out one more thing: Many people abuse drugs. Whether it is nicotine, tobacco, marijuana, alcohol, or any other substance. It is thought that this is because people think it’s “cool.” But that’s not the main reason. Yes, some might do it for popularity, but most do it as an escape. It’s a way to take a break from the pressure that is constantly being put on you. Weed helps me relax. Alcohol helps me release all my stress and thoughts and emotions. Everyone has their own reasons for using illegal substances, but I know many do as a way to take a break. Don’t blame this abuse on peer pressure. It is society’s fault. Yeah it’s alright to have fun every once in a while, but substance abuse is where it gets scary. This can lead to other abuses and addictions, and this could lead to destroying someone’s life. People shouldn’t have to rely on illegal drug use for happiness. Happiness should be naturally found.

This is it, society. I don’t want to live in a world full of fear, hate, violence, judgement, and expectations. It is your fault that I can no longer bare this world. I will never fall in love, graduate, experience college, get married, have kids, or meet my grandchildren. My little sister will have to hear the news that her best friend and older sibling has died. It’s no one’s individual fault. I have amazing friends and family; they would never hurt me. However, society has. It hurt me so badly that I am willing to kill myself in order to escape it’s wrath. So goodbye. I hope that my death could lead to a little bit of change.

Sincerely,

A Modern High School Student

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Dear readers,

I am not actually committing suicide, but if I were, this is something like the letter I would write. Please spread this message. It needs to be heard. Everything, besides me actually killing myself, is true. I am a fifteen year old high school girl and I have struggled with depression, self harm, and suicidal thoughts, and I know many people, a number much too large, who have as well. If you are considering suicide, please reach out. Like I said in the letter, you aren’t alone and things will get so much better. My friend once told me “time heals everything, after every low there comes a high.”

I hope that society can begin to view things from a different perspective, and it can start with you. Attempt to let go of expectations and stereotypes. Try to look at everyone with a new set of eyes. Like a baby’s. They don’t see race, gender, weight, or beauty. They don’t see stereotypes. They just see people. Everyone is equally beautiful and amazing. Try to look at people with innocent eyes again. I hate to add one more ball to your juggling act, but a movement of change could end up taking away some of those other balls later on. It might be hard, but it’s the only way change is going to happen. Thank you for taking the time to hear my personal thoughts. Hopefully some of what I have said can positively impact you in some way.

Love,

A Modern High School Student