Memorizing the floorplans while everyone else was studying for middle school midterms.

I'm crying so hard that drool is sliding down my lips into a puddle on the floor between my knees. Holding my ears and slowly rocking, my eyes blurred with tears.

It's a school night and after midnight.

And the shot glass slaps down on the table, leaving a puddle on the table of spilled liquor.

And we lost count, didn't we?

But between my short breathes on the hardwood floor, the China rattles, and the walls quiver.

Broken record, the music blasts.

"Please come now I think I'm falling

I'm holding on to all I think is safe

It seems I found the road to nowhere

And I'm trying to escape

I yelled back when I heard thunder

But I'm down to one last breath

And with it let me say, let me say

Hold me now

I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking

Maybe six feet ain't so far down"

And it's Creed.

Her bloody hands, she just keeps pouring and shooting back more. Empty bottle collection under the wooden globe, next to the leather lounger. Kickstand never scuffed because no one relaxes here.

I cannot hear my own panting but I can feel my head getting light.

And so I shut my eyes, rocking as I visualize the floorplan:

One doorknob.

16 creaky steps.

2 left's, one right.

Unlock horizontal.

Another door nob.

4 steps.

Right turn.

Gate.

Lift it so gently.

Run.

I'm going to do it this time.

I'm going to run.

I'm biting my lip and I can taste the blood. I can do this, in a whisper of a pep talk I tell myself to get up.

I grab my phone.

I slip-on shoes.

I have no coat.

The chorus is on repeat. Her voice is lifting with it. The distances she goes. She travels with the beat.

She is somewhere else.

I make it past the knob and count down the creaks. The music is louder and harder.

I want to turn left.

Turn left. TURN LEFT.

I turn right.

She is not standing. It's more like levitation. Swooshing around hauntingly to those same lyrics.

Did she have Crimson hands?

I can't remember.

It's been too long.

I can't remember.

She sees through me. A shout. A curse. A curse on me. And then she sways around again. Long spider fingers twisting the dial right. Always right. And the beat shakes the floor.

So I run.

I forget the plan.

I look forward and twist the knob. I have to unlock the glass door next. I'm leaping out through a portal of noise into the cold, dark night.

I'm down on the cement now.

And I'm moving fast.

Behind me, a shriek. She is behind me and following. She is incoherent but she is on the move. Hunting.

She is hunting me.

So I just run.

I take down the streets, the familiar pavement I take to school every day.

Again I choose right, not left.

I'm breaking for it, across a busy multi-section.

I keep going across the town line into the next. Leaping over curbs and through parking lots.

I'm running up a popular road, though barely anyone is on the road.

Coming up to a bridge.

A car is coming and I can't tell if it's after me.

Another right into bushes. I hide, panting in the cool air.

Shutting my eyes and waiting til the streets are dead.

What time is it? My phone has died. I cannot tell.

I know where I'm going. But I need to wait. So I do.

When I feel safer, I slip through the grass and trees til I get to a side road off the main one.

And I follow it all the way down. That familiar strip, leading me to a house where I know if I knock on the window he will answer.

And I won't even have to explain it.

It's so sad that I don't have to explain it.

I'm slowing down my pace down this long road. I'm looking forward at the deadness, at the silence of the night...

And for a moment it is peaceful, just the sound of my heartbeat and the crickets chirping away.

Until that familiar beat is back, just faintly in my ear.

That same damn chorus.

Her midnight anthem.