So, to explain the photo, this was a test strip that I used to test the remaining paraphernalia I had left, after I had overdosed and nearly lost my life to fentanyl. Like most people I started with a Percocet prescription from the “doc” aka my dealer. Soon enough you realize these grab ahold of your life and they do not let go. Soon the dosages aren’t enough and you resort to buying your pain medication on the street. I lasted about 10 years of just using what doc prescribed, but soon enough I was searching the streets of a very dangerous neighborhood, basically racially profiling anyone I thought could get me what I needed. (I had heard from some friends certain blocks have guys standing outside selling them). After about 3 hours of paranoia and debating wether or not to get out of my car I met “T”. He was as friendly as your local deli lady, asked me what i needed and, let me tell you his customer service was bettter then Walmart’s lol. But anyway, I proceed to wait on the corner of a street where 15 other dealers are standing trying to get their money. “T” returns with the Percocet, something seemed different about them but I figured hey it might’ve got messed up during shipping whatever excuse you tell yourself because you value safety less then getting high when you an addict. I even approached it somewhat smart, did half my usual dose to make sure nothing was wrong with them... seemed to be working. I take my normal dose and two hours later I wake up in a hospital, with a breathing tube down my neck because it was laced with fentanyl. And my heart had stopped my lungs would not operate on their own, I was damn near a vegetable. I’ll never forget the pain on my mother’s face... I nearly lost everything I loved, and destroyed the ones who love me...
And a doctor started me on this path...
I don’t blame him for my lack of self control, but anyone who reads this understands it ain’t easy folks.
Moral of the story, I am 3 years clean as a whistle not even marijuana witch I used to believe was no worse then Tylenol. My life has changed ten fold, I drive a brand new Audi, I have a wife who loves me....
But best of all I have MYSELF back.
When your getting high opiates specifically, you become numb, I mean to the point you couldn’t cry if you wanted to.
That first week of withdrawal after I got out of the hospital caused me the most pain in my life, and I’ve been stabbed in the stomach before (another story lol)
That pain made me who I am today and without almost losing my life I’d still be doing what I was.
I was the worst of the worst I robbed my friends I stole from my family, lost every friend I had... burnt every bridge from New York to California... and guess what? Every single one of those bridges is now rebuilt and our relationships are better then ever. Sure I did some “my name is earling” and returned a lot of favors.
But my message to everyone is this..... if I can do it. YOU CAN.
You just have to really want it.
Don’t wait to hit rock bottom, don’t wait til you lose everything. Do it now. these pharmaceutical companies are KILLING US.
-Skok
(Also make music look me up on YouTube)
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