Love Yourself

There are so many reasons each day to feel badly, not including physical ailments. As someone who has been contending with Bipolar Disorder for the past 18 years, I feel I am pretty experienced when it comes to dealing with emotions and emotional breakdowns. It's a strange phenomena and it happens to everyone, even if you are not diagnosed with a mental illness. It could be a perfectly good day, sun shining, bills paid, no problems confronting you, yet you feel awful and you don't know why. You have a voice in your head telling you that you're not good enough or that something you usually love about yourself is invalid. This is when women start whining and saying "I'm too fat," or "I'm too stupid," or "I'm too whatever," and they feed their depression because they have lost the will to battle. They just want to surrender and relax. They don't want to win anymore. It's not just women, it happens with men too, but stereotypically women are better at expressing their emotions than men.

I used to take prescription medication daily to deal with various problems that I experienced due to my Bipolar Disorder. I've been a great guinea pig for the psychotherapists. They don't mean any harm. I believe they really want to help. But body chemistry and brain reactions are not easy to medicated. Most of the time it was trial and error, and it made me feel like an experiment instead of a healing patient.

Over the years, I developed various methods of self-medication. People laugh when I tell them that smoking is part of my prescribed medications for my disability. They think I'm joking. They have no idea how bad I flip out when I run out of cigarettes. I seriously can't function. Yet if I was to say that I flip out when I run out of Zoloft they would not laugh. Why is it any different?

There are lots of other things I can do besides smoking a cigarette to cheer myself up or make myself feel better. Take a nice shower or bubble bath or go for a swim if you are lucky enough to have somewhere to swim. Wash your hair. Trim and paint your nails, or if you can afford a mani-pedi at the salon, get spoiled. Go for a walk or bike ride down a nice scenic path. Pick some wildflowers. Listen to the seashells on the beach or just open your window and listen to the wind. Call someone who has a voice that comforts you. Draw a picture or just doodle or color. Make your bed or clean your house. A clean home always makes me feel better. Cook something you've always wanted to learn how to cook or order something that looks delicious that you've never tried. Buy a new outfit, one that fits perfectly and makes you feel gorgeous. If you can't afford it, go online and window shop and put that dream outfit on your wish list. Then wash the best outfit you've got and go strutting around in it. Smile at that person who notices.

If none of that works, then the situation is getting pretty bad and it's time for Stage Two of Self-Love Therapy. At this point, you've got to get spiritual or physical. If you're a spiritual person, you've got to start praying or meditating or whatever you do. If it's a physical pain that's bringing you down, you've got to pay attention to it. Muscle aches? Time for stretches and massages. Weak muscles? Time for lifts and weights. Stiff muscles? Time to stretch and walk or run if you're able. I do recommend Yoga.

If none of the above works, then the situation is really, really bad. You've hit the dark hole of depression and that's a dangerous place to be because that's when one starts thinking about suicide. I've been there. This is when you really need other people to help. You've got to ask someone to care. You've got to get around someone who cares to listen and who will say what you need to hear. Even if it's a psychotherapist you've never met, they might be the angel you need at that desperate hour.

Remember to love yourself. Loving yourself makes it so much easier for others to love you.